30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

Phew.

Phew.

Phew.

No wonder I'm knackered all the time, it's emotionally exhausting being involved with you lot.

(But of course I wouldn't have it any other way).

Fucking YESSSSSSS! Literally punching the air with joy! Looks like the naughty little BOC is a stickler. Defo time for a group hug 'n' nekkid dance (this candlelight is sooo flattering) Streme, pass on a big frenchie from me, will ya? And tell her to tell the BOC that Auntie Scorps will be having some very stern words with it if it pulls this trick again.

And Pisces, we know The Doom and we will beat, snog and tease you through it. Chin up and come into my lovin' arms, my little pasty of love If this TTC rollercoaster was an actual one, it would never be allowed; too scary, too awful and definitely not mentally safe.

Sorry I can't hang around for the nekkid celebrations m'lovelies. My Mam is having an operation today and I am on dog duty. Poor animals have been locked in doors at her house for hours as I wanted to be near puter for Gin-news. Will be done for animal cruelty if I leave them any longer.

Will be back this arvo to dance a little more, and seeing as its a speshul occasion I will get the nipple tassles out o' the bottom drawer

Oh thank fuck for that! Well done GinBoc, you hang on in there. Phew...

StremelyGorgeous I hope your mam is ok.

Hurrah Gin. What a relief.

Scorp - so some doctors do acknowledge LPD? I've heard on the grapevine that they often don't. I usually start spotting ON 10dpo. Is that bad?

Sausage - I went to Carmellis maybe twice in three years! I was terrified of the ruuuuude staff. They were notorious for being less than friendly to non Jews... and let's just say there's no chance of me and MrShow passing as Jewish

I'm sorry if I won't be able to contribute much. Once Sept commences I will shock you all with the awesome power of my neuroses. In the meantime, do any TTC experts have any pearls of wisdom to fling my way?

Oh that is superb, thank goodness. Well done GinBOC, now don't do that again cos our collective nerves won't take it!

Any news from twinks or salty?

SittingBull, huuuuuuuge loves to MamaStreme for her op.

Slow, I dunno enough about LPD to know if DPO10 spotting counts or not. If you're not starting yet, are you on the LPD-busting supplements yet? B6 & Agnus Castus are essential, plus L-arginine and Astragalus have helped me.

Talking about vits, just started Pregnacare, and really, can anyone swallow those things? I've been cutting them in three and still struggling!

I'm ok with them, acksherly. Which makes me wonder about my gag reflex.

Seconding Scorps recommendations for LPD issues. Apart from the astragalus, which I wasn't taking.

Bloody hell Gin am dead chuffed for you. Good work with the velcro.

Thank goodness for ginBOC hanging in there

Visit to GP was a waste of time, he just said you're doing everything right, statistics are on your side, yadda yadda yadda, come back when it's been a year. Oh, and wouldn't pay any attention to wonkiness or otherwise of cycles as apparently temp and OPK are both inaccurate for pinpointing ov. He was doing a lot of "this is what we're told" which makes it hard to argue with, which I guess is the idea.

It's what I was half expecting but am still grrrrrr.

FUCK YEAH!!! Nice one gin, so, so pleased for you.

OMG gin you've let this place get dusty Bravo for the clingon!!!

Ocs that is rubbish. It is so frustrating... GPs are not fertility experts, in fact us lot in here probably know more than the average GP. Makes me mad. [BESH smash] If you don't have PCOS then temps are very accurate. Grrr. Worth seeing annuva dr? How long is it til you get to the year? Sorry it didn't go better.

Occster I forgetz, didya have jizz test? How long haz it been of TTC? And last but not least, how old areya both? They told me that sometimes they take male age into account: like they did not dither with me cause man is 43, although the obvious bad jizzults helped.

December will be a year, so that's a while off yet. Could ask to see another dr I suppose, but as I don't know any of them I don't know which to ask for, and I suspect what I was getting was practice policy or something. Have thought about asking a friend who's a GP at one of the other practices in town what she would recommend doing, but that means telling her we're ttc which I'm not sure I want to do (because I'm not telling anyone rather than not wanting to tell her in particular).

Mountie we haven't got as far as jizz tests and as TH is younger than me (I'm 31, he's 30) I can't see that making any difference to us getting seen. I'm now on cycle 8 of ttc, which I know isn't forever by any means (and certainly not compared to some people round here) but is starting to feel it.

I know they're doing it by the book, but wish they wouldn't!

laurie it's nice to see you too, fellow longtimerino! I do love you lushes, but it's quite a bittersweet thing to pop in: as have said before, am so thrilled when y'all get diffed and move on up to the Deli, but we're not even trying any more, so I know ultimately, I'll be left behind the BESH bar in manner of bartender at the Overlook Hotel while all the cool pregnant girls are hanging out in the PESH place.

Actually, don't be too : I will have really excellent shoes. And I will organise parties with other non-be-childed BESHes like Kylie and Marian Keyes and Helen Mirren.

ocster Polly's right, GPs know nerthing about making babies. There is no expert more expert than a 30something woman hell bent on pregnancy. What most of them can't quite bring themselves to deal with is the 'are you having enough sex?' question, and I don't blame them, because every time I was asked that, the temptation to bellow, 'What do you mean by ENOUGH? By whose standards? Katie Price? Zita West? Alan Carr?' was too much. Sarky 30something woman is not your ideal patient.

Yeah, I am afraid you are both too young... Year is an official policy, they were a bit lenient on me cause of man's age.

gin Best News Ever. Fact.

He managed the enough sex question OK, again by referring back to 'the latest advice we've been given'.... Doctors reduce my ability to come up with sarky replies to zero and I become model non argumentative patient. Suspect this doesn't help.

I do take vit b6 (well, I take a multivit with 10mg and a single tab with 50mg - I think the recommended limit is 100mg?) but haven't looked into agnus castus yet. Will look into the other two Scorp mentioned, thanks

Oh ginsterspastywithasausagerolltoo I'm so relieved to hear that. I really hope you're not back on here yourself yet because they are taking some proper time to check you out and give you reassurance, advice and hopefully some magic wonderdrug that will grow industrial strength velcro up there.

Frustrating for you Ocky, I'm sorry.

I have totally stopped thinking that I'll ever turn a stick again. I think I'm not just seeing this whole thing as a dance we have to do for a while longer before we give up / look at other options. Is it wrong to be so hopeless about it all? To be honest HAVING hope seems like the irresponsible option at the moment...

So what's the latest advice? Every other day? Two times a day? While doing a headstand?

Sorry, should read now just seeing...