30s TTC - More Gin Than George BESH

[Scorpette]

Come on in ladies, the bar is fully stocked with Advocaat, Bailey's and novelty Xmas drinkies and the slaves are wearing Ann Summer 'Santa's Hat' posing pouches. Have also festooned the place with plenty of festive tat and lots of v un-eco and tacky Xmas lights and shit because I know we all love getting Xmassy dead early. There's a fireplace so you can send your wish list to Santa up the chimbley, platters of wooden spoons and coconuts on the mantlepiece and 'Mulled Wine' scented candles lighting up The Pit of Despair. Make yourselves at home!

Best knickers, white jeans. Job done.

Like you said, cunty, we're all entitled to self-obsession as we deal with this bullshit ttc journey. Roll on 2010 and a lovely new start.

Camel is always the voice of reason

FUCK IT! Here I am, all 'no more pink panther, huzzah!' and then the bastard has returned more strongly a min ago. Ah well, the self-delusion was fun whilst it lasted. For once, I genuinely want BOOZE...

I have Jack Daniels, bunch of wines, port, (I'd love a cordial of port right now) some tequila, rum, or vodka. Plus if you want something else, there's a fucking bar in this gin palace, ya know! Can't you just bury your head in the sand until good news happens Scorp?!? I'm not giving up hope yet for you!!!

Well, no more Pink Panther since the above mini-rant and my temp this morning was my highest yet this luteal phase! Have bored myself with the whole 'Is it? Isn't it?' crap and will just try and go with the flow (or NOT, hopefully). It is so bloody menkulising having pre-menstrual signs that are exactly the same as freshly-diffed ones - even have bleeding gums now

Good news Scorps. And very sorry I credited wrong person with your great ideas of moshing/cunt-kicking. Have a karate chop to the throat and a raspberry truffle to make up for it.

Last night was FABULOUS, but didn't get to do any cunt-kicking. Fortunately for her, SIL and her partner had seated tickets and we were downstairs in the thick of it. Such a good night, I am still buzzing (if bloody knackered). I did tell TG about the CK-ing suggestions which he thought was fucking funny!

Ooh I'm in a good mood today. Great night + beautiful frosty day = happy Poo. Think I might take dog out for a bracing walk.

Who is next in line to POAS?

Bleeding gums was my very first diffed sign and appeared at least a week before druid was due

Has gin revealed how far along she is? They won't see shiz on a screen before 5 weeks...

Also, fact fans, implantation bleeding can go on for days, depending on the individual. I also got blood-like stuff when Hombre started poking around my cervix with his fruity lolly and it looked like pinky-brown nonsense. So there - stop pigging around in your faff and just leave it alone

Exactly cunty. I had two separate episodes of imp bleed. One before droid due date and later which sent me running to the GP in panic. And that one was truly pink..
Glad things are going "differently" to usual scorps and the high temp sounds good

Managed to get two house viewings today Maybe we will get a new house before July...

Have also taken myself out to get a (budget) dress for tonight's do. Rather slimming and half-price = happy Casp. Of course, the mini cheese and pickle pork pies also put a on my face...

"poking around my cervix with his fruity lolly"? I'm never having sex again, not with that image firmly ensconced in my brain.

Thanks for the menkulism-stoking, laydeez Clean gusset so far today and I'm wearing new white pants just to taunt it! However, I have a bit of gingivitis from now and then so am dismissing that particular symptom. But am feeling v nauseous again and it started up at exact same time as yesterday (and I ate at different times today and yesterday, so can't be an apres-lunch thing. Or probably not).

Although I now have a horrible image of Cunty's bloke having a Calippo for a cock... [post traumatic stress disorder emoticom]

(Well, at least it's not a Strawberry Mivvi)

Did I miss a chance for violence? Damn.

No news to report here. My hormone levels still aren't quite down. I got a very faint line with a Superdrug test, finally understand the menkulism over faint lines as you try to work out if it's a line or just a shadow. I am impatient for things to get back to normal so I can start with some quality menkulism of my own.

It's not a fruity lolly? That's what he told me it was, but on reflection I've never found it particularly thirst quenching now you mention it. Gah I'm so gullible

For the record it only looks like a Calippo when he pops the empty toilet roll onto it

at cunty

Well I'm just happy we've been cleared for sex again, but not before a lecture about "contamination" i.e. bumsex before foofoo sex!

Doc, I have some BESHlets for you to meet...

Muser, I thought my current weird state was menkulising, but I take my hat off to you - that sounds like an absolute mindfuck! What does your Dr say? Are you diffed? What's going on?! Poor, poor you Hope everything sorts itself out one way or another... hopefully the way of the faint line

Not only do I have a vision of Cunty's man and his ice-lolly hoohaa (bit salty, is it Luv?) but now I have a vision of air traffic controllers guiding Shinycunt's man into her hairy hangar, seeing as they are 'cleared for sex', ie like a plane is cleared to land Well, I guess they need the help in order to avoid Mr Hankey's Hole...

Look, I'm counting this dire downturn in my puns and double entendres as a new symptom, mmmkay?

Talking of which

Have to say, scorp's post above is probably one of the funniest I've read on MN ever.

petta remind me, how many days post ov are you (by your calcs?). But, having definately scratched my fluffy with my fingernails right at t'beginning of all this, everyone's right - get yer fingers outta yer fanny, lass.

americanlaydee great news but I am just trying to imagine your faces when you were sitting in that doctor's office with them telling you that, presumably all serious-like.

muser Just wanted to say I've been thinking about you and hope everything settles down soon xx

Oh, it's not really my fingers, just doing myself a mischief with bog roll wadded up to be a bit pointy Too prim to finger (all fingering jokes are just that: jokes) and also, is easier to see things on white bog roll. Just call me Kay Scorpetta, Forensic Gusset Scientist!

No more PP (writing this thus ensures a ruined gusset upon next visit to toilet), but feel a bit bleeuh in me down below, which is probably sign of normal spotting kicking in tomorrow. However, have spent most of night laid around groaning with nausea or doing housework and groaning with nausea or eating and groaning with nausea. Grump.

PS Hope you were laughing with me, not at me

scorp bless you.

Which cycle day are you on?

I'm deffo not diffed Scorps. Just taking a while for my hormone levels to drop off. Have gone from instant strong lines and 2-3 weeks on a cbd, to 1-2 weeks, and now the very faint line. I'll probably end up with droid for Christmas Day. Gah.

Poor you, Muser. Droid is due for me on Xmas Day or Xmas Eve. Festive Flooding is NOT good fun, but especially not for you

Carrots, am DPO8/9 (me and fertility friend have fallen out on this I can tell it's DPO9, FF says 8). So CD23 - cycle length usually 36-28 days and would normally be seeing proper pink panther by now Am feeling more 'grumbletum' now (which is what I call droid machinations) but TYF keeps being v optimistic, saying it could be good news, as how many different sensations can one small organ create? Good point... I hope.

Sorry to everyone, am really menkulising this 2WOOFL. If it's any consolation, it's as boring to me as it is to you lot!

Muser Our cunty had a terrible time earlier in the year after a babyfail trying to get her stick to read negative and as I remember it, it seemed to take an awfully long time. She immediately re-diffed though. Best of luck to you, it'll all come right in the end. Have you considered sticking a twisted piece of white bog roll up your foofoo hourly for a week? c.f., Scorps

It's every two hours Ski, not one - what kind of menkul do you take me for?

Scorps Do you POAS? I mean I'm amazed you don't do the ebay cheapie ones. Enquiring minds need to know.