30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

cho hope the spring clean goes well,they sweep all the cobwebs away and leave you all shiny with nicely plumped cushions...maybe you should ask them to put up a few pictures,a nice throw here n there n stuff while they're in there? Y'know,make it all cosy and welcoming...

Thinking of you mate. Seriously. Have a manly punch to the arm. And a sneaky cuddle.

poop as I said I know nuffin of charts n shiz. I do know you is a mental tho...not sure if that helps?

extreme is our date on??

ChooChooTrain good luck today. Hope everything goes well and all the rusty shopping trolleys and mattresses are cleared out.

Aw fanks Gin - do I get to win the crown of menkulness back from EdBanger yet?

I dunno plopster...does she still think she could be diffed cos her gums bled? If so you may have to have some sort of a timeshare arrangement.

you are impressing me with the hard core menkullism tho. Of course charting doesn't make you feel bonkers

am crossing everything for you tho...I have totally missed The Time this month so I would offer you my luck too but am scared that would be the equivalent of a Cornish gypsy curse...

I can't wait for Barcelona. I plan to shag a lot just for fun!!!!!!!! anyone remember how that works?

Am so envious of Barcelona and shagging just because you can! I hope you have a simply fabulous time. When are you flying out? And how long are you away? Are you parents having Mooch in Cornwall?

I've got a weekend in Devon this week, and then in a couple of weeks I have 5 days in Cornwall catching up with old friends scouting/researching for the new biz. Can't bloody wait.

Where is HB? If you are lurking me dear, I hope the back is getting better.

Yeah they are. We going down on sat n staying night,then back up here sun,then barcelona mon-fri,back to Cornwall sat. Feel weird bout being away from mooch for so long as have never done it before. but reeeeeeaaaaally need a break at the mo,and my folks are utterly wonderful with him...

And did I mention how nice the hotel I've booked is?

yes ead I too have been wondering about your back (as opposed to scorps who would rather wander about your front...hahahaha)

Would've been good if we were going at ffj a gogo time. Then all the funfunfun could also have been useful. But then is not a bad idea for me to Step Away from the menkullism this month...

Good luck cho! pol I'm putting a pic on my profile of my "win" temp chart. Hope it helps a bit (yours is much smoother, but overall picture the same I think).

Catch you later

Morning!

Blimey, youse lot got chatty after I logged off & curled up at home.

cho good luck for today. Hope they leave your insides all pink & shiny.

scorp you've put me right off acu! Think I'll stick with SWI instead (what do you mean I had to do both anyway?)

newbies hello!!!! This way menkal lies...

poo I have no idea re charts. Didn't even understand my own. Was very glad when the battery on thermometer ran out. Tis now gathering dust next to the condoms. Other charting menkalists sound very knowledgable tho, so am sticking with their verdict.

gin shagging for fun you say? What's that all about? The boyf & I had duty shag last night, & I swear we started to bicker DURING the warm up! I kid you not. Am v jealous of Barcelona.

oca well done on the presentation. I love stuff like that I've bypassed all milestones I thought I'd be PG for. We went on a blow out expensive holiday to Thailand before I came off the pill, as it would be our last childless hol. That was 3 years & 7 holidays ago.

Shit, my memory is shocking. Kung foo kicks to everyone else I've undoubtadly ignored missed out.

Can someone advise re grapefruit juice? Is it meant to help updiffedment? Do you have to drink it all the time? I farking hate the stuff, but if it helps.......

I also took ibuprofen to help with headache last night. Then remembered its the work of the mc devil. So had stress headache.

How does everyone know this list of dos & donts? Am I driving myself insane by following a few old wives tales? Or have I seriously missed out on some gene that means wominz know these things? Surely if I was seriously meant / not meant to do stuff the knowledgeable peoples at FC would tell me? Or do they assume I know? Know what?

TV this morning. Woman had a 12 year old girl. Then fell pg. Twas twins. Then 12 months later gave birth again. To twins! Hells teeth!!!

I also scared my 2 male work colleagues. Discussing staffing levels (ahem, gossiping about colleagues) someone is PG. Apparently. Apparently she's been PG about 4 times, but either had mc or terminations. I launched into a massively inappropriate rant.........Ooops!

gin put up a link to this fab hotel. I love nosing!

LorryLoad I think the grapefruit juice is supposed to help increase the FFJ - and Clomid can sometimes dry it up, so may be a good idea if you can stomach it. Don't drink if after you'd ov'd though. Or alternatively, take 2000-3000mg of evening primrose from CD1 until the ov. It should have the same effect.

I've heard that eating fresh pineapple (or drinking fresh juice) after ov can aid implantation

Hellooo . Thanks for calling me out of lurkerdom, Gin/Poll/Scorps. Feel shy about coming in as I haven't fully caught up and so may miss people out of roll call - will you still have me?

Good luck to Cho for today.

Hairstrokes (yeah, what of it??) to Gin for the m/c .

Poor poor dressinggown, was so sorry to hear what an unexpectedly shit lap you had, and sorry I wasn't around to hold your hand.

Fingers crossed for Pollyupthepole.

Hello humpy . I bet figgy is somewhere around too.

Thanks Lolly for sampling the drugs for us - I have gynae appt in a month's time and see clomid in my future.

Scropy, thanks for asking after LyraDad - unfortunately it's all still shit as shit can be. He was discharged while I was on hol, had 2 weeks at home, but didn't get any better, didn't put any weight on, and is now back in hosp. He had another op yesterday, but may need another one, and as usual I am 200 miles away and don't have a clue what's going on . Hopefully more news later.

Right, I'm "working at home", and have tonnes to catch up on, but will swing by later. Love yas.

Lorry i am glad you managed to do the duty shag - if you win this month then you won't have to take the evil clomid again.

Lyra so sorry to hear it's not better news with PaOfLyra. Sending you and your family huge squidgey hugs and I am crossing everything that your dad gets some good news soon.

back later. computer access tricky. gin we are ON. same time. same place. hopefully different table

am mad stinking dog lady. have little need for capitals

lyra glad to have you back. sorry about your pops lovely

poo I reckon your duffed. just to add to your hysteria

Disclaimer: I know nothing about anything, especially not about getting duffed.

Sending the big loves to LyraDad! I don't know if the interwebs can handle the volume of virtual grapes and get well soon cards I am sending his way Hope he turns the corner ASAP

Lozza, don't be put off acupuncture, it was great. And I've had a good night's sleep, which is unheard of for me! Good work on scaring your male colleagues. Keep them on their toes thinking you're unhinged

Pollyputthekettleon, your impressive levels of menkulism are threatening my reign as Top Menkul Got everything 'cept legs crossed (hurhur) that your suspicions are corrected and BooTwo is settling in

JoanieLovesChoCho, good luck for today! I hope they don't find the remains of Shergar and Lord Lucan in there Give the thoughtless pg caaaaahs the stinkeye from me

As for me, feel okay today, although ate badly yesterday. I quite enjoy the week before Le Sexy Time is nigh - gives me a glimpse into the miracle world of the calm and the same...

lyra I'm so sorry. Must be really tough on you all. Am sending lots of good vibes n hippy shizz your way....

extreeeeeeme that's ace luvver. Shall see ya later!

scorps I repeat ACUPUNCTURE DOES NOT HURT ya wussburger.

oh yesssss

Gaspar thanks for the chart pics - yours is tres spiky, but yes, they certainly have similar characteristics.

OK, I have decided to view my chart as proof that the TCM and needles are working - anything else will be a bonus but I really must try not to focus on that atm. I can't cope with having hopes dashed so cruelly again and I don't want to be a weeping wailing snot festooned strumpet for my girlie weekend away, which is not a good thing.

Am liking BooTwo though Scorps - I think you may have found my future bump's name.

I have one thing to say

Moo Restaurant.

Thats it.

Gin - acupuncture hurt ME for a split second with each needle insertion. It was totally tolerable and I didn't whine or owt, but the lady agreed that the points she was using did hurt for a second. Not everyone can be a double-hard bastard, you know!

Give Streme big gropage from me later

Pol, glad to be of service

Right, off to work. MEH.

Gin I am vey jealous of hotel - especially intrigued by 'underwater massage'. Does that mean heavy petting is allowed in the pool?

Aw I feel all mean now scorpyflower. come and have a cuddle,I'll try not to bruise you

I know. Moo! Very silly and also small's other name...has been mani the moo pretty much since birth and truly thinks moo is his middle name. There was a song with 'moocher' in it on radio the other day and he was sure they were singing about him.

We are actually eating in the moooooooo. Is my pres for mr gin,he's always wanted to eat in a Michelin starred restaurant. I am actually quite scared.

scorps I will def pass your smooches on tonight...

MORNING BEEHOTCHES.

Am lurking. Polly, pliz to take this .

Off now to read the rest of the fred in detail. Meanwhile I am still spotting. Lightly, pinkly, discreetly, but it's there. WHHWHWHWHWYYYYYY?????

gin am tres jealous!! Hotel looks fab. You sure you want to take Mr Gin? Reckon I'd be far better company. And a better shag although no chance of winning a baybee.

poo I've gone off you! Must I drink grapefruit juice? Really? OK, if I don't win this month I'll do it next month. Just for you. I'm due to ov soon (me thinks) so no point this month. Will stock up on pineapple though. Love that!

lyra sorry the recovery hasn't been speedy for PapaLyra. Lets just hope he gets all the shit times in one & can then recover & get on. Big squeeze (of breasts). Also please do not listen to my ramblings of Clomid. I'm sure it really is Champion the Wonder Drug.