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Original poster

Stay at Home........

336 replies

Acesulfame · 01/03/2021 13:48

I’ve stayed at home throughout for the most part but I’m concerned that I didn’t stay “the fuck” at home. I understand it’s important from posts I’ve read on here. Does that mean I’m going to get Covid? Can anyone tell me how I can make my staying at home more “the fuck”?

OP posts:
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8
Insert1x20p · 03/03/2021 11:48

To truly truly be a STFAH pro, you must have posted the meme showing a World War One trench with a caption that says "Our grandfathers spent Christmas 1914 like this, you're only being asked to STFAH. Do it, or you're a piece of shit"

I thought "lucky bastard got to go to France and fraternise with the enemy". I therefore failed the STFAH test and am now a pariah, especially as I posted "But your Grandad is only 65. Do the math"

110APiccadilly · 03/03/2021 11:53

Personally, I am staying home until (as suggested by someone on another post) the R number is below 0. You all should too.

LucilleTheVampireBat · 03/03/2021 12:01

I therefore failed the STFAH test and am now a pariah, especially as I posted "But your Grandad is only 65. Do the math"

Grin Love it.

I made the mistake of commenting on a frothy facebook post the other day. My ''phone was on FIRE with the responses ranging from you selfish cunt, to "you've clearly never lost anyone". I even got a few private messages. One wishing me dead (not sure how that saves lives) and another calling me a scarecrow. A fucking SCARECROW? My hair is immaculate thank you very much.

OliveTree75 · 03/03/2021 12:07

My hair is immaculate thank you very much

Selfish. I haven't had a haircut since December 2019 for the good of the nation.

CornishYarg · 03/03/2021 12:10

@110APiccadilly

Personally, I am staying home until (as suggested by someone on another post) the R number is below 0. You all should too.
Oh yes, that's a good idea. I'm also going to STFAH until the total number of Covid deaths starts to fall. After all, if we all just stop being selfish and stay locked down for a few more weeks, it'll give the scientists time to find a cure for death.
OliveTree75 · 03/03/2021 12:12

@110APiccadilly

Personally, I am staying home until (as suggested by someone on another post) the R number is below 0. You all should too.
Hero
Stay at Home........
Eaumyword · 03/03/2021 12:13

I haven't STFAH because I'm a KEY WORKER (like Dorothy's red glitter shoes in the Wizard of Oz, that phrase only teleports you places if you say it loudly at least 3 times.)
I am coveting a car sticker saying Key Worker On Board, but have refrained to date because I'm not sufficiently a complete cock.
I've done other people's shopping but haven't done it correctly as I didn't photograph it and video myself handing it over.
I feel like a total failure.
Maybe I should STFAH and think about what I've done.

MrBullinaChinaShop · 03/03/2021 12:16

One wishing me dead (not sure how that saves lives)

Because if you’re dead, you can’t murder other people by not staying the fuck at home. Obviously.

Toffeesprinkles · 03/03/2021 12:17

I spend my days with my nose pressed against the window looking for rule breakers whilst my children run feral in the background, looking for scraps of food amongst the empty tins of beans and pasta packets. Occassionally I will venture out for the bare essentials, wearing 5 masks, plastic glasses and surgical gloves, ready to launch myself into the path of oncoming cars to avoid any people walking towards me on the way. In the evening I will update my facebook page with the list of appalling behaviour I have seen thay day, despair about the utter selfishness of people and predict that lockdown will last for another 3 years at this rate. I then go to bed, glowing with the knowledge that I am a Better Person and have STFAH, gaze lovingly at my poster of Chris Whitty and say seductively "next slide please..."

LucilleTheVampireBat · 03/03/2021 12:19

Selfish. I haven't had a haircut since December 2019 for the good of the nation.

You scarecrow.

TheySeeHerRowling · 03/03/2021 12:22

This is my OP of the week.

I've been flocking to the beach every single day (though it is 5 mins walk from my house) and it's been rammed every time...with grains of sand. I even mobbed the coffee shop (dd and I constitute a mob, I think) and got takeaway cappuccinos Shock.

My 'the fuck' fucked off a long time ago, mind you.

Fridget · 03/03/2021 12:23

I was consumed with rage earlier. I ran out of formula yesterday and my covidiot DH insists our baby can’t wait for the online delivery tomorrow (how does he think babies survived during the formula shortages in the war?) so I had to go to the shop.

It was literally heaving in the shop, and of the four other people in there, three were only wearing their masks, and failing to WEAR THEIR DAMN MASKS.

Chunkymenrock · 03/03/2021 12:32

It's easy to take the piss isn't it, when you don't know anyone who's died or been seriously affected. Hmm

Pbbananabagel · 03/03/2021 12:35

@110APiccadilly

Personally, I am staying home until (as suggested by someone on another post) the R number is below 0. You all should too.
Less than 0? ... .... ..... so... you want people to actively be passing on ‘anti COVID’? Is this a new thing? Have I missed a bulletin?
LucilleTheVampireBat · 03/03/2021 12:37

@Chunkymenrock

It's easy to take the piss isn't it, when you don't know anyone who's died or been seriously affected. Hmm
We have a live one.
Pbbananabagel · 03/03/2021 12:39

I haven’t STFAH properly Shock

Eaumyword · 03/03/2021 12:43

@TheySeeHerRowling

This is my OP of the week.

I've been flocking to the beach every single day (though it is 5 mins walk from my house) and it's been rammed every time...with grains of sand. I even mobbed the coffee shop (dd and I constitute a mob, I think) and got takeaway cappuccinos Shock.

My 'the fuck' fucked off a long time ago, mind you.

BEACHES?! Everyone knows they are Covid superspreaders Shock I hope nobody (also on the beach Grin) took a photo of you to put on Facebook demonstrate how being on the beach is what Covidiots do and you should stay TF at home so you don't kill grannies. Also, I hope you exercised as you drank your takeaway cappuccino because you can't sit down with it until 29th March. For God's sake, don't sit down with it before then, even if it is burning your hand.
Fridget · 03/03/2021 12:48

@Chunkymenrock

It's easy to take the piss isn't it, when you don't know anyone who's died or been seriously affected. Hmm
I do, actually. Bit sweeping to assume none of the many posters on this thread have been affected by covid.

I have followed every rule. We are not mocking people following the rules but the ridiculous comments and faux sanctimony you get from some people.

For the love of God we are in week 8 of lockdown, let us have some fun!

OliveTree75 · 03/03/2021 12:52

@Chunkymenrock

It's easy to take the piss isn't it, when you don't know anyone who's died or been seriously affected. Hmm
Sorry. Could we offer you a fray bentos pie as a peace offering?
ThePlantsitter · 03/03/2021 12:53

@Chunkymenrock

It's easy to take the piss isn't it, when you don't know anyone who's died or been seriously affected. Hmm
Sorry you're presumably grieving or upset chunkymenrock. I haven't read every single message on this thread but I can say that the overall spirit of it isn't 'don't stick to the rules'. It's just mocking all the behaviour that is irritating and doesn't actually change anything. I think there are probably very few people who don't know anyone who's been seriously affected. Flowers for you.
Worldgonecrazy · 03/03/2021 12:54

I haven’t STFAH but I have made sure that every time I have left the house I have FLOCKED and FLOUTED.

I have also ensured that when FLOCKING I position myself at the best angle so any press photographer will get the perfect shot to make me look like I am close enough to lick everyone nearby.

I also ensure that any outdoor exercise involves maximum PUFFING and PANTING and diversion to ensure I BRUSH past any terrified walkers within a radius of 50 m.

Preens Grin

kungfupannda · 03/03/2021 13:00

I love how the vendor of the “I need to be on the road because I am a KEY WORKER!” car sticker recommends them for “bus drivers”. I know the police have been a bit heavy-handed but surely they’re not pulling over and quizzing the number 38 to Clapton Pond?? grin

I dunno, I reckon Derbyshire police might have given it a try.

@MrBullinaChinaShop I should hope so - if the Clapton bus is driving around Derbyshire, then someone is very definitely not Staying The Fuck At Home. Grin

TheySeeHerRowling · 03/03/2021 13:03

EauMyWord luckily nobody has outed my beach-flocking on facebook because I'm local and the attitude here is that Covid is the fault of ALL THEM CITY FOLK WITH THEIR SECOND HOMES.

Even when I was leaning against a railing to drink my coffee instead of route-marching up and down the prom.

TheSockMonster · 03/03/2021 13:05

It was literally heaving in the shop, and of the four other people in there, three were only wearing their masks, and failing to WEAR THEIR DAMN MASKS

I’ve just been wearing a regular mask. Where can I get myself a damn mask?

MrBullinaChinaShop · 03/03/2021 13:06

@Chunkymenrock

It's easy to take the piss isn't it, when you don't know anyone who's died or been seriously affected. Hmm
My cousin died of Covid. My aunt died of a condition that wasn’t diagnosed in time as no one would see her face to face due to Covid. I had Covid and struggled for 6 months with symptoms. I personally have followed all Covid rules (official ones). None of the above stops me being able to ridicule the ridiculous.