30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

How wonderful! (is there no way of using the word "wonderful" without it sounding like that character Ray from the Mary Whitehouse Experience who could only say things in a sarcastic tone of voice?) But it truly is wonderful. Many congratulations Cheggers (though you don't remotely know who this new upstart is). Twins too!

Pol (in a choked way not male teenage way). Am so hopeful for you. Continuing also to send good vibes to Lyra's pops.

Are things round here looking up? Are they? LoobyLou - I hope you manage a SWI tonight. I shall be clambering atop Husband even if he's out for the count.

Hearty congratulations to Chegz, that's absolutely wonderful news. Twinz! Awww, it is so lovely to see another BESH win.

Congrats Cheggers you won double!!!

Pol that's deffo a line - I can tell it's an ebay special, and they tend not to show very strong lines in my experience. Congratulations!

Everyone thanks for all the BESH wishes, and the wonderful compliments about my youthfully beautiful womb!

Scorps, glad to hear that you are getting some investigations...and looking forward to dildocam...by the way, it's not considered good form to writhe around moaning on your first go .

Real life babies! I might just vomit I have such a swelling in my heart! Oh but they are beautiful!!!!

Scorps Please do not fear the Lapo. Now that the shock has passed I look on it as an extremely positive thing. You will, finally have an answer to why in the heck its taking so long and they will know how best to help you win your babies (yes - more than one ). I hear you with regards to anesthetics - but I'm pretty confident that you won't die You will be OK m'love

[Note: I reserve the right to use the terms love, darlin and occasionally hun. This does not, I repeat NOT make me a cnt] Pootifuljugso'joy* I looked at the pictures and I couldn't see the line but that is prolly coz I have my screen set to dayglow bright in the hope it might help with my S.A.D. That aside I actually believe you are preggers this time. I can't say why, I just have a feeling

Happy weekend BeshBirds!

Am not really here,doing a fun work day...took them all to see kick ass n then went bowling,now in pub

BUT cheggs am soooo glad I have been Fretty McFretful. Will check out pics soon as,and am sending much love.

scorps many 'grrrrs' on your behalf,hope this is the road to Sorted tho.

pol I can see the line. And also a couple of other weird faint ones after it which may just be the light,I know nowt of eBay piss sticks. I am v hopeful for you but am gonna hold off on nekkid dancing for superstitious reasons... Hopehopehope tho darlin.

Lyra hope your dad is improving,have been thinking of you tons.

And pleeeeeaaaase let our plane be allowed to fly on Monday. I need to be out of the country before wed or I will unravel on the inauspicious date.

Awesome news Keith, thrilled for you and MrChegwin. Hope you and little ones get out of hosp v.v. soon. Looking forward to more news next week.

Ginandlime, shit, I hadn't put 2 and 2 together with your hol and the volcano. Reeealllly hope you get away. Thanks for msg in uvverplace xxx

Dad was grumpy this afternoon at the realisation that he is very sick, again, and is not going to be going home anytime soon. Maybe it's good that he's aware enough to be pissed off?

Streme, I also reserve the right to use any and all endearments due to having the stuffing well and truly knocked out of me.

Keeping fngers crossed for Pol, sending Head for a smear (naughty girl), and frenching with Scorpetta (just coz I can).

CHEGGERS WENT POP! Oh, the joke never gets boring! Cheggs am SOOOOO overjoyed for you! Am glad to hear that you're all doing well and can't wait to hear more, find out names and see pics as soon as you're up to it (Pliz for more details on t'other place when you find time, ie in about 14 yrs time ). These are BESH Babies 2 and 3, so it's norks-a-go-go for a frenzied nekkid dance! Big midriff-avoiding hugs to you and kisses to family Cheggs (Oooh, am welling up!)

Poo, am nekkid dancing for you because you subscribe to my pay per view porn feed cos I can see a defo faint line. This is also your bestical luteal phase yet, ain't it? Am getting quietly excited for ya! Seems like the BESH meet-up magic worked for one of us

Lyra, am so relieved to hear your Dad is getting better. Obvy, it's a long road ahead for the poor fella, but it sounds like he's turned a corner. You must be so happy and so proud of him. I'll put my clothes back on for my dance for him - don't want to put him back to square one with the horror

Fanks guys for your words of support and anger on my behalf. Blurted out my endo fears today to a pal who doesn't know I'm TTC (didn't mention it today either), and she said she has it v bad - she has 4 kids, so that was reassuring. Mind you, her's is around the top of her Joe Mangel (ute - thank you Camelina for that genius reference) and bowel, so is not so fertility-restricting, but even so, is always good to hear stories of endo laydeez having kids/diffing. Speshul thanx to extreme for the reassurance - hope me fretting like a twat is not thoughtless in the face of what you're currently getting over. I know your lap has improved your chances now (huzzah!), so must focus on positive for myself too. I'm weaving you a special endo-pals friendships bracelet

Am going to ask to just go for the lap and not mess around with dildocam. And I've heard they don't even turn on the rabbit ears, so what's the point?

AryanNation, I think I love you for your Mary Whitehouse Experience ref. I was doing my impression of them doing an impression of SPARKS t'other night to TYF, who just looked at me in the way you might look at a mentally handicapped person you're fond of who's being annoying but can't help it.

PS Head, this is some top-quality nuzzling you're providing. Mmmm-mmmmm

I think I love you too . I also adore the term Joe Mangel and henceforth will use it always.

Pol I can see more than one line. Perhaps that means more than one baybee!

evening ladies.

Hurrah for Cheggers and Her Pops. And a tentative hurrah for PollyPoo!

Another relative newbie saying hello and congratulations to Cheggers - don't think we've met, but am delighted for you

Morning hags. I have been awake for ages and peeing on sticks again. The ebay cheapie has the faintest shadow ever - fainter even than yesterday, and if I'd got that yesterday I'd probably not even have noticed. However, the FR is a definite +ive. Woop woop!

I am part scared, part in de nile and part YAY! Mostly in de nile atm tho. Think tis the shock... Could do with a stiff drink. Oh. Except I can't. Actually I tried to drink a very small celebratory cider last night (baybee not connected til 6 wks ok?) but actually it tasted foul and I chucked it down the sink. When duffed with Boo I went off coffee and booze immediately and same seems to have happened this time.

Fucking hell, I have won a baybee. Or at least a fetus.

Wahey!!!! Tis a good job I'm not dressed yet, all the easier to strip off for the nekkid dancing! I'm so pleased for you all

Have you told TG?

Fanks Occers I told TG last night on the phone. His response was:

1. Why oh why do you insist on testing so early?
2. Wow. But it is v early days so I won't be getting excited just yet.
3. Oh fuck - that makes starting your new business in cornwall more difficult.
4. Poor child, being born at christmas. (We know several people who hate their december birthdays cos they always get combined xmas/b'day presents.)

Without knowing him you might be forgiven for thinking he is a callous bastard, but this is actually a positive response, honest. When I got the +ive with Boo he was quite depressed, having been made redundant and although we'd been ttc for a few months, when I woke him to tell him, he basically said 'oh', gave me a kiss and went back to sleep. He was then in de nile for about 2 weeks where he did not mention the baybee at all, and if I mentioned it, he politely listened for a bit before cutting me off and then talking about him.

He prolly sounds like an utter cunt, but he is not at all - he just has to be utterly honest all the time and has not yet learnt how to censor certain thoughts! He is lufferly really though.

I think this time, once it sinks in, he will be mucho relieved that we don't have to SWI anymore - it really had become one more job on the list of stuff to do.

ooh, polly, I'm so happy for you!

Beshies, you're all going to shout at me to POAS, but you know how this is our cycle of "not trying"....

Well, I have usually been a 40-42 day cycle. I am currently on day 49 with no sign of droid, but if you remember I got my hopes up last cycle and droid arrived day 46.

The CBFM sticks ran until day 26 when it moved from high to low, we had sex on day 27 (and didn't have sex again for another 6 days), I didn't even stick my legs in the air as we were "not trying". Day 37 (ie 10 days later) I get twinges that suggest to me my period is about to start. Nothing happens.

Remember me moaning about my temp chart a wee while ago? It dipped on day 30, quite dramatically, but since then has gone steadily, though a tad erratically, in a general upwards direction.

Shoot me now!

And MrM persuaded me not to buy the sticks in Sainsbury's last night, but as I am going again this morning, think I will need to.

MrM would like it to be known that he was only persuading me not to buy the sticks in case it brought on droidage, and that I might get disappointed; a bit like TG.

Oooh Medee that sounds v promising - it was temps climbing that gave me first hint that summat was different this month. Go POAS! This was the month where I decided I didn't want another baybee just yet, only did it once, decided to change life completely. And then got a +ive.

Um what can I say. Except PISS ON A GODAMM STICK Meds. Poo . Good God! MrPoo* doesn't sound like an utter cunt at all. He just sounds like a man. They speak and what's on their mind comes out.

It's doing that stupid asterisk thing again. Am I doing something wrong?

JEBUS!!!!!!!

Polly I fucking knew it! I could feel it from the minute you first mentioned. CONGRATULATIONS!!! A most wonderful/ beautiful boobuntwo in the oven!!

Meds You have the patience of a saint. GO BUY THE TEST - PURLEASE!!! For all of us!!!! I need a full report on range of emotions when it ALSO comes up positive, so as soon as you have regained consciousness please to let us know

Just spoke to TG again, he is getting Boo's breakfast, but he was much more excited by the FR test. Especially the bit about not having to SWI anymore.

He then told me not to tell anyone yet. I agreed but then said I'd already told my mum. My poor ma is such a worrier - she worries all the time about us 3 girls. She has lately been worrying that I am upset that little Ava has arrived (I'm not), No2 is getting bullied at work and No3 is getting PND. So I thought I'd put her out of her misery - she is now worrying that I might mc. There is no helping some people! She told dad, and he grunted (from the depths of his bed, hungover from skittles last night!) Parents... gotta love 'em.

Lyra I hope PapaLyra is doing well after a good night.

Love roundhouse kicks and sambucas to the rest of you.

Streme fank you my darling. I am swinging madly between feeling very excited, to reminding myself it is too early to get excited, to being utterly shocked. It doesn't feel real, but I keep looking at the stick and it definitely has two lines.

Fucking hell, lets have some champagne cocktails please barman!

Poll mums in their 50s and 60s worry about everything. That's what they do. Mine worried so much when we gave up our careers and started the business. She'll worry about me mc-ing when I get diffed (Note that "when"? WHEN! I'm feeling so positive now). When it's born she'll worry it's being neglected.

I'm so happy for you! Well done.

M'dear - what extreme said!

I really hope Meds is duffed too and this heralds a new batch of BESH baybees.

Fanks Aries. I can't stop grinning!

Have thrown on an ill considered outfit