Under His sausage, blessed be the alcohol, ak47s and online deliveries

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

And over,and under, to the left a bit ,to the right , ahhh right there! That's the spot!

Just keep killing...killing...killing

And breathing, and laughing, and moaning and ranting.

We ran out of soldiers and escaped the clap.
We cried and laughed and did silly crafts.
We analysed dogging and penis whips.

Assholes, plump vags , shit deliveries and hexing.

What mayhem will we discover next?

The web is dark and full of horrors... as well as faithful bananians marching valiantly over the hill to sit on benches and eat crisps.

Carry on my weary fluffballs of doom!

I'm having takeaway ... it wouldn't be a real weekend without a bit of killing.

Soooo.... what do you think tomorrow's update will bring?

Yes, I think adobe is the same as cob - we looked at buying one a while ago. Maybe cob is a regional word for it?

I think they're slightly different composition wise?

It's like baiting thick slugs.

Does that mean we can throw salt at them?

Good news - got an ice cream

Bad news

Just talked to best friend
He got made redundant at the start of this so having a tough time

His parents have done the same as my mum. They were quite sane about it but are now terrified.

So he won’t be seeing them anytime soon.

He was a bit over excited about whatever is announced tomorrow, thinking maybe we could meet in central London for a walk. He had no idea 70% of Tube drivers are on furlough or that police are patrolling and asking for why you’re travelling.

He also didn’t realise that they were going to try to social distance in the Tube and there’d be queues to get on.

I feel terrible bursting his bubble but I can’t see the point of trying to meet if it’s going to take us 2 hours to meet in the middle.

Am I being horrible? Would others do that knowing the police could stop you and fine you £30?

I'm really hoping he'll start lifting restrictions tomorrow, if only for visiting family. It's DD2 10th birthday in 3 weeks and I'd really like to have people over without it causing too much fuss!

It's a good night for burning stuff here. I feel a bonfire coming on

Crow “ I'm really hoping he'll start lifting restrictions tomorrow, if only for visiting family.”

He may well do, but I imagine it will only apply if you’re travelling by not public transport. And it might not cover large area, so anyone who is any distance from family is still screwed.

Am I being horrible? Would others do that knowing the police could stop you and fine you £30?

It will all depend on the announcement tomorrow and what it means. Can you even meet up given how many stations are shut?

I would go if my friend really needed me but, and big BUT there, I could afford the fine. I wouldn't be happy about it , but I could afford it.

Let's face it it's a difficult situation that depends on many,MANY circumstances. Plus I know how worried you are about the fines and being stopped by the police.

pigeons?

Just in case I get kidnapped by aliens or something... making sure there will still be a realm tomorrow.

10 villains breathing , 9 bbqs smoking, 8 online deliveries www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3904314-10-villains-breathing-9-bbqs-smoking-8-online-deliveries

Princess “ I would go if my friend really needed me but, and big BUT there,”

He’s not suicidal or anything, not even anywhere near as down as I was last week. I think it’s more he doesn’t realise what the reality is.

He doesn’t really chat to many people, I mostly know about the situation re police because I’ve some neighbours who are key workers and they get checked and asked for proof of workplace a lot.

The local park is now on Twitter due to all the police megaphone announcers saying “no stopping”. Glad I didn’t bother going.

I’ll have lost so much leg muscle by the time this is over!

Lilac didn't realised it was so strict and supervised over there. Then no, definitely not horrible. Just realistic.

I suspect that most people are going to be disappointed by tomorrow's announcement. Any lifting of lockdown will be very limited: garden centres will be allowed to open but only the outside bits so no carrot cake.

Princess I think a lot of people don’t realise

Ironically, the press briefings say London passed peak ages ago and has a much lower R rate.

I do think the mood of the country is the mood of the crazy posters here. Not much will change tomorrow. I think it might just be that you can exercise more than once a day but if the police don’t back off, that doesn’t help me either.

Just a heads up if you live in or near London. You are all gonna die in 2 weeks because.....Boris had a takeaway coffee as he walked to work. Well it might not have been a takeaway as it looked like a reusable mug BUT that's not the point. It is a "flippant item" and irresponsible to get takeaway coffee, no special trips for coffee aloud (even if its on your way to work) its against the roolz, one rule fir him etc, and therefore in 2 weeks time London will be awash with bodies.
But he can blame it on the VE Day parties not him!!!

WTAF????

You couldn't make this shit up could you?

There is not enough wine in the world🙁🙁🙁🙁

The police don’t care about spliffs here either

But don’t dare sit on a bench

I haven’t read the Boris thread. If I tell them London’s R figure is lower, they’ll be fit to burst.

Imagine if they knew my 82 year old mum was at a street party yesterday! She did say people were about 4 metres away from her and the other neighbour in that age group.

Willow

There is not enough wine in the world. A statement I use all too often unfortunately.

I did sit once, but the rest of the time I’m too worried about the fine.

I only did it on a day when it was that or the s word!

The benches in the park all have additional “you are on CCTV signs”. Just in case we forgot, seeing all the other signs in the park.

Maybe I should start a crowdfunder - people who can’t afford to risk sitting on benches!

Hex the pigs as hard as you can folks.