30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

Literary notables: have you seen this? iwl.me

Apparently I write like Rudyard Kipling. Tis troo. Is that good or bad? I have never read The Jungle Book, Kim or anything of his. In fact they're the only two I can name.

I'm glad I didn't get some chick flicker which is what I feared.

I write like James Joyce, apparently. Like that doesn't make my insane perfectionist's need to be the best writer that ever lived any WORSE!

Ta muchly, Squishy. Although you must know that R2D2 is the arbinger of doom, not merely a beeping metal halfwit. For 'the droid', you see, is how we refer to our period. Although I still privately call mine my 'Enoch' (rivers of blood, etc.).

Muser is delighting me elsewhere with tales of poo and I've seen more titties than the Jonas brothers will, collectively, in a lifetime! Things aren't too bad after all (and I'm still expecting a good letch at the norks of many, many more)

Bum to job scenario, Scorps. Gah. Hope you find summat amazing to do - preferably creative, paying squillions and allowing you to work from home.

Twinks I hope you have lovely hollibobs and that you are seriously spoiled. You're being very brave.

Yo, squish. Welcome to the palais. Your round, I think.

NB Do we have a hissing of newbs? Do all of the new names start with s? Or am I being nuts?

Kipling was a better writer than Joyce

I write like James Joyce

Typing in Pencil's Mills and Boon from this morning says she writes like H.P. Lovecraft, which amuses me...

That's very nice of you, Drombeat, but I'm not seeing your buzwams. GET! 'EM! AAAAAHT!

Who on earth is Cory Doctorow?? Farkin' 'ell, gotta be a lot worse than Rudyard (I know his grandaughter) Kipling and James Joyce!

PS Fackorf about Joyce. Now get your tits out.

PPS Okay, so you're right about Joyce. Obvy, I will be far better

Chuck Palahniuk?!!? Dunno how to break it to you, Kipling and Joyce, but I think the website mightn't be scientifically or lexicographically accurate!

Twinkle, forgive a moment of unBESHly sentiment, but I am genuinely staggered by your courage and good humour, so I'm going to do this: XX. What's that? The first rule of BESHclub is no kissings? Well I don't care, Imma do it again: XXXXXXXX

We're gonna need a new fred soon BESHes. Scorps, you still feelin the love for BESHory Towers? If so pliz to start as I am harbouring secret fantasies about many of our noobs in full school uniform, complete with hockey sticks, and am fairly sure that we will need to cane many of the regulars before the end of page 1

Sorry I didn't say this last night but Twinks I think you're sounding amazingly strong. But don't feel you have to be all the time, too. Hope your hols are lovely.

How's our little saltycracker today?

(Sorry, not clear - meant pliz for Scorps to start Mallory Towers fred, not pliz for me to steal her idea)

Apparently I write like Isaac Asimov!!! Huh

So, need to ask, what 'is' BESH? Is there a serious bazonga fixation here (or is that just Scorps?! And I didn't know that about the droid, is there anything else I should watch out for?

Morning BESHies.

Welcome to squishy, as long as you have a black heart & a potty mouth you'll be fine.

scorps I cannot believe you found out about your job on Facefuck, & your boss being a RL matey n all. What is that all about? Glad you're feeling positive about it though. Tis still shocking.

twinks I bow down to your courage, I really do. You are an amazing BESH. I hope you have a wonderful holiday & are able to relax & take some time out with Mr T (as long as he gets on the plane, fool). Seriously xxxx (shhh, don't tell anyone I put kisses).

AuntieAries hooray for the wriggling nephew! That is indeed fantabulous news. Your BIL must have really been through a whole heap of emotions, what a bitter sweet time for him & family.

Well, no exciting news here. CD20 but not sure I've done enough to win this month. Am also feeling out of sorts as we're staying at a friend's house dog sitting for a few nights. And to say their house is chaotic is an understatement. It does not compute with my cream walled sterile and dull home. They also have approximately 78278234786 million photos of their kids, cousins, etc etc everywhere. I've circled the ones I intend to kidnap.

Right, I'm going to brave the Deli - isn't the iggster due to lay her baybee about now? Will report back.

Oh, buzwam jiggle, just for you scorps

Squidgy you passed question 10 with flying colours, so as long as you never mention such activities (which I assume you would not), you are fine.

As for nutters, well, you might be right.

Are you perchance a readhead or freckly?

Now what can we do about you . Maybe we should ask BESHs trying for a second. Theoretically you can go to the GP after 6 months at 'your age'. But is this the case if you are trying for a second? I am not sure, given this is my first attempt. Did you say first conceived easily?

twinkledigits you are truly amazing!! long may the bounce back continue is what i say! hope you have a lovely relaxing break.

scorpelettia wtf about find out about your job of FACEBOOK? more proof it is a creation of the DEVIL. (well it would be if i believed in the devil. However i am sure this will lead you to wonderful future opportunities. in a similar boat myself as my current contract is finishing in september. it's a bit too early to try and sort anything else out yet as most people only look for a freelancer about a month after they needed them to start!

(opps nearly forgot, )

5beanstew all i have to say on that subject is 'skillz' in an embarrassing auntie who thinks shes down with the kids kind of way.

welcome squishy from a fellow ssssssnewbsssss. :D

bitchslaps and cream buns for the rest of you.
aireeeeees great news re miniram!!! but piss of moaning about your age. least you arn't 'nearly 40'

ps, only reason i'm on today is because i am 'working from home' today. it took me 4 hours (yes 4 fucking hours(sorry but wtf?)) to get home last night due to some incredibly inconvenient flooding. i was seriously close to a Falling Down style melt down and if only the liverpool gunshops were actually out in the open, there would have been TROUBLE.

on the white goods front, i knew about the 3 month thing but i guess i also thought a recent binge could also affect things. dunno where i got that idea from. it all so confusing. so really i have to think back to what mrB was up to in march? and that means the holiday binge would show up in sept so i guess i should delay him getting a new test for a while as we are only just trying to sort things now.

his initial reaction was a bit 'well thats it then, its me and i just cant be bothered' which upset me a bit esp as we were having this conversation while i was checking in to a flight with my boss and boss's boss. (yes i stupidly asked him to ring me with the results while at the airport) but since then hes been out and bought a large bag of pumpkin seeds and refused to take a bath (we always used to share, but he just splashed himself in the dregs of mine last night, bless him!!) have bought a load of wellman conception for him too so looks like he is taking it all on board although i think coffee will be the sticking point. (win some lose some)

Twinks you're amazing, hope the holiday is lovely. Is Salty now off being tortured by teenagers? - hope she's surviving.

Yes please to BESHory towers. With very short gym skirts and midnight feasts.

Lettuceleaf glad to hear you're getting somewhere with your fella and sorting out his jizz. Men's reactions to the whole thing can be most strange. TH is currently objecting to me trying to get him to take vitamins as he doesn't like the taste, and apparently can't swallow anything whole.

Can't remember if I said hello to squishybarofchocolateleftoutinthesun

ehuppet rubbish news on the job front. Almost beats the way Mr O found out his mum had remarried - she emailed him after the event!!! Here's a jiggle of my buzzwams for you to help take your mind of it .

Saladdodger good to see The Rage is alive and well. Can you send some of the lovely wet stuff my way pliz? My garden is parched I tell you.

Update on the JIAP findings. After extensive browsing my friend the t'interweb, and asking for advice on here, I phoned the clinic re Mr O's low volume and relatively low morphology results. Acoording to v. nice lady I spoke to, atlhough volume is below threshold at 1.1ml, it's ok. In fact, she did say that the less is actually more when TTC as you lose less of the stuff after the old shananigans. As long as the count etc is ok she assured me that not too much of it is a good thing. So, that's one thing that makes me feel better. Still getting him to drink more water though. On the morphology front, the WHO guidelines now state that 4& normal forms is ok, and not the 15% it used to be. She said it changes all the time and was 25% when she first started! Mr O has 13% that are not deformed in some way so we are home and dry on that front I reckon. So, Mr O looks like he is in the clear. All eyes back on me then....

Good day to you all

IcebergLettuceAndASlicedTomato I totally get your auld fella's first reaction - the Om is shortly to JIAP and I just have this feeling, totally unfounded, that there might be troubles there (largely because my tests have thus far been clear. Bless him: sounds like he's on the ball now. I love the idea of the BESHmen dutifully munching their pumpkin seeds. The OM has a box of Wellman but his hours are so erratic he never seems to be near the box at the same time as he's eating

More cheers for the brave wee Ramlet and his mother. Huzzah!

Welcome Squishy. We're all sane as breezeblocks here, yessiree

Orchid am v. v. glad that Fridge results weren't dastardly bad news. And thanks for posting all that 'cos 'tis useful info innit.

cross posts.

cucumberandtomato forgive me for having the memory span of a gnat with memoryloss, but what was the outcome of JIAP test? What's the pumpkin seeds for? As for coffee - the verdict is out, for men at least. Again, after much searching, my understanding is that coffee in moderation is ok. No so for us ladeez, but not too much of an issue for the menfolk.

And I forgot to say hi to squidgy from another newbie.

Seems good news then orchles not much of that actually makes much sense to me. i hope mrBs actual results come thru soon as then i could do some extensive 'research' and try and figure out what it all means.

and at mrOs mum. that is cold hearted!

the funny (or not) thing about all this rain is that we still have a hose pipe ban in full effect. oh the ironing. need to get to the plot and see what damage has resulted from the torrential rain yesterday, will hae toi wait til later tho as i at least need to uphold the pretence of working by actually being at home :D

btw fingers x'ed this end for the BESHies nearing the end of the 2ww. got some elderflower fizz here just waiting to be popped and no chance for me as would seem i either didnt ov at all this month or it was the one day i didnt test as was at a wedding and sleeping on friends floor etc etc excuses excuses.