Stay at Home........

[Acesulfame]

I’ve stayed at home throughout for the most part but I’m concerned that I didn’t stay “the fuck” at home. I understand it’s important from posts I’ve read on here. Does that mean I’m going to get Covid? Can anyone tell me how I can make my staying at home more “the fuck”?

@MrBullinaChinaShop

Yeah, you’re not staying ‘the fuck’ at home if you haven’t got a rainbow painted somewhere visible at the front of your house.

Someone near me painted a massive rainbow on the side of their garage - they’re clearly just staying home now as they’ve recently painted over it.

I have described a few places I’ve been as “rammed” when they were just moderately busy. I’m hoping that’s helping my “the fuck” score.

It involves posting comments on your Facebook local covid page about everyone you think might be breaking your made up rulez including photos of cars parked in 'your' beach car park that you don't recognise. You also need a FB profile thing saying that you will be having the vaccine and you need to make a comment about every time you go out that it is because you are running an important errand for someone.

@MrBullinaChinaShop

Staying ‘the fuck’ at home mainly involves curtain twitching, judging others and making comments about people ‘flocking’ to beaches. That’s how you differentiate it from standard staying at home.

@MrBullinaChinaShop

Please note that if you make comments about people "flocking to the beaches" or parks then this also needs to be substantiated by having seen this at said beach or park without the slightest recognition of hypocrisy at also being at the beach or park or even better justified with "my circumstances are different".

@Sleepyblueocean

It involves posting comments on your Facebook local covid page about everyone you think might be breaking your made up rulez including photos of cars parked in 'your' beach car park that you don't recognise. You also need a FB profile thing saying that you will be having the vaccine and you need to make a comment about every time you go out that it is because you are running an important errand for someone.

To add to that, if you ever mention seeing anyone/doing anything you must add the caveat ‘socially distanced, of course’.

You need to record a message for Facebook (from your car) wearing full PPE and be shaking and crying that ASDA was full of actual.... PEOPLE that were..... omg ... they were SHOPPING. You’ll get loads of worthy do gooders earnestly telling you that all shoppers are “Covidiots” and how dare they shop at the same time as you our Corona Rules Queen. You could also wear a “ stay the fuck home” sash and crown just to drive that message home.

Yes OP you have find evidence of people not staying the fuck at home by not actually stay the fuck at home yourself.

Don’t forget to end every phone conversation, social media post or text/WhatsApp etc with “stay safe”.
Otherwise you are just asking to NOT be safe.

I've done some awful things. I let my children attend school from September-December. DH goes to work each day. I physically visit the supermarket. We haven't clapped (as did none of the nearby houses...all containing keyworkers!) . I've used my car. We even went camping a few times.

I wear sackcloth and ashes and flog myself daily for my outrageous behaviour.

I’m hoping that when all this is over (no sooner than 2025, of course, and even then life will never be the same again, I’m afraid) there will be a mechanism for finding out the exact individual impact of our efforts so we can have badges made stating “I saved the fuck out of 44 people’s lives.”

You also have to end all of your (invented) proclamations around when it will all end with ‘sorry’.
For example... ‘things won’t be going back to normal for at least another 3 years. Sorry’.
Or
‘If you think things will open up on the 21st June you’re deluded. Sorry’.

Ah one more, if anyone is critical or questions the lockdown restrictions in any way then they should be immediately denounced as a "Covid denier" or even better a "Covid denier" and a witch.

You must have clapped every time you were supposed to clap with bonus points for sounding your fucking car horn as loudly as possible. You must also have announced everytime you did it on social media with photos to provide evidence.

I'm sorry but I've been very slack about this as I've just simply stayed at home. No rainbows, clapping or reporting of neighbours and to top it all I flocked to a beach yesterday. God what's going to happen to me.

To get full “the fuck” status you have to be what I call COVID-LIVID:

LIVID someone took their kid to the supermarket, LIVID you saw two kids from different households in the park, LIVID someone got within 2 metes of you for 1 second passing in the street etc.

If you’re not angry enough, you ain’t COVID-LIVID so you didn’t stay the fuck home.

@1dayatatime

Ah one more, if anyone is critical or questions the lockdown restrictions in any way then they should be immediately denounced as a "Covid denier" or even better a "Covid denier" and a witch.

Yes, or say "tell that to the family of those who have died"

@TheDogsMother

I'm sorry but I've been very slack about this as I've just simply stayed at home. No rainbows, clapping or reporting of neighbours and to top it all I flocked to a beach yesterday. God what's going to happen to me.

Gosh you really haven't stayed the fuck home have you? I am afraid you will have to forfeit your right to NHS treatment should you contract covid

Yes, or say "tell that to the family of those who have died"

And please don’t forget about LONG COVID.

@TheDogsMother

I'm sorry but I've been very slack about this as I've just simply stayed at home. No rainbows, clapping or reporting of neighbours and to top it all I flocked to a beach yesterday. God what's going to happen to me.

Hope you’re not expecting there to be a ventilator available for you 🤷🏻‍♀️

and to top it all I flocked to a beach yesterday.

But was it rammed TheDogsMother? Il bet it was.

Even if you don't have children, you must have..

• complained about not having enough home learning
• complained about too much home learning
• complained about type of home learning
• complained about schools being closed
• complained about too many Keyworker children
• complained about schools starting too soon
• complained about masks in schools
• complained about no masks in schools

-complained about testing in schools

• complained about lack of testing of school children
• complained about vaccines for teachers
• complained about vaccines for parents
• complained about catch up plans
• complained about exams

In fact, school complaining might be a full time job.

@TheDogsMother

"and to top it all I flocked to a beach yesterday."

Flocking to beach is perfectly acceptable behaviour providing you post on social media complaining about people flocking to a beach. But flocking to a beach and not making a complaining post on social media makes you a mass murderer.

I've stayed the fuck at home throughout. But then I love my children. Maybe you need to re-think your priorities, because if you think you're being a good mother by just staying at home, then you're deluded. Sorry.

Make sure you go the park, and complain that the rest of folk there should stay the fuck at home.

Also if some where's busy it's not enough. To say this, you must say it's packed to the rafters(never been to parks with roofs).

Also if anyone complains about wearing a mask you can tell them to “MASK THE FUCK UP” whilst shouting that they’d “ SOON realise a mask is MUCH BETTER than wearing a VENTILATOR!!”