30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

Evening all. Thanks so much for all your lovely messages of hope and support today - it meant a lot. And to those who have messaged me too . AriesNephew was in theatre for five hours or so and luckily they found that both lungs were intact and undamaged. They're slowly going to bring him round now - it'll be the first time he's even opened his eyes. But he has had a couple of big poos, which they say is great news! Sister and BIL haven't even got to hold him yet but should be allowed to in the next few days. Meantime she's expressing like a maniac so she doesn't dry up and says that all dignity is gone.

But I'm really sorry and sad to hear you news Twinkle. Life is such a cruel bitch at times. Look after each other xxx

Welcome back, Lettuce. Sorry to hear your bloke's white goods aren't quite as good as hoped for, but like you said, he wasn't in tiptop condition when he did them. When a man gets a below-average result, it's always advised to get a 2nd test done because it could be a one-off due to external circumstances. So the September retest could be much more positive

Well Ladies, it's game over for me this cycle; just got a hint of a tint when wiping after the loo (haven't even used one cigar this month!). So I haven't got through DPO10 again. Have only got past DPO10 3 times in 14 cycles: encouraging And yet my progesterone levels are really high; my temps rise dramatically after Ov and stay high (and get even higher after DPO7, in fact) and my CD21 tests showed that my levels were really high for someone over 35 (anything over 14 is fine: mine were 75 - right at the highest end!), so WTF is causing the LPD? Been Googling; says it could be cos you're only releasing non-viable eggs (magic) or your womb lining doesn't prepare for implantation a) sufficiently b) quick enough or c) at all. Which would therefore also make IUI and IVF pointless too. Trust me to have everything better than average but potentially have one minor but vital thing that can't be treated wrong with me! So sick of TTC and getting told every test result I get is better than average and yet I never, ever win My flawless (absolutely flawless) womb is clearly totally OCD about staying that way Is probably made of Swarovski crystal (possibly in the shape of a swan)

Sorry to moan - I realise others have it far worse. Just needed a little boohoo. Will be chatting with Needles Lady tomorrow; hopefully she might be able to explain stuff to me and help more.

So happy for Family Aries Having a newborn require a long op is so waaaaaaaaaaaaay worse than my self-obsessed whining . NephewAries sounds a real little fighter, just like his brave parents. It's all uphill from now on for them. I'd do a nekkid dance for them all but have been feeling really weirdly dizzy tonight (seriously; it's like when I was coming round from the anaesthetic!).

Oh Score. . Much loves to you. Am fucking pissed off with the universe as a whole today apart from news about the wee Aries bairn.

Yay for ariesnephew! Great news about his lungs.

Scorpidoodle Gah. Stupid spotting. It's so depressing that your body is efficient enough to have an early warning system. However, didn't your GP tell you that anything post-10 dpo was fine? I thought I remembered a conversation in which you had been reassured that you were just super-sensitive to hormone changes that lead up to period.

As for IUIs/IVF, you'd be given lovely progesterone pessaries anyway, and enormous quantities of drucks to build up your womb lining, so there's no need to worry about that.

MistressHead what was up with yesterday? And good luck for this morning. Smears are unfunny, but not that bad.

Wonderful news about AriesNephew.

I am gutted for Scorpalicious though. So unfair. I'm going to have words with your wombular region.

Well, so much to catch up on - apologies if I miss anyone out.

ariesnephew sounds like a trooper - keep it up wee man. Expressing is wholly undignified but so worth it so well done to aries sis too!

Twinks and saltshaker - I'm gutted for you both. 'Tis truely unfair . Look after yourselves.

scorps will do a 'go away droid' nekkid dance for you. Perhaps we can scare it away this month? On a serious note, I also thought that a LP of 10 was ok? Hope the needles lady has some words of advice.

whoever it was that mentioned about the slogan t-shirts - I'm first in line for one. Got asked AGAIN yesterday (twice I might add) when I'm going to be off work again and don't I fancy having another one before mini O gets too old. RAHHHHHHHHH.

lettuceleaf sorry to have about the fridge not being in good order. Like scorps said perhaps the second one will show better results given the vits etc. We got ours back yesterday: Volume 1.1
Initial count million/ml 77
Progressive motility 53%
Rapid 39%
Total Motile count 44.891
Normal forms 13%
I think the normal forms and volume are low but according to our printout are classed as normal (although that seems to be up for debate) so I'm not sure if we need to chase it up. Am going to insist Mr O drinks more water to try and up the volume (thanks mountie for your input btw ), but normal forms is harder to influence I would have thought?

headsup sorry you're feeling crap. Here's to a better day today.

ah muse some great news from you

v. pleased for the mini muse being in good order

The nice nurse lady was the same one that dressed my fingertip when I cut it off, and remembered me, and it was fine.

What's that? Do I feel a bit foolish? Why yes, since you ask: yes, I do.

CamelhairCoat speaks wise words, as per usual. I hope you're all right this morning TopScores.

Oh - there was nuffin wrong other than a sudden Merlot-fuelled fit of rage at the unfairness of BESH bad times. But today is another day, and after that - tomorrow.

How's your lovely nevvy today Ariel?

Sorry to hear that Scorps. Tis shite. To others, I think if she didn't get through DPO10 then maybe it is classed as a 9 day LP? But I could have misunderstood.

Orchid I think things like not putting heat on The Area (so no tight pants, no laptop on lap, turn off heated car seats etc) plus various supplements (zinc and B12 spring to mind) can help with morphology as well as motility? Google a bit.

Head I am thinking of you and your lady garden this morning... so nothing new there then!

V pleased with news from Auntiepisces. I will say a prayer they get to cuddle him quicksmart.

Well, we've managed to SWI 5 times (5! Count em! You may call me 5-shag-stewpot) in the last 3.5 days, so let the dog see the rabbit. As Mr Stew put it so eloquently last night as we dropped off to sleep "Well, you've got the sperm equivalent of the population of China up there now" !

Dead arms and chinese burns to all.

PS - LolloRosso and WildOrchid, Bah and hmm to your results respectively.

Salad the second lot will be in September, did you say? I was thinking about that last night (my mind does funny things) and thinking that's a fair few weeks for clean living etc. I hope it makes a difference, pet (the OM is about to do the JIAP biz so I follow all this with interest).

Orchidee hmm, 'tis tough when you've got 2 conflicting sets of readings as it were - normal v. low. When is the second one? Will be so interesting to see if water etc. makes a notable difference.

Would be even more interesting if neither of your other halves needs to JIAP again 'cos they're too busy popping to the shops for the ginger biccies owing to your morning sickness .

Oooh you're back! Glad it went well

Does this mean I have to stop thinking of you and your fanjo now?

And what shall we chant NOW?!?

I'm all flustered at the thought of you doing IT five times Cassoulet so do feel free to continue contemplating my flange !

Hm. Are we menkul buddies for this month then?

Je sais que nous n'avons pas les effing 'lists' mais je suis about 5DPO and have a 25 ish day cycle, and when we SWI lots and lots I normally spot bang on DP07 (and then it all goes a bit bent from there ).

(That was your actual French, that was).

Disclaimer: I do not speak French.

Je voudrais un croque monseiur.

And I'm out.

5-shag-stewpot hope your small Chinese army get marching to the right place!!!Mr O has been taking wellman conception vits for about 3/4 months, has been eating pretty healthily, with at least 5 portions of fruit/veg a day and (I amaze myself with my powers of persuasion sometimes) has been off the pop since 1st June. He does use a laptop on his knee but has it pushed away from 'The Area' and it's not for long anyway, and he doesn't have heated car seats. Not sure there is a whole lot more we can do?

glasglowkiss glad the nurse was nice. Now you can sit back and chill for another 3 years - hooray!

Arial I am so happy for the very young fella and your sister.

Score I also have 10 days LP, but somehow with the jizzults and all I do not think this is the problem. Isn't bare minimum 10 days, ie. why do you think it is a defect? And didn't a couple of our own BESHs get diffed with a short LP? (Who was that, tell the senile old lady?) Can you ask GP / consultant about it? Ok, I know that everything else being ruled out in your case you are rightfully more entitled to menkul over this. Did you try all those vits (B6, etc.) that MN people reccomend?

Orchid from what I read on MN, aparently morphology is the most sensitive aspect and can be improved with less sex, drugs and rock and roll. We were sent to the FC because of 0.9 volume. Turns out everything else was fine. But I'll try and enquire more on Thursday. As for liquids, that was TheBigStink's info, but am thinking it must be right as my (now infamously) big bloke can go days without drinking any water or a glass a day . I know, I know, but he is a difficult as well as a gentle soul .

Does anyone know if I can dissolve Pregnacare in water? Cannot swallow the sucker! And no, Pregnacare neither. AND MOUNT WINS THE AWARD FOR THE CHEESYEST JOKE ON DA THREAD!

One of the many reasons my school threatened to expel me was for reading Mills & Boon books inside my French textbook

Fifteen years later, it's really starting to show.

Wow orchidese can I lend you my bloke so you put him in order?

Because of your French skills?
or because you are now locked in an obessive world of soft erotica and romanticism??

I'm going to assume the latter, whatever you post.

The latter, which I don't even read anymore, I just constantly make up in my head, said Headbanger, languorously turning her head to see the Duke enter her room, hooded eyes a-blaze as he removed his etc. etc. etc.

I expect a long thigh clad in breeches, a greatcoat swinging nonchalantly from your stiff-set shoulders, and feet shod to the knee in riding boots besmirched from the filth of London's roads. A high-arched nose that bespeaks your arrogance and high birth, and an expression of cruelty in your weary green eyes, with just a passing touch of melancholy, as of a man once wounded, unwilling ever again to subject himself to the agonies of love.

See to it, would you?

twinkle I'm so, so sorry to read your news. I will be thinking of you. Be kind to yourself, & take some time out with Mr Twinkle. Hope your holiday is soon - sounds like you could both do with a break.

scorps I was quietly confident this was your month.

Wah!!

Talking of language skills my fab 3 year old nephew can speak a bit of German, living there an' all. He has the most amazing tantrums, stamps his feet shouting "nein!". I love it, sounds so much more forceful & fierce in German.

Mr D'Arcy Syndrome is a very common condition in women over 30, DemonHeadmaster. I myself suffer from a minor form of it. We won't judge you here PS Voulez vous couchez avec moi, ce soir?

Thanks for the reassurances and luff guys. But the point is that I'm not getting a 10-day luteal phase. As Cass astutely noted, it's been a NINE-day LP, as spotting started on DPO10. It's only a 10 day LP when your spotting starts on DPO11. It's probably not as disastrous as I'm imagining, but can't help trying to find a proper reason as to why I continuously babyfail, considering that all our test results are so smug and swotty and that we have mucho secks in the foofoo not just at OV time but in general. And don't forget my existing health probs mean I can't take Clomid or IVF drucks anyway, so happyhappy joyjoy.

Am sorry I always whine the same whines. I'm a bit OCD and more than a bit anxiety-prone. In case none of you had noticed It must be frustrating to read me moan but never be reassured by the wise words of others or take action (am like this with everyone, sorry). Poor Me-ism and whining are my major faults.

LordMountbatten, that sounds very worrying about the Big Bloke not drinking any water. Does he ejaculate dust?! I'm presuming he drinks other liquids like tea, coffee, juice, etc. And you get small amounts of water from fruit and veg, but he really ought to neck some H2O. I am a bit of a Water-Drinking Nazi, so will come round and sort him aaaaaht if you like BTW, Can you not break the pregnacare in half? I sympathise, as I take Higher Nature pre-preg ones and they're right horse pills

Aha HB, so now we know what sort of a novel you've been writing...

Scorps you need to have stern words with that womb of yours. Again. And you should probably stop googling for all the scary possibilities. Doesn't LP last until droid proper starts (so not as short as it would be if it ended at spotting iyswim)?

Hooray for good news about Ariesnephew.