30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

PS So was I, Lozza

PPS I don't like to let facts like that get in the way of a good self-indulgent panic, Oxytocin

Sorry I wasn't around last night to give you a huge hug Twinks . I know today will be awful, so we will be thinking of you lots and sending you all the BESHstrength.

Scorps, I think Oca is right, LP lasts until actual droid, not spotting? Someone asked about short LP differs - I think that was Poll and Camelina. I spend a lot of time worrying that my LP is too short, and that my womble lining is too pitiful to support a BOC (light droid of two days duration does not inspire confidence).

Re: white goods - Orchid, the HO has morphology of 6%, which we have been told is "fine". I don't understand how this is possible when the reference standard says 15%. But I do know that Humpy's other half had very low numbers (poss 1 or 2%?), and she is thoroughly updiffed. Salad, it takes 3 months to make spermz, i.e. testing now reflects whatever your chappy was up to in April.

Head - good girl, I'm proud of you. Just don't do it again!

Aries, so glad tinyram is OK, will keep sending positive vibes in his direction until he's safely home - do they have any idea how long that will be?

I think I've missed someone. Will check back.

That all came across as very authoritarian - sorry - I think because I wanted to get it all down because I forgot who was menkulling about what.

Personally I am menkulling as is CD23 and gusset is pristine, so expecting the beigeness to start today/tomorrow.

Am also menkulling because thought "maybe I'm actually pregnant" - and I'm not sure I could cope with that .

Lyra, I am refocusing the hope I for my cycle this month into yours.

Lyra is right - I am relatively updiffed (not real until scan, obvs). Looking back at my charts, Scorps, I never had a cycle without spotting, and spotting once or twice started as early as 4DPO. Plus, TNB's SA showed that he had (virtually) no sperms and only 3% good morphology on those that he did have.

These are the reasons that I occasionally wonder if I am Mary Tudor.

CD23 is good, LyreBird - you're usually one of the shorter-cycled, aren't you?

Scorps! - what'sallthisthen? It was supposed to be yours this time. I demand a recount. Seriously hon, that is cruddy and I am v angry with your situation. Facny a snuggle?

Aries great news on the little nephew!

Random scatterings of drawing pins all over the floor for everyone else.

Pette PLEASE come and sort him out. I am starting to rant 3-pints-a-day at him regularly. Maybe that'll finally help. Akshually he drank more than that when we were on hols 'cause it was SO hot. Maybe the spunk has improved!

LyraPoo can I join your menkul? Am on CD24, expecting droid day after tomorrow. I know chances are slim, but I feel sad to forego the menkul. (Although it's far from what it once was.) Why couldn't you cope (sorry if silly question)?

Perfection is my new lesbo-crush.

P.S. Score are you completely sure this is it? Can we still do a bit of menkul for you?

AuntieAries how's your nephew this morning?

VAG, I only talk about babyfail to get to your buzwams. I actually have 5 children already MOTORBOAT! brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrrrr!

So good to see you here

Cameltoe, I didn't actually realise that your spotting had been that bad. The fact that you now have your Avenger despite that cruddiness is actually really reassuring and cheering (iyksim). Kiss me, dahlink!

Oh no Droms put Mary Tudor thoughts from your head - too hideous for words.

Hm Lyra, interestingness on the gusset front: pliz to provide hourly updates of rummages.

Re. what you say about wombular linings and droids. I am convinced (as I have mentioned before), and GP thinks it possible that I had 2 mmcs & that things aren't sticking. I have been having stupidly light droids- paltry shreds of brown string and the odd tablespoon of ovalting (sorry, are you eating?! ). THIS month however I had a proper droid. Actual blood exiting the body. For this reason, if I permit myself the menkul, I feel sort of hopeful.

Plus also, this woman I know that had 6 chilluns, most of 'em mistakenly if I remember correctly, used to have droids lasting practically a fortnight. Had to fold up an entire towel in her knickers. Connection, you think??

ovulating Ovaltine

TWAT

Camo, yes, am generally short-cycled these days - 23 not uncommon, 28 is good going. Which is weird as used to be 60 .

Head, can relate to the brown stuff (braaahn bits, as Scorps would say) and ovaltine. Relatedly, after my horrible Hycosy this month, I had two weird strings of pale brown mucus - about 6cm long and quite thick - told myself they were one from each fallopian tube

Mountie - couldn't cope because am scared of pregnancy/babies/children/the world in general. Also dad is dying so have enough to deal with already - yet can't stop myself trying to add to it .

Thinking of Twinks and Salty today. Hang in there BESHies.

The talk of white goods is timely - blokey had his second JIAP yesterday so I was smuggling white goods about under my jumper before work. L- cartanine and tauranine (sp?) are also recommended to improve white goods, but I think they might be in Wellman anyway.

AHEM BumLyraBum what about meeeeee? God I hope you have won the prize this month. Keep us updated as to your gusset state.

BodaciousBangers can't look me in the eye eh? I know why that is, you're too busy trying to peer down my cleavage aren't you, you dirty girl? Oh, look you've dropped some Twirl on your top, let me brush it off...Can I just say that novella is right up my street? More please, I could do with some fresh wank material.

Sorry, stinkywanker. Why you having THREE smears tomorrow?

One is the normal smear and the other two are for fertility testing. I'm not sure what they are for - I've already had my ones to check for chlamydia, and I can't decypher what it says on the request forms. I just go with the flow nowadays....

Lyra.

Proper menkul. Have been sick whatever I eat the whole morning and have had a headache. Probably not worth a menkul as I am usually sick when I have a headache, and way too early in the cycle to feel anything like that anyway. BUT am afraid of taking drucks in case I am diffed. Which probably just means I ain't diffed and would have gone through a miserable day of no drucks just to find out I am not diffed.

Now then Mounty my duck!

a) Iz waaaaay too early to have morning sickiness. Iz a headache. Have some diff-friendly drucks just in case (paracetamol?) and this here box of special headache-reducing Turkish Delight .

b) EEEEEEEP! You haz been sick!

Delete whichever is least helpful. I can't make my mind up

I had a huge headache at the weekend - only aspirin in the house - had two doses before thought about its baby-mangling properties, which are BAD

Oh Lyra love, I really wouldn't worry about it: from what I gather (and correct me if I'm wrong) you'd need to be taking systematically blood-thinning doses for ages for it to be an ishoo.

That being said I am extremely laissez-faire on these things (I mean, I've laid off the coke and weed obviously, I'm not a monster har har), and that is possibly a not-good thing.

Thank you for that voice of reason BangsLikeALoon. Akshually the headache has gone! Miraculously. Apparently some food helped.

Lyra I have done it coupla times with Neurofen ... and sadly wasn't diffed anyway. But remember menkuling about it and one of the wise BESHs pointed out that there are probably plenty a pregnant teenager who pop a few just to cure a hangover. Statistics are prob quite low. (Note to self: must ask mother all the bad things she did while preg with me given that I was an accident an' all.) I am glad you are joining me in proper mankul though .