30s TTC - More Gin Than George BESH

[Scorpette]

Come on in ladies, the bar is fully stocked with Advocaat, Bailey's and novelty Xmas drinkies and the slaves are wearing Ann Summer 'Santa's Hat' posing pouches. Have also festooned the place with plenty of festive tat and lots of v un-eco and tacky Xmas lights and shit because I know we all love getting Xmassy dead early. There's a fireplace so you can send your wish list to Santa up the chimbley, platters of wooden spoons and coconuts on the mantlepiece and 'Mulled Wine' scented candles lighting up The Pit of Despair. Make yourselves at home!

sorry scorps. Gutted for you. I really hope you get past the worst early so you can enjoy Christmas a bit more.

Oh scrope is there any hope that it may just be a temporary situation? Or is this 'normal'?

((Scorp))

Oh Scorps, really sorry to hear that.

Scorps

muser I've been meaning to apologise,was so caught up in myself when I came crashing back into the thread that I managed to miss what has been going on with you.

Sorry it's been tough mate,and glad your body has stopped fucking with you and sorted itself out. I advise drinking heavily and eating crap over the Xmas period

You lot are fab - thanks so much for your support. Have had my poogesterone offloading (ahem) so think period pains may be before Xmas Day, which is what has been worrying me now.

I'm now hoping that Bessie's lines were official and that some of the other 2WOOFLers - who have been far more dignified than me! - get their festive foetuses too

Oh Scorpy

Scorpy that sucks. I vote you get first baybeewin of 2010. If there is an upside, at least you don't have to worry about your revolting MIL's germs to an even greater extent than you do already - if you win int he new year maybe you can go the 40wks without even setting foot in her disease-ridden presence.

Oh yeah, that's the stuff... sorry, Pol, I seemed to have drooled all over your top. Here, let me just wipe it off for you

Well, the menkul continues apace - have had not one drop of PP in 12 hours and my temp has shot sky-high again, but when I wiped just now, after the loo, there was some blood. And all the while, I'm really crampy; of a strength and pain level massively disproportionate to what's coming out.

Have to go to town for some last min things and do lots of housework and going-away preparations but just want to lie on sofa and get stuck into my box of special Xmas choccy till TYF comes home and finds me laid there bloated, with puffy, tearful eyes and dried chocolate smeared all over my face as I cradle a cushion in my arms like it's a baby.

As per usual, etc., etc.

Can someone else go menkul? I'm so lonely here in my crazy

Right only 20-odd posts left, so let's get the new name sorted:

30s TTC - Christmas and New Year, the BESH time to win a baybee

30s TTC - The BESH who stole Christmas!

30s TTC - here's to the BESH new year ever - where's my goddamm babybee?

30s TTC - We BESH you a Merry Jizzmas and a droid-free new year!

30s TTC - The one with a new decade, and a baybee for every BESH

30s TTC - Away in a palace, no BESH goes to bed, until the baybee Jebus grants our wish to get diffed

Excuse the bad rhyming!

Thanks, VAG - can we dress Dr Cox up as Rudolph and ride him round the palace (NOT like that, you filthy-minded hoors!)... ?

PS Please to babywin yourself ASAP?

"Menkul"? You wanted menkul eh? Well I had a sex dream about BEN FOGLE last night - menkul!

lol @ Jizzmas!

Ben Fogle? Eughhhhhhhhh! Ski likes 'em posh and bland!

Curlique I like 'em all 'cept the one about the decade - the sepctre of waiting a whole decade is too awful. Mind you, I'm still depressed that the Xmas #1 was first released 17 years ago....and I remember it then too. Am so old. Sooooooo ooooooooooold.

Right, that's it - am definitely buying myself a mini-skirt at lunchtime and to heck with the suggestion that it's muttony.

Soooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooold.

"sepctre"? What is?

I'm bored. Pom de pom.

Would the youthful miniskirt be offset in a bad way by the purchase of some comfy fitflop boots? Am torn. They look so warm and comfy and yet are pig-ugly as Fuggs.

VAG He won me over with his being able to reason with all those plebs on't island and his unwavering love for his dog. My favourite ever quality in a man is dog-love. I does fancy well-built poshos with manners... hence I'm the proud owner of a Glaswegian. Where did I go wrong?

As far as muttony goes, I dare you to take a trip to NL - then you'll find out what muttony really is! You see an "older" lady shopping in Miss Selfridge and you think maybe she's shopping for her grand daughter? Silly you, she will turn to reveal that she's wearing 1kg of make-up, a lycra pattered dress, coloured fishies and platforms. The Dutch embrace muttony.

Mini-skirt + Fuggs? As described last weekend by my 14 year old cousin as "you don't look hot, you look like a weather-confused slut".

Right, It's going to have to be Jizzmas... I'm off to get the builders started on the new palace, where Secret Santa will deliver to EVERYONE!

Oh ignore her VAG, she's 14 and is an "emo" - or "emu" as jailbait calls her. She also lives in Vancouver and has been given FREE tickets for the winter olympics but can't be arsed to go because it's not cool. She also whines to me that her dad (my cousin) won't let her alone in her room with her boyfriend... despite her stories about how she's the only virgin left in town. We have all of this to look forward to!

done

What if.....I'm going to Scandinavia for Christmas and therefore have a legit reason for requiring warm feet, also I walk a lot and could change footwear when something more elegant is required?

Emu - love it!

See y'all at The New Palace! I'm escorting Dr Cox over, someone get David and Bill to wheel the mobile bar across, will you? Scorps - come out of the Pit! - there'll be a lovely new Pit at the next thread!