30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

I'm hoping it'll be like a Hadron Collider of fertilty

Now then, shall I bring Clothilda or not?

BTW, I know what you look like, but how tall are you? And is there anything in particular you'll be wearing? I have shit eyesight, so need many clues (you can email this stuff if you don't wanna broadcast it). I'll be wearing me camel (flasher's) mac.

Morning, scorps I will be wearing a green and black tea dress and kneehigh baseball boots. It looks better than it sounds, honest. oh and I'm five nine. My eyesight is not great either

Just peed on stick. Negative.

But still no droid so maybe have long cycle or something this month because I didn't think I ov-ed. No egg white. No horniness. No twingeing (is that a word - I have a red squiggle underneath).

Mornings. I am on baby sitting duty. So far, so good, but the parents haven't left yet. I at least know how to change a nappy now.

Are you late yet Aries? I hope for a positive soon.

Well, am on day 30 of a usual 28/29 day (I think) cycle. Thing is I only starting counting and stuff in December so I don't know how exactly regular I am because I was shockingly slack and lax about such things in my former didn't want children days. But it's never struck me before that it's been a long time since the last droid and surely it ought to have arrived by now, even when I wasn't counting days. The test I did this morning was a cheap Tesco's own but it was insultingly quick to point out that it was a negative - the strongest single line in the world. Maybe just an annovul...thingy.

Aries, that is rubbish It must be so fucking maddening, being late but the piss-stick saying 'dream on, Grandma'. I can't add anything helpful as if I were you, I'd spend the day in an agony of gusset-checking and mood-swinging between crying despondently and looking at prams and cots online
Please don't hit me if I say twinging is a real word

Pols, that sounds groovy. I am having a shoe-mare about today. Really want to wear a certain outfit but the only shoes that match will be fucked if it rains. I'm not v high-maintenance, just that they're woven leather so have holes (also look better than they sound ). Will you run away if I wear red tights?

There's breaking news in the butterdish ladies...

not over yet aries!

Doof

sorry, Aries. I had that agony last cycle; several days late but always negs till the evil droid arrived. Will keep fingers crossed for you.

Noticed this morning that I have run out of folic acid, just bought my second year's worth of the stuff, really didn't think I would need to

Scorpy and Poopy am v. excited about your meet up! Please to take some pictures? Speshly with footwear as descriptions sound quite interesting

Am alive. Just. Will just be sitting here quietly if thats OK. Should you hear a high pitched squeal and some gasps for air, please to ignore. Every now and then a bit of reality sneaks past the painkillers...

I may also occasionally step out to try and find another one tuber with a dodgy remaining tube that has successfully had a baby...

Am deeply envious of the BESHmeet. We're expecting full independent reports of the precise swell and lusciousness of each BESH bosom

Am also envious of your in laws Muse. And plus, I happen to think they should be fairly dang chuffed to have you en famille. Actually.

Aries, ain't over yet pal. 'Tis the most wretched business, I know.

Oh M'dear. I hate those moments. When you realise a deadline has sort of passed (ie I've spent months dreaming about a Christmas baybee but that ain't on the cards). Here's a-wishin' and a-hopin' that you require only this pack an no more.

In other news, the OM seems keen to begin this month's SWI. So I might even shave my legs, who knows .

Morning Extreme. Strokes to you. Are you still in pain? This is terribly sad-making. Oh, and I'm sure I found some one tube Mums on my endless MN stalking research. . .

morning extreme, nice to see you.

Get shagging, heidcase, time someone was winning some baybees.

Big hugs to extreme

Will be seeing poosmell in about an hour! So excited/nervous I just got dressed then realised I'd not put a bra on. Slow handclaps and JD faces all round, please!

Will report back later. Be gentle with me, Pol!

Extreme - lilysma on this thread conceived in three months with one tube. Right now will see if I can do link. Look here

Hope you're being looked after extreme, and that the painkillers are doing their job.

I've done some weeding to keep TH happy, and stopped my legs looking like a forest. Does this count as a productive day?

Oh and temp spiked this morning so maybe I have ovulated. But with no other signs pointing in that direction, can the progesterone kick in even without ov and so you get the raised temp anyway?

Have been paranoidly scanning t'interweb and finding out about women who have 500 day cycles for no discernible reason after always having been regular

Ok. Went to get nephew up from nap and found him fast asleep clutching lion and muslin behind his stairgate. I think my ovaries just exploded.

Ah, Muse, how well I know the feeling. That of one's fallopian tubes twanging like a gigantic elastic band

A belated "Happy Borthday" Aries. Hope the Spaaaa (in my bestest Caaaardiff accent) was good for you.

Extreme Jeez, not sure where to start. What a brave soldier you are. Can't begin to imagine how scary / confused / utterly crap all that you have been through must've felt. ' Ere, have a creme egg & quick grope.

I'm feeling sorry for myself - have a cold & presumably thanks to Clomid complete insomnia. Have also eaten my own body weight in hot cross buns (bessie mate's hubby has a bakery, innit? He's a Master Baker by trade. Always makes me laff), + the boyf's body weight in mini eggs. Rubbish!

scorp Gah to the pink panther. Hope your BESH-meet with poo is fabulous!!!

Now, hot cross bun or more min eggs for me tea.........

Fucksticks - birthday even.

Borthday is a scary word - sounds like something to do with Steve Borthwick, which is a terrible prospect. Thanks for the kind thoughts anyway.

Can't think of a better way of spending a Saturday eve than eating mini eggs and hot cross buns to be honest.

I still have no droidage .

Tis me! I have met Polly! Apart from the hunchback, glass eye, Tourette's, flatulence problem, halitosis and built-up shoe, she is fabulous. Nah, she really is! I recognised her immediately and was like we already hung out together (which I suppose we do cos of this place!). As well as being ridiculously gorgeous, funky and looking at least 10 years younger than she is, she's just lovely and so clever, funny, witty, observant, caring, etc. GIRL CRUSH!

The time just flew by as we slagged you all off but after 3 short hours I had to go, cos am meant to go to family baby shower thingy (yes, at night. Go figure). But! I told Poo I bet it was going to be cancelled and lo! 5 mins before me and my folks got there, Aunt rings and it's cancelled cos of ridiculousness. Fucking magic - cut short my Pol-admiring time for nuffink Am now home watching Dr Who, wot I done recorded. Liking it, liking it lots.

PooPoo, you are a dream. Why do you live so far away and why aren't there fab birds like you around here?

Hope 'Streme is feeling better and better (if only physically so far).

Well there's lovely! Pol I think you've got a stalker fan.

Is there anyone out there who lives west of Bristol? I nearly live in the sea I'm so far west.