30s TTC - More Gin Than George BESH

[Scorpette]

Come on in ladies, the bar is fully stocked with Advocaat, Bailey's and novelty Xmas drinkies and the slaves are wearing Ann Summer 'Santa's Hat' posing pouches. Have also festooned the place with plenty of festive tat and lots of v un-eco and tacky Xmas lights and shit because I know we all love getting Xmassy dead early. There's a fireplace so you can send your wish list to Santa up the chimbley, platters of wooden spoons and coconuts on the mantlepiece and 'Mulled Wine' scented candles lighting up The Pit of Despair. Make yourselves at home!

FIRST!!! Omg, lolz, poniez!!!1!1111!111!!!1!

I'll have to stick to the advocaat - all that protein. nom nom OMG poniez!!11!!! lolz!

Ah lovely BESHlets.

ski is right.. I is gonna need to be sectioned soon...

scorps updiffed is no escape from the madness you are right I should try to chill.

cho I will be six weeks on Tuesday so can go for scan week after maybe.. Babyfail was actually at just over nine weeks. But I had scan at seven and it was going wrong from then.

Right girls, kicks to the shins all round

no comprendez poniezz 11!???????

O noes! U don kno teh meening? Omg poniez!!11!!! is 'Lolspeak' (speak)- the internet language created for talking about cute animals, etc (Or 'omg poniez 11!!1!!! be lolspk, whut be teh speshul langwitch for to talk about teh q00t!'). Saying omg poniez11!111!1 and so on is just a joke on being all excited, in the manner of teenage girls being OTT on web forums. Check out cuteoverload.com for cuteness and the origins of omg poniez as piss-take or icanhascheezburger.com for proper, scary lolspk. Try not to deafen SFF with your squealing if you visit cuteoverload (one of my fave sites and I had a pic accepted once, OMG, ROFL!)

I can has cheezburger is moar fulluv teh lolspk. kthxbai.

PS Have u seen mah bukkit*?

(That shud sort teh menz frum teh boyz. Or the nerds from the normal people, more like)

*NOT referring to my vagina, before anyone tries to be clever.

Dunno what that second 'speak' in brackets was all about. I has a fail

Or 'typing - ur doin it rong'.

aahhhh, I understanding now. I has sin I can haz Cheesburger bookz. will go stock up on cuteness

I can has hot dog!

Hi iggy. I am crossing everthing I have for you...your are bound to be especially alert to anything potentilly wrong this time, but the stats are very much in your favour, so hopefully things will move on and you will have sore tits and sickness again soon. Good luck.

Oooh, new christmassy thread. Here. have some mulled wine for it, it's cold outside.

Hi Ladies! I have been twinging like a maddie since ov; really really hoping it has happened this cycle. Didn't stop me having a couple of wines last night, but hubby is seriously hungover today - good job I don't need his sperm for another few weeks.

Tell us your symptoms Medee! When can you POAS? I think we need some POAS action for the new thread.

I did drink last night, but today went out with friends and stuck to one glass of red wine. Still not convinced I'm pregnant, but my boobs are solid, mahoosive and sensitive. So am going to behave myself a bit better until I can POAS.

Bloody AGES to wait though. How can I distract myself and not go completely menkul?

POAS! POAS! POAS POAS! POAS! POAS! POAS POAS! POAS! POAS! POAS POAS!

There's no point me peeing on a stick, I am only first menkul week. This time next week I will POAS.

Only the twinging. It came on the morning after our last swi session (Thursday am), and has only just abated in the last 24 hours, so what I am hoping is that sperm met egg exactly as natured intended and I am feeling happenings. Can't test till day 40 and I am on day 32. No other symptoms to report.

Twinges form the main part of my 2WOOFL anguish. The fact that trapped wind or a slightly grumbly gut can feel like wombular activity proves that Intelligent Design is a crock of shit I keep getting strong twinges, but are no doubt just me Wembley Arena gearing up for the big droid concert

haha Scorps Instead of concert T-shirts I'm going to set up a hookey gear stall selling giant sanitary towels!

I'm going on Dragon's Den with an idea for tampons that say 'Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope' when they need changing. [gron]

gron? WTF? The letters are wearing off my keyboard

grrr, I hope it is 4Real. I wannna be pregnant!

ooh, Charlie Brooker live web chat!

I love Charlie Brooker.

Ah fank you cho

I has just realised that it is totally in-fucking-sensitive to go on about my worries, when others are ttc and I is updiffed. Am v. Sorry - I has been feeling tha guilts...

So. Talking of baybeez... medee this is verrrrrrry interesting... POAS!

too early, Iggy!