30s TTC - More Gin Than George BESH

[Scorpette]

Come on in ladies, the bar is fully stocked with Advocaat, Bailey's and novelty Xmas drinkies and the slaves are wearing Ann Summer 'Santa's Hat' posing pouches. Have also festooned the place with plenty of festive tat and lots of v un-eco and tacky Xmas lights and shit because I know we all love getting Xmassy dead early. There's a fireplace so you can send your wish list to Santa up the chimbley, platters of wooden spoons and coconuts on the mantlepiece and 'Mulled Wine' scented candles lighting up The Pit of Despair. Make yourselves at home!

Bessie is your womb a member of a union? what happens if it takes you to tribunal?

VAG I am complying with the ACAS procedure for disciplining poor performance

Bessie What are you planning to do if it fails to deliver its targets? Have it removed?

Brilliant, Bessie! Can I print it out and issue it to my womb?

Because here's my current Womb Weirdness Update:

BONG! Severe cramps last night! BONG! Puts sanitary towel in pants expecting overnight tide! BONG! Sanitary towel is clear as a whistle upon waking (not one tiny mark)! BONG! Tiny bit of braaaahn bits every wipe, but only same size as a fingerprint! BONG! Cramps continue, now so bad as to necessitate taking of paracetamol! BONG! Scorpette googles local private loony bins to check self into; considers selling self to medical science to cover costs!

I have passed beyond menkul into some sort of Zen state.

Scrops yes, feel free

Ski it says in the letter, I have not ruled out seeking external assistance to address my womb's failure to meet performance targets.

Possible thread:
"30s TTC - We BESH you a Merry Jizzmas and a droid-free new year!"

cunty I wasn't naughty, just wrote summat in wrong place.

Excellent letter bess. Hope it works!
scorps for fear of further fuelling the menkulity, I shall keep it zipped.

Casper, that new fred name is PERFICK! Purlease be our new host and open the new festive fred when the time comes!

Or how about - here's to the BESH new year ever - where's my goddamm babybee?

Aw thanks scorpita

Doing it will be a pleasure - anything other than work!

where is everyone today?

beshie pmsl

sooooo sorry not to have replied to your mail,I have been living in a totally manicly loonified stressed state for a few days now. However things are looking up it seems...

scorps can I just say AAAARGH!!! on your behalf. I hope your brain doesn't explode. And that your gusset stays pristine.

It's nearly Christmas!

here. Bored. Looking for some action...

Ginhag . I just tried to email you again to your home address but it was returned. Don't worry about not replying to the previous mail, I am going to follow it up with more detail this week.

I think I got a v faint pos line earlier today but then when I tried again there was nothing. However I had been drinking lots of water so I needed to wee before poas the second time and the droid isn't due till Friday - what do you all think?

bessie I think a line is a line and you need to POAS when you take your first pee in the morning!!!!(preparing to strip for the naked dance as I type). My first test was a very faint line. Thankfully, I'm a dipper rather than a POASer, so I used the same sample for a second test (a better quality test that was clearer).

Looks like you're getting a great Christmas present!

hmmm, thanks Casper but I'm not so sure. I have had a tummy ache all day and I don't feel right... I guess I will try again in the morning

If you're really not sure, you could wait a few days, espesh if droid not due till Fri. If you're getting a faint line now, and the news is good, it should be pretty obvious come the weekend. So if stress avoidance is your aim, perhaps test again post Christmas?

beshie hmmmm,interesting

good luck bird! And yeah,home email is poorly. I know you not on fb but you could set up just to join the coven other place? Is what I did.

Caspar soz meant to thank you for your custom! I have nowt to do with that side of the business (except owning it obv) so have no idea what goes on with it,glad to know the monkeys are behaving

No need to thank me gin. Was well chuffed with what arrived today, and your monkeys were very helpful when computers were conspiring against me!

How you feeling about everything?

Hey gin did you miss my message on t'other place about that? I was asking whether it was your bag or not. V nice business to be in - fab stuff.

Caspar have some festive smooooches xx

carrots sorry haven't been online much as was 'working'...just replied now (in the vaguest way,my brain is shit today. And most days.)

beshie and scorps.... baybee jeebus can we purlease get a double diffment here???

Oh also casp am feeling downright weird tbh. Still reeling. And getting a bit more confident that it may be ok this time (not getting carried away just yet tho.)

and I'm fucking tired. Up at 1.30,2.30,6 and half seven. Woop de do (fgrin)

Got so involved in what gin had to say that I forgot what I was going to say!!!

Bessie will have to go for Xmas baybee gold alone, as am getting heavy spotting/light flow Setting me up nicely for some smashing festive crippling period pains on Xmas Day. Am beyond pissed off. Will be in Pit of Angst sobbing uncontrollably if anyone wants me

Bollocks. Really really sorry scorps. have a very big and very soppy cuddle. Wish I had a magic wand (and I'm not talking about cunty's hombre's trouser treasure....

Seriously, am for you.

scorps I am so, so sorry .

At the risk of being insensitive, saying this on the same post, I'm also delighted, gin about your results. Excellent news. Got your message on the other place and absolutely agree to the importance of eating biscuits

But scorps I really am gutted for you. I honestly thought you'd done it this time. and