30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

PHEW! Been reading through. I am deffo going to miss folk off but:

Welcome FancyWoman. Am speechlessly sorry for your troubles re. your beloved. So speechless that I am going to resort to bullying you more viciously than anyone else

Hope it's going OK Cho and your womb is now the most baby friendly one around.

Sorry to hear things aren't going well for your dad Lyra

Lorry I agree that grapefruit juice is nasty stuff. I'm cheerfully ignoring the fact that it might be good for ttc cos I'm not sure I can stomach it. Wonder whether there're any good cocktails that would disguise the taste....

So. Of my closest female friends:

One had a baybee girl this morning (her 3rd) after "one carefree night".

Another is coming round this afternoon and we're going to the park. Oh, and she's updiffed after precisely 2 months of trying.

(hello to newbies. Sorry for self absorbed post. May try and be more outward looking later)

Cassoulet I feel your pain... Of the four bridesmaids at our wedding (so read 3 best mates and only sibling): One moved to the other side of the world and the other three got pregnant all at the same time. Which essentially wiped RL out for me altogether in one smug fell swoop.

Iz bollocks of the highest order.

Th good news is it is possible to survive it, albeit as one of the top five most bitter women in the world

There's a thought! If I am one of the five most bitter women in the world I would very much like to hear everyones ideas of who the other four are

Ooh... forgot to mention that most of those babies are coming up for a year old. Because I have been trying for a baby for infinity.

Wow... just went to you tube to indulge in my nineties flashback and have discovered that that was re-released last year.

I must get out more.

HB gusset watch update for you... no change. But that is good! Thought I was getting watery FJ that arrives before droid but seems it left as soon as it arrived. Nork not so hurty. Temp was high so not expecting droid today. (Awaits RTOD imminent arrival, just to prove me wrong.) Fingers crossed temp will remain high for like, eva. Or at least until I give birth innit.

I am officially not thinking bout it now. Until Friday.

Am reading Letters Between Six Sisters at the mo - personal letters of the Mitford sisters over their lifetimes. They call being pregnant 'in pig'. I likes that I do. I want to be in pig.

Can I have a snog Streme? Ah go on... I'm just off to bed for a nap before work tonight - it will give me sweet dreams.

Hehe, you dirty mare. I'm sure I could make norks hurt if I poked them some more, but apparently that is not bona fide symptom. FFS!

I hear ya!

If I were to find one thing amusing abut this month of abstinence its the fact that I can laugh loudly [read: hysterically] at myself and my previous "signs" of duffedness. Only this morning I was checking my norks out in the bathroom (what of it?) and I had a split second eye boggle at a very blue vein. In months, nay YEARS gone by I would have considered this a sign of successful knocking up. Tis obv. just something that happens at this point in my cycle.

Please to remind me of this when I resume 2woofling next month?

BTW Gin I scored us the lovers table in the corner by the window so we can talk drrty without fear of eavesdroppers.

Some may say I'm paranoid, but the discussions we have in the pub are precisely the sort that I earwig in on whilst completely tuning out OH

In the olden days my ideal job would have been a telephonist listening in on party lines. Trufax.

Greetings!

Really sorry to hear about your Dad, Lyra. I hope things pick up soon for him.

Well I had my Wimbledon common thoroughly inspected this morning and they found no problems at all. In fact they showed me some photos, and my uterus is an immaculate landscape of baby-pink lovliness- prime real estate if you ask me, so I don't know what the fuck went wrong both times I was 'in pig' (heh heh).

So, all though it has not answered any infertility or miscarriage questions, I feel much better knowing what a delightful environment awaits when I finally win my IVF octuplets!

Also got a stash of co-codamol and diclofenac (any good?) to take home... Nice little prezzie like when the dentist gives you lollypops!

That's great news about your prime real estate womb Cho. Think they gave me diclofenac after I had wisdom teeth out and it seemed to work nicely. HB may have more recent experience I think.

WHOOP WHOOP choooooon! I have a mental imagine now of the inside of your wombular area, like an exquisite pavilion lined in pink satin. Not that that makes me sound in the least like a mentalist.

Diclofenac is good and I imagine mixed with co-codamol will REALLY do the shiznit. Dic is a muscle relaxant innit. Really felt it work.

Yo cho that is indeed good news. Put some roses around the , ahem, entrance, nice smelling muffins & babybees will be clambering over themselves to get there. Share out the drugs if you please. Share & bond, share & bond.

extreme no offence lurve, am desperately trying not to become one of the 5 most bitter wominz in the history of time. Nope..... will.....not.....become.......bitter.......

choochoo am thrilled to bits about yer immaculate contraption! Please to tell more of this IVF bidnid of which you speak. Me thinks you are the wise one on such matters, whereas I am a virgin

lorralorralaughs please to not think I wish to make bitterns of ye. Tis my throne at the mo! Was more lookin for examples of slebbity wominz wot are also bitter. I can't think of any now, which is odd because I usually spot them a mile off on t'elly and such

Hello Hagsters. What a busy lot you have been over the last 24 hours. Myself, I have been working very hard. We went to the bank today for an appointment with a business adviser and she was really encouraging and supportive of our loan application and said she thought our biz was fantastic. So I'm very chuffed today. Lots of money, throw it our way thank you Mr Bank. Ker-ching!

Sadly no shagging going on chez nous. We're too tired and fall asleep instantly on getting into bed! Maybe tonight.

Where's Cockdodger? I want Cockdodger!

Sorry! Very me me me post.

Your uterus sounds like a veritable Garden of Eden Cho. Glad it all looks well.
Pollster I'm crossing everything for you, even though I know nothing about charts. Glad to see the re-emergence of the word gussetwatch.
Hello Extreme
Hello everyone else too.

Chocice your womb sounds lovely.

I'm still waiting for droid to get my next cycle out of the starting block, have had pre-droid ffj though, so it must be imminent.

Cho, am v glad your Wembley Arena is a pristine and tasteful Cath Kidston-decorated creche Must be annoying in a way that everything seems to be top notch yet the babyfail continues, but, as you say, it will be the swankiest uterus in town when it is crammed to bursting with IVF multiples (baggsy the spares, as per usual). Good work, fella!

Polystyrene, need latest GussetWatch update, STAT! Am getting quietly excited for you. Not only do you deserve your Boo Two so damn much, your win would give hope to your fellow LPD crones (ie, Moi) I think you ought to let an expert check your norks for pg signs - slip your bra off, love and let Dr Scorps cop a feel

Well, am off to the Flange Doctor mesen* tomorrow to see if he wants to investigate for Endo Would it be remiss of me - not to mention marking me out on my medical records as a pervert - to demand a spot of hot dildocam action, seeing as I'm having a consult anyway?

Big hugs and kisses to PapaLyra. He sounds like a real fighter

PS Am watching Monday's Flashforward - wtf is Seth McFarlane, the creator and voice of Family Guy, doing as a serious character actor in it?! Randomness.

*This is how we say 'myself' where I'm from, for all you Soft Southern Shites and Noobs

Evening my lovelies, just got in from work - a whole 4 hours went by and I didn't once think about my gusset/norks/duffedness. Progress indeed! I do hope Streme and Gin are having fun on their date tonight

Chochie good news on the perfect womb - I am imagining pink grass, bubblegum trees and lots of 'my little ponies' gambolling around your innards now. Not quite sure why, but there you go.

Scropy an update for you and anyone else who is interested in my obsessive mutterings. No? Ok then, skip over this bit. Have rather of a lot of creamy CM, in fact its almost EWCM - quite stretchy (have just shoved fingers up foof for ya, don't say I never give you nuffink) and er... that is it. Don't think norks are painful, or even particularly engorged, but feel free to grab a handful Scorps but make sure you warm your hands first please. Ooh ooh, saying that, now I've got me bra off (I really have taken it off) I have still got this strange pain in the side of my right nork. Um... also, my lower 2 ribs hurt on both sides. Not sure what that means but you never know.. Anyway, no immediate feelings of imminent rusty bleepy bastard, so I'm off to bed to wrap myself up very tightly in duvet-- to ensure temp stays high get a good nights sleep.

Laters biatches.

Ooh another symptom! Earlier today I took Boo to the hell that is softplay to meet some friends. Thought I'd treat myself to a coffee (very rarely drink it these days) and got one for friend too. It tasted absolutely foul - really bitter. Mate said hers was fine, so I asked her to taste mine, and she said there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. Hmmm hmmm what do you make of that then?

Your menkulism is making me look like a rank amateur Dodgy taste in mouth and weird nork pain sound promising! Wear that Crown of Menkulness and wear it with pride

"no immediate feelings of imminent..." Good use of English there Poo.