Stay at Home........

[Acesulfame]

I’ve stayed at home throughout for the most part but I’m concerned that I didn’t stay “the fuck” at home. I understand it’s important from posts I’ve read on here. Does that mean I’m going to get Covid? Can anyone tell me how I can make my staying at home more “the fuck”?

You have to be an eye-witness to all “bad behaviour” but provide no explanation why you were there or how you got there. Your role was merely that of ‘reporter’ and thus performing an essential public service.

@KeepWashingThoseHands

You have to be an eye-witness to all “bad behaviour” but provide no explanation why you were there or how you got there. Your role was merely that of ‘reporter’ and thus performing an essential public service.

We had one of these reporters on our local facebook page at the weekend. He videod himself walking through the middle of the packed crowds at our seafront to warn others of the dangerous covidiots at the beach. What a hero!

I flocked to the beach yesterday and it was rammed with people - not really, but I’m sure I could have taken a photo at an angle so it look like it was full of people flocking and flouting

The queue for the takeaway coffee shop was quite long but I didn’t take a photo of that either

Must try harder.

Staying The Fuck At Home isn't something to be taken lightly. If we had the clapping hands emoji on here then I feel that it would be used between each word to really. ram. the. point. home.

CAPS help.

Selfish, blah blah, something about a ventilator...

The above don't count if you are going for a full house.

Facebook is full of the stay the fuck at homers. Or fuckers for short. I’ve left them to it.

Oh and don’t forget to completely disregard every other suffering in society...vital ingredient of staying the fuck at home.

@KeepWashingThoseHands

You have to be an eye-witness to all “bad behaviour” but provide no explanation why you were there or how you got there. Your role was merely that of ‘reporter’ and thus performing an essential public service.

@Loopyloututu2

Don’t forget to end every phone conversation, social media post or text/WhatsApp etc with “stay safe”. Otherwise you are just asking to NOT be safe.

Very true.

Stay safe xx

To truly stay the fuck at home you have to expect others to still provide you with essential services but simultaneously stay the fuck at home. Deliver my food but stay the fuck at home. Police the streets but stay the fuck at home etc. No one has any need to not be at home except when the do but they shouldn't

Unless like a local news outlet you’ve sent your journalists out to see how many people are in the supermarkets reporting on their masks and generally just being a nuisance you aren’t staying the fuck at home.

Of course it’s essential to wonder round reporting on how many are wearing masks. It’s breaking news

I think it's also important to broadcast your new found in-depth knowledge of virology, explaining in loud CAPITAL LETTERS how everyone else is singlehandedly spreading the virus, which by the way is fatal in all cases other than those who get long COVID.

You must burn your garden bench in case some fucker breaks in and sits on it with a costa. Oh, and stay away from the fucking windows. Transmitting covid through glass via your arse is a prime route through which grannies meet their end.

Don't forget you mustn't eat or drink anything that is 'non-essential'. A bucket of organic oats and tap water is quite sufficient for your needs.

It means using cheese in your coffee if you run out of milk. STAY THE FUCK AT HOME and don't pop to the Spar for a bottle of semi skimmed. If you do. You'll kill a granny.

Says mumsnet, innit.

Oh no!!! Not only have I not STAY(ED) THE FUCK HOME, I haven't stayed home at all because, well work. I feel like I've let the side down very badly.

You should shake and cry if anyone comes closer than 7 m to you on the street. You shout “ SOCIAL DISTANCING “ wherever you go and wrap yourself in black and yellow tape from head to toe. You set up hundreds of dogooder WhatsApp groups in order to assist the community ( read show off worthiness). Call them really dramatic names like AC-12 unit Covid, Rapid Response unit . Have a high viz best with group names emblazoned on the back and ensure they are worn at all times even in shower.

@trappedsincesundaymorn

Oh no!!! Not only have I not STAY(ED) THE FUCK HOME, I haven't stayed home at all because, well work. I feel like I've let the side down very badly.

Jeez @trappedsincesundaymorn! What’s wrong with you? Are you some kind of COVIDIDIOT? Stay THEFUCKHOME! It’s not hard

Gamefacer

I'm worse than that because I went out for 3 walks today with 3 different people whilst I was at work. I'm nothing short of a murderer.

You must have dents in all your best Le Creuset pots and pans and soup ladles from banging for carers. I call them battle scars. I intend to leave them in my will for the triplets. #makingcovidmemories

Other than that, you must have spent all of your time since March padlocked inside your Zoflora'd wheelie bin, wearing full PPE.

You are now allowed to be wheelied down to your GP surgery or hub by a keyworker to get your vaccine. You must only stick one arm out though and briefly.

Dare I say it I actually partook in eat out to help out.

I know. There is no hope for me at all . Sorry people .

I think it generally involves going to the park or the beach for your daily exercise and then complaining that everyone else has had the same idea...

@ZaZathecat

Don't forget you mustn't eat or drink anything that is 'non-essential'. A bucket of organic oats and tap water is quite sufficient for your needs.

Lol 😂

You also can't just call it covid. You must call it "this deadly virus" or alternatively "this terrible disease"

It's a grim time but thank you so much for this thread. I haven't laughed so much for goodness knows how long.

@ellyeth

It's a grim time but thank you so much for this thread. I haven't laughed so much for goodness knows how long.

"grim time"??? Are you a covid denier?

It's the greatest disaster to befall mankind since the Black Death with bells on.