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Original poster

Stay at Home........

336 replies

Acesulfame · 01/03/2021 13:48

I’ve stayed at home throughout for the most part but I’m concerned that I didn’t stay “the fuck” at home. I understand it’s important from posts I’ve read on here. Does that mean I’m going to get Covid? Can anyone tell me how I can make my staying at home more “the fuck”?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
lunapeace · 01/03/2021 18:28

I drove to the next town to go to a bigger better stocked supermarket but my bad, I could have broken down or had an accident on the way there. I just you know, cracked on, and didn't think of ANYONE.

GiveMeNovocain · 01/03/2021 18:36

War analogies are always good too. I like the one about how no one ever moaned about the blackouts (but they did and they made women very vulnerable. See also the children who were moved to the country and the parents didn't fuss (no, but some collected them and brought them home). Basically the message is All you're being asked to do is stay the FUCK at home. Caps are important.

LucilleTheVampireBat · 01/03/2021 18:39

War analogies are always good too

Yes of course! How could we forget the WW2 references!

I'm actually amazed none of the usual suspects have been along to tell us all off yet. Although I suppose they are busy with the manhunt for mystery contestant no.3 who won the top prize of brazilian covid.

OliveTree75 · 01/03/2021 18:41

@LucilleTheVampireBat

War analogies are always good too

Yes of course! How could we forget the WW2 references!

I'm actually amazed none of the usual suspects have been along to tell us all off yet. Although I suppose they are busy with the manhunt for mystery contestant no.3 who won the top prize of brazilian covid.

Laughed out loud at thisGrin
LucilleTheVampireBat · 01/03/2021 18:46
Grin
Pootle40 · 01/03/2021 18:55

@Positivevibesonlyplease

Facebook is full of the stay the fuck at homers. Or fuckers for short. I’ve left them to it.
GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin
KylieKoKo · 01/03/2021 18:57

You need to lambaste everyone who does want to get vaccinated BUT if someone has been invited by their gp and you don't agree with why they are selfish queue jumpers.

PicsInRed · 01/03/2021 19:01

I think to have stayed "the fuck" home, you must have caustically judged others for perfectly lawful and respectable activity (e.g. covid childcare and working outside the home), whilst taking loads of "fuck"ing holidays as soon as everything opened. Which is also lawful. And much more ok than the former because YOU did it. And YOU'RE awesome at staying the fuck home you awesome thing you.

#littlefamily #memories #smug 💕

PicsInRed · 01/03/2021 19:02

Although I suppose they are busy with the manhunt for mystery contestant no.3 who won the top prize of brazilian covid.

Grin
MessAllOver · 01/03/2021 19:16

To do it properly, you need to not only curtain-twitch and inform on your neighbours, but also let down their tires when you get the feeling they're thinking about going somewhere "non-essential". And since you know for a fact that they still have one pack of spaghetti and a can of kidney beans between the seven of them, that's pretty much everywhere.

If by any chance they manage to slip the net, it's vital to take them out with a home-made booby trap as they return. Otherwise, they could endanger the whole street with their "covidiot" behaviour. And encourage widespread insurrection.

tangoboxing · 01/03/2021 19:27

"busy with the manhunt for mystery contestant no.3"

Grin Grin Grin

that thread made my evening Grin

GreenWheat · 01/03/2021 19:33

I believe it also involves assuming everyone else is in exactly the same circumstances as you and judging them at every turn. Also, going out yourself and being shocked that in a densely populated city, other people are doing exactly the same thing.....

Dutchesss · 01/03/2021 19:45

Checklist:

  1. Merely staying at home isn't enough, you need to spread the word that YOU are staying at home.
  1. If you do go out somewhere and encounter other people, you can be 100% sure they do not have a legitimate reason to be there, unlike you of course. You have the right to complain about their indecency afterwards.
  1. You are prepared to not see your parents/adult children/friends for many years to come because the sacrifice is worth it.
  1. You must watch carefully for anything that could be breaking the rules, and report it to the masses on mumsnet for scrutiny and agreement.
  1. You are concerned that people being able to mix indoors in 3 months time is much too soon and you must tell people of the doom that will come after.

There's definitely a few more but I can't think of them all right now.

MotherForker · 01/03/2021 19:46

You can go out ONCE for exercise if you must. But not running because that makes you a super spreader

inmyslippers · 01/03/2021 19:53

Only exercise for an hour outside. if you really must. I find scowling at everyone else also helps

AnxiousAlpaca · 01/03/2021 19:58

I’ve heard they’re including it on this years census. Do you class yourself as having, ‘Stayed at Home’ or having, ‘Stayed The Fuck at Home’

Oysterbabe · 01/03/2021 20:03

Staying the fuck at home just means you stay at home in a really aggressive way. Fold your arms and purse your lips while staying the fuck in your armchair.

Loopyloututu2 · 01/03/2021 20:12

Although I suppose they are busy with the manhunt for mystery contestant no.3 who won the top prize of brazilian covid.

God, yes!! I wondered where they all were - they’ve been a bit quieter since the tide has turned slightly. I bet they’re all on this like a pack of rabid dogs! Probably having a froth-party (individually, in their own hermetically-sealed homes of course) over in the dementor section! (goes off to have a look/laugh)...

MessAllOver · 01/03/2021 20:22

Maybe they've found the poor bugger Confused.

Dolciedolly · 01/03/2021 20:23

@MrBullinaChinaShop

Staying ‘the fuck’ at home mainly involves curtain twitching, judging others and making comments about people ‘flocking’ to beaches. That’s how you differentiate it from standard staying at home.
And also being at the beach and moaning about cov idiots
Dolciedolly · 01/03/2021 20:24

@OliveTree75

OMG! I don't do face book- do people seriously have this?

Oh yes. There is a few options! You can add Captain Tom too if you want... Hmm

I lol at this not captain Tom
Fridget · 01/03/2021 20:29

Just remember as you frantically try to stop your toddler from killing themselves while you simultaneously to homeschool your 5 year old and do a full time job from home that ALL YOU ARE BEING ASKED TO DO IS SIT ON A SOFA

Dolciedolly · 01/03/2021 20:31

@ellyeth

It's a grim time but thank you so much for this thread. I haven't laughed so much for goodness knows how long.
Me too
Wherediditgo · 01/03/2021 20:32

Also, you need to make sure that when you DO go out for your daily walk, if any other human is about to cross your path, you leap gymnastically and heroically out of their way, lest they have to walk within 2m of you.
Maintain eye contact with said person the whole time, grinning at them as you’ve just basically saved their life. And if they don’t fall over themselves to say thank you, you must tut and walk on.

Dolciedolly · 01/03/2021 20:33

Stay the fuck at home tell everyone that then secretly fly to the Maldives to get a few rays