Stay at Home........

[Acesulfame]

I’ve stayed at home throughout for the most part but I’m concerned that I didn’t stay “the fuck” at home. I understand it’s important from posts I’ve read on here. Does that mean I’m going to get Covid? Can anyone tell me how I can make my staying at home more “the fuck”?

Legend says if you don’t post a pic of your vaccine card on Facebook the vaccine won’t work on you.

Also on a more serious note I know several people who have died from or due to corona. My mocking isn’t towards people following the rules it’s towards the people who are loudly following the rules or making up their own while berating others for doing perfectly reasonable and legal things.

@LucilleTheVampireBat

make sure you wash it with bleach before you wear it though, cant be too careful

Actually, if you're going to do it properly, you need to quarantine it in the garage for at least 3 days and then give it a "jolly good wash with hot soapy water".

That's fine, I'm well practised in this. Actually, we quarantine our shopping for 10 days just to be on the safe side. All the fruit and veg are mouldy, the bread is stale and the milk has gone green by the time we use it, but it is a small price to pay for knowing that our food is Covid-secure.

And then they came for the avocados. Even Waitrose stock Brazilian coffee, Brazilian wine and even - blatantly! - Brazil nuts

@miserablecat

havent read the whole thread but its really made me laugh (is that still allowed...if I'm laughing inside my home?)

Has anyone mentioned the probability that 97% of covid cases can be directly contributed to people in B and M bargains because it has been scientifically proven that it circulates much more viciously there than in Waitrose?

Laughing? I hope you’re joking. Everyone knows laughing, signing and shouting spreads The Virus.

Sanitise every surface in your house immediately!

Whilst out shopping for essentials you have to tut loudly at people who have non essential items in their basket such as chocolate or wine

Double Masking? Pffft. I'm Triple Masking. And I'm heat-sealing the DC in clingfilm before they return to school. You can't be too careful when you're STFAH.

DH ordered a new thermal hat off Amazon to wear cycling to work this week. When it arrived, it turned out to be a thermal balaclava which only had a hole for the eyes. That must be very Covid secure!

I'm pretty sure it has to do with Blitz Spirit.

All the fruit and veg are mouldy, the bread is stale and the milk has gone green by the time we use it, but it is a small price to pay for knowing that our food is Covid-secure

You buy milk? Could you not put cheese in your coffee?

@frasersmummy

Whilst out shopping for essentials you have to tut loudly at people who have non essential items in their basket such as chocolate or wine

Surely even the tuttiest of STFAH advocates wouldn't try to deny that wine is essential right now.... ? I am much more likely to stay at home in a The Fuck compliant way if I have plenty of wine.

In the last week she has also listed her car for sale (to Key Workers only, one presumes)

I think you're being very unfair. She's clearly only selling her car to ensure she can't flock to beauty spots or beaches and can therefore STFAH properly.

@MrBullinaChinaShop

All the fruit and veg are mouldy, the bread is stale and the milk has gone green by the time we use it, but it is a small price to pay for knowing that our food is Covid-secure

You buy milk? Could you not put cheese in your coffee?

You buy COFFEE?

I like to advertise my STFAH status by telling everyone how I welded the front door of my 65 year old mothers house because she kept trying to go outside.

Poor dear, clearly senile and doesnt realise that if she walks past any covid disease vector children, or even worse a teenager that she will drop dead of covid instantly.

She keeps trying to call me, but for her safety I'm going NC in case she expects me to go round to release her.

@SpnBaby1967

I like to advertise my STFAH status by telling everyone how I welded the front door of my 65 year old mothers house because she kept trying to go outside.

Poor dear, clearly senile and doesnt realise that if she walks past any covid disease vector children, or even worse a teenager that she will drop dead of covid instantly.

She keeps trying to call me, but for her safety I'm going NC in case she expects me to go round to release her.

These oldies eh. Don’t know what’s good for them. Keep insisting on trying to leave their houses even though we tell them over and over that it’s not safe.

You buy COFFEE?

.

See, this is why Ill never be a STFAH er.

I am utterly discusted that low paid workers such as @FlowersInSpringtime aren't just staying the fuck at home. Naturally, I'm aware that the science is beyond the intellectual scope of you people, but you could at least follow the examples set by your chief executives, shareholders etc and work from home. But no, you all flock to crowded workplaces with no consideration for the rest of us.

Supermarket staff don't even have the decency to acknowledge I am shopping for others at great personal risk, they can see me paying separately for several lots every week and yet fail to express any gratitude for the fact people like me are essentially keeping society functioning.

One would expect delivery drivers to at least send my orders by robot, but no, they refuse to stay the fuck at home and turn up vans, no doubt spreading covid germs on my driveway.

And don't start me on the industrial estates I drive past, swarms of granny killers are always waiting at the nearest bus stops. Nobody staying the fuck at home would be stupid enough to use public transport for clearly none essential work. Not that I could specify exactly what is on these industrial estates, but I know they don't manufacture nurses so it must be frivolous.

Milk? Coffee? Wine? We have our own Covid Cow and make hot drinks and homebrew from the socks of our teenage sons. Now that, my dears, is STFAH and truly in the spirit of the rulez.

Jesusinthecabbagevan What ABV is Blitz Spirit and what would you recommend as a mixer?

@Weedsnseeds1

Jesusinthecabbagevan What ABV is Blitz Spirit and what would you recommend as a mixer?

Water as a mixer. Anything else would not be Staying TFAH.

There's a reason Japan is COVIDing so much better than us and its not masks, oh no..

One wishing me dead (not sure how that saves lives) and another calling me a scarecrow. A fucking SCARECROW? My hair is immaculate thank you very much.

I laughed way too hard at this, oh the irony.

@MrBullinaChinaShop

You buy COFFEE?

.

See, this is why Ill never be a STFAH er.

Never buy coffee, but the kids grate cheese on their cereal when the milk is too mouldy to use. We would never even consider "popping" to the shops for extra.

Not that I could specify exactly what is on these industrial estates, but I know they don't manufacture nurses so it must be frivolous

@Weedsnseeds1

Jesusinthecabbagevan What ABV is Blitz Spirit and what would you recommend as a mixer?

Whatever the ABV is now, it's nowhere near as good as it used to be. I wasn't actually alive back then, but I'm nonetheless pretty certain this is true. Nobody would have asked about the ABV back then for a start; they just got on with things.

And NO MIXING!

I jogged past a vaccine centre this morning. I wasn't jogging for FUN you know, I was pushing a wheelbarrow of home-sewn surgical scrubs for nurses made out of my DCs old pjs the hospital said they couldn't use them as they don't meet safety standards, bit ungrateful & there were all these SELFISH people queuing 2m apart.
Don't they know there's a PUBLIC HEALTH EMERGENCY?

If everyone just STFAH - and kept 2m apart from their own children in the process- we wouldn't even NEED a vaccine! I bet those virus boffins haven't even thought of that!