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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

ExH threatening to call police

178 replies

RBush22 · 20/12/2024 19:04

I am due to move out with my 2 children next week, 1 hour drive away to my mum's house. I have made this known to exH since September, we went to mediation in October only for it to stall as mediator backed my plan and his was totally unreasonable. I then got a solicitor who has written him 2 letters explaining my move and trying to get him to agree - he/his solicitor has disagreed to everything giving no reasons as to why. My solicitor has told me I am not "relocating" so I don't need his permission.

He never applied for a prohibited steps order (PSO) and the latest letter from his solicitor today is that if I do move with the children, exH will phone the police immediately and he will apply to the court urgently (to get them returned).

I am still shaking - is this just fear mongering? Has this happened to anyone?

OP posts:
Original poster
RBush22 · 26/12/2024 15:46

I had planned for my mum to take my daughter to theatre tomorrow so that she’s not around for the move and he’s going to say to my mum that he is not allowing her to go to the theatre.

OP posts:
LifeExperience · 26/12/2024 15:50

RBush22 · 26/12/2024 15:46

I had planned for my mum to take my daughter to theatre tomorrow so that she’s not around for the move and he’s going to say to my mum that he is not allowing her to go to the theatre.

That's harassment. In your shoes I would report it to police if he tries to impede the movers, you, your mum in any way. He does not have the right to intimidate you. Go about your day, but be ready AND WILLING to call the police if he tries to stop you in any way. Any sort of threat, raised voice, etc, MAKE THAT CALL. Abusers escalate.

Original poster
RBush22 · 26/12/2024 16:06

I’ve reported him - the police are coming to speak to him

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 26/12/2024 16:22

RBush22 · 26/12/2024 15:46

I had planned for my mum to take my daughter to theatre tomorrow so that she’s not around for the move and he’s going to say to my mum that he is not allowing her to go to the theatre.

He sounds deranged. I'm glad the police will be having a word Op. good luck with the move

Flughafenkoenigin · 26/12/2024 16:31

Good luck with your move @RBush22 Flowers

TinyMouseTheatre · 26/12/2024 16:37

RBush22 · 26/12/2024 16:06

I’ve reported him - the police are coming to speak to him

Have they responded that quickly? That's good Flowers

itsmylife7 · 26/12/2024 17:50

RBush22 · 22/12/2024 08:11

I’m surprised a solicitor would write that- moving children abroad would warrant police contact.

Edited
Show quote history

A Solicitor will write anything as they're being paid lots of money.

You live in London and are moving 12 miles away.... the Police won't be interested.

Stormyweatheroutthere · 26/12/2024 17:57

Hopefully the police will have a quiet word with him. Or you can get a non molestation order to prevent him contacting you..

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 26/12/2024 18:29

Reugny · 26/12/2024 15:31

You may not want it but unless you are able and willing to do everything for your children which means in most cases giving up a full time job, then you need to agree to the primary carer moving.

I actually had to tell someone they weren't unreasonable moving somewhere because it was within an hour's drive. It was further than the OP is moving. Anyway within 5 years the other parent had moved 30 minutes away.

Show quote history

You may not want it but unless you are able and willing to do everything for your children which means in most cases giving up a full time job, then you need to agree to the primary carer moving.

If that’s what it took then fine. But that’s not always the case. And also - this isn’t true, if you’re able and willing to do 50/50 you should be able to.

Original poster
RBush22 · 26/12/2024 21:28

They visited - he lied to them that he is primary carer and they told him it’s not a police matter. I think he’s now making an urgent application to the court to stop my move

OP posts:
RandomMess · 26/12/2024 21:33

That's no surprise that he's lied to them.

This is all about control.

Let him waste his time applying to the courts.

WhoopsNow · 26/12/2024 21:44

RBush22 · 26/12/2024 21:28

They visited - he lied to them that he is primary carer and they told him it’s not a police matter. I think he’s now making an urgent application to the court to stop my move

Just move as planned. Tell him you'll be happy to discuss it with the judge and to do whatever they feels is in the best interests of the children.

Original poster
RBush22 · 26/12/2024 22:02

WhoopsNow · 26/12/2024 21:44

Just move as planned. Tell him you'll be happy to discuss it with the judge and to do whatever they feels is in the best interests of the children.

Show quote history

Thanks I will - am I able to take kids’ stuff that his family has bought them?? I basically plan to take all their stuff

OP posts:
RandomMess · 26/12/2024 22:31

It's the DC "stuff".

Do you need to take it all though? Will the DC not have contact with your ex in the home?

SpryCat · 26/12/2024 22:32

They are the children’s stuff no matter who bought them

Original poster
RBush22 · 26/12/2024 22:43

RandomMess · 26/12/2024 22:31

It's the DC "stuff".

Do you need to take it all though? Will the DC not have contact with your ex in the home?

I won’t take all the things - but most. Cots will have to go. They don’t have much to be honest. He needs to move from that house in a few months as he can’t afford it alone.

OP posts:
However87 · 26/12/2024 23:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
RBush22 · 27/12/2024 07:59

I don’t know if I can face the day!!

OP posts:
Bluebiscuits · 27/12/2024 08:13

Yes you can. Chin up, stay calm, and just think about being out of the house by the end of the day.

You can do it OP. We are all with you.

TinyMouseTheatre · 27/12/2024 08:15

I think he’s now making an urgent application to the court to stop my move

The Courts aren't open until Monday, so that's fine. Nobody is going to look at his application until at least then.

And yes, you can take the DC's things.

I'm a bit concerned that your DM is taking your DD out for the move. Will you have someone else there with you?

TinyMouseTheatre · 27/12/2024 08:16

RBush22 · 27/12/2024 07:59

I don’t know if I can face the day!!

You can do this. You have to OP the alternative is staying with him and I'm sure you don't want that Flowers

RandomMess · 27/12/2024 08:41

If he becomes difficult or obstructive call the police he has no right to stop you and the DCs leaving.

RightOnTheEdge · 27/12/2024 09:00

Good luck with your move today OP. I hope he doesn't make it too difficult.

Stay focused and try to think about how it will feel at the end of today to be away from him and that house Flowers

WhoopsNow · 27/12/2024 09:02

RBush22 · 27/12/2024 07:59

I don’t know if I can face the day!!

You'll be okay. It will be hard but not harder than staying and living an unhappy life.

Semiramide · 27/12/2024 09:13

He needs to move from that house in a few months as he can’t afford it alone.

Won't you continue to be responsible for your share of the mortgage/rent and other housing costs?

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