ExH threatening to call police

[RBush22]

I am due to move out with my 2 children next week, 1 hour drive away to my mum's house. I have made this known to exH since September, we went to mediation in October only for it to stall as mediator backed my plan and his was totally unreasonable. I then got a solicitor who has written him 2 letters explaining my move and trying to get him to agree - he/his solicitor has disagreed to everything giving no reasons as to why. My solicitor has told me I am not "relocating" so I don't need his permission.

He never applied for a prohibited steps order (PSO) and the latest letter from his solicitor today is that if I do move with the children, exH will phone the police immediately and he will apply to the court urgently (to get them returned).

I am still shaking - is this just fear mongering? Has this happened to anyone?

Oh FFS. He's blowing smoke about the police. The police would get a good laugh from; "Arrest my ex for moving 12 miles away!" What an utter dickwad.

I’m surprised a solicitor would write that- moving children abroad would warrant police contact.

Yeah, it could be an unethical attorney who is happily wasting the client's money on sheer nonsense.

Nervous - tomorrow is moving day. Really don’t want a police visit after a lovely Christmas !!! Also doing the whole move on my own!

He just told me ‘the police will show up to interview you today, tomorrow or the day after, it’s out of my control’

That man is really trying to push your buttons and stress you out

I’m shaking out of fear - my solicitor has said I’m allowed to move. I feel I should be the one to report him to the police for abuse and threats.

There was a thread recently where the OP was told by her Therapisr to say things that are really non-committal like "ok" or "let me know how that goes".

I think OK is all you need to say to statements like this.

It sounds as though he's trying everything, including trying to induce terror, to get you to stay,

I haven't read the full thread but someone has probably already mentioned that this time, when yours leaving, is the mist dangerous.

Have you got a relative or friend who could come over and help you move and stay until you do?

Turn your phone off and move in peace x

I’m shaking out of fear - my solicitor has said I’m allowed to move. I feel I should be the one to report him to the police for abuse and threats

Please do or there will be no proof. He does need reporting

Is there a way to report someone online? I don’t want him hearing what I have to say about him . My mum is here thankfully.

If phone the police and tell them what he's told you. Get some advice from them and make a record of his harassment. They'll tell you that unless there's a court order there's no reason for them to visit, but if you explain that he's causing you fear and distress, if it escalates in any way you have made the police aware.

He's probably going to call the police and spin a whole load of lies and ask them to do a welfare check, or it's a complete pack of lies.

I'd contact Rights of Women. It's feee legal advice for Women in situations like yours.

They have a guide on orders, including Specific Issue Orders here.

I woukd definitely report his behaviour to the Police then apply for a Child Areangements Order and skip the mediation due to Domestic Abuse.

If you're on a low income you should get help with the Court Fee.

Unless you have an order in place he doesn't have to give you the DC back if he doesn't want to so best to apply now, online.

You may not want it but unless you are able and willing to do everything for your children which means in most cases giving up a full time job, then you need to agree to the primary carer moving.

I actually had to tell someone they weren't unreasonable moving somewhere because it was within an hour's drive. It was further than the OP is moving. Anyway within 5 years the other parent had moved 30 minutes away.

Yes you can report online but honestly I think that's a waste of your energy right now, he hasn't actually threatened you, he's just being a bastard. Just move and worry about him later. The police will not be interviewing you for moving out. The time for him to prevent you moving was before you did it, not after. The courts would ask him exactly why he didn't. And 12 miles is not relocating. You're in the same city.

I suspect the police will be far more inclined to have a word with him about his abusive harassing behaviour than support him when he could have filed for a PSO with the family courts to deal with this situation.

they ought to advise him to seek legal redress through the family court system and simultaneously warn him that harassing and threatening his estranged partner / wife IS something they will act on.

Quite surprised your solicitor hasn’t advised that you yourself are within your rights to apply for protective injunctions through the family court - namely a Non Molestation Order if this sort of behaviour continues. That will not only make arranging contact with the children far more problematic since you will not be able to facilitate it, it will also raise the spectrum of domestic abuse and controlling behaviour: neither of which will do him any good should this whole business end up in a family court dispute, which inevitably it will since men like him use it to continue their post separation appalling behaviour .

You can report online OP, here's a link: www.police.uk/pu/contact-us/stalking-harassment/

I have reported him online - just in case as who knows what he has up his sleeve over the next 12 hours. Maybe he’ll shout at my removals people or stop them from entering.

Well done OP. Have you got someone with you now?

I'd phone the police myself and if he kicks off tomorrow phone them again

Yes thankfully my mum!

Well done op. I'd consider getting a child arrangements order underway as a PP suggested as well. Belt and braces and all that!

Thank goodness you have your DM with you.

My DSis had to have our DM stay with her when she left too.

Hope it goes smoothly for you tomorrow and do think about speaking to Refuge about getting a Non-Mol in place.

Have a read of This guide particularly the bit "I want to leave my partner but he says he will call the Police if I take the kids with me".