30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

Cheers poopy...he's better it seems,though after a month of neverending illnesses I'm not getting carried away... Am less ill meself now so tis bit easier. Sorry to hear boopoo is rough again.

Where is Lyra???? LYYYRRAAAAAAAAA!!!

By the way I know fuck all about charts. medee sounds wise tho,I'll go with what she says

Glad you are both feeling better Gin. I am bored of illness now - I am amazed that I have not caught any of her nasty bugs.

Yeah, where is the goddess Lyra? Maybe if I offer up the last square of my goji berry OmBar, together with the remains of the cider I've just been quaffing she may win me a baybee this month?

Oops, must dash to the bog - gusset checking to be done don'tcha know...

Greetings BESHly hooo-ers,

right you lot, I've just popped in for pre-op sympathy and a few lashes with the cat-o-ninetails, or the 'Palace Corrector' if you will..

They are scraping the cobwebs out of my Teflon womb tomozz, so plz can the gin-coven hold a vigil, and rub the ovaries whiddiwise and carve wooden spoons, in the hope that the docs can crane lift all the old shopping trolleys and rusty bicycles out of my uterus?

I will report back tomorrow, after mine and Boyfs ritual fertility feast of scrapings...sorry, may have gone too far there (ggrreeeuuuuuwwww!)...just a bit anxious of what they might find. Forgive me BESHes

by the way: 'What Ho! Fantomflanflinger, welcome in palace!

I want Lyra! I want Lyra! It cannot be a coincidence that our Goddess has been absent and we've not had any wins How is PapaLyra? I hope with all my heart he's on the mend and doing well

Oooh, Pol, Om bars are the gift I bought you... and then forgot to give you I, erm, ated them all up. Waste not, want not, ahem. Yumberry, they were. The name didn't lie. Soz

Glad Boo is less boohoo . Good luck with the gusset-checking; still think you'd have more success with the cigar method, mind Or let me help you, au natural-like...

Too far?

Ooh Scorp you know how to spoil me.

False alarm.. was just the white stuff. No you dirty-minded slaaags, not the stale jizz.

Chochie good luck tomorrow, will be thinking of you BESHie.

I tried yumberry one t'other night Scorps - don't blame you for eating up. They are delish.

Hehe, am just watching recording of Ashes to Ashes. Best line so far 'where is the most unusual place a man has man love to you?'. 'Erm, in my bottom?'

Where is everyone? I can't sleep and I'm bored. Entertain me someone? Or knock me out?

I am here ...

Hoorah! I was just about to give up and go to bed, but I am still not tired. Probably due to the 2hr 'nap' I had this avo.

Interesting thread - can anyone join in?

Hey Snooks, we generally welcome newbs if you are - evil, twisted and black-hearted, ttc, in your 30's and think gin is the answer to everything. We generally deal with the shite of ttc in your 30s with violence, lesbot gropings and alcohol All served up with the blackest of humour. Sounds like home? Fill in the questionnaire and let us know all about you.

Scorps do you really fink my chart is promising? Or just that it shows progesterone levels are raised thanks to the TCM?

I am driving myself menkul - I should just go to bed. gah.

OK - PollyPoo - actually I'm in my 40s - gin is not the answer for me - but any other alcohol will do.
And bring on your questionnaire - could be interesting.

Oh FFS, MN keeps kicking me out. Bah.

Snooks go back a few pages and you will find the questionnaire.

Sorry, that sounded much shorter than I meant it - am just getting narked off with doing big posts and then losing them.

What is your story Snooks? How long have you been ttc? Have you got children already?

Sorry PollyPoo - just went back a couple of pages and read through the questionnaire - I have one child and I'm not presently ttc - I had just read the start and end of the thread - sorry

PoohBear, I rilly do think your chart looks interesting. I also think my bed looks really inviting, so am off to the land of nod (dreadful insomniac that I am). Good luck for a pristine gusset all tomorrow

Hello Snooks and nightynight!

It is 9DPO in the Poo house today. Well I've had a shit nights sleep but temp has risen again. Yay... no bleepy metal fucker today for me!

Also, I have just experienced some womblings on my common - sharp shooty/crampy pains which I have obviously convinced myself were implantation pains. Oh dear... it's is going to be a very long few days.

Roundhouse kicks and mojitos to you all.

Morning Polly,

wow...you are still charting....I thought that was one of the quickest sways to menkul, but things sound promising on the triphase, so fingers crossed.

I'm in the hossie in a room full of haunted looking wimmins, some of them BESHes no doubt, but pons some are in for ERPCs and really horrible stuff like that, so I shall consider myself lucky!

So, the menkulling continues. I just did that thing in FF where you can look at charts similar to yours, and you can also specify which bits to match, for example ovulation day, post-ov temps etc.

I searched triphasic charts and matched our intercourse pattern (i.e. once ) and of all the results that came up, 80% resulted in pregnancy, 18% did not, and 1% ended in miscarriage. I keep getting carried away and thinking I'm already up the duff, and then reminding myself that 20% DIDN'T end in a duffing. Bah... how to drive yourself mad.

Friday is POAS day according to FF. As I'm off to lovely Salcombe for boozy weekend with dear friend that is fortuitously timed. Someone knock me out until then?

Cho good luck today, I'm rooting for ya mate.

I strangely find temping not at all menkul-inducing, but then my charts rarely have anything of interest on them. I like to know what is going on with my body, and I am reassured by the charts. Usually anyway...

Poor laydeez in the hossie - you could start a BESH recruiting drive if there are any suitable looking laydeez? Might help pass the time.

My right nork feels as if it has been punched from the side (by armpit) by a team of evil leprechaun boxers during the night. Over-active imagination or genuine symptom? And symptom of what? That I'm fucking barking?

Sounds very promising Polly. What are your charts usually like, do you have much to compare with? I think I will get my knitting needles out now anyway... Sould have the first sleeve done before you poas!

Charts are usually the typical biphasic ones - low temps before, high after ov, take a nosedive the day before droid arrives.

Hehe, thanks Cho. I can't knit to save my life, but I am currently sewing - a new bed for the dog and a couple of dresses for Iris, so I will return the favour when you win your baybee.

What time is your appt? Is the boyf with you?