Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic>

[triggerhappybaby]

We've taken delivery of a fine new sofa. Come and rest here

"BTW Skate haven't checked so may be being neurotic, (if so forgive me), but is your FB page blocked to all except the palace dwellers. "

Absolutely, friends only. The palace is secure! I dont want my RL friends realising I'm TTC.

Well done on the new job extreme. You rock!! When do you start? This calls for a toast. I'll open the wine.

Curly I feel your pain. Welcome to my world! Other peoples babies also tend to be the only photos I add to FB these days. Arse.

Skate the jobs not mine yet, but we could have a little drinkie to celebrate ALMOST having a job!

Methinks VAG protests too much about the dildocam

Seriously, though, good luck with your appointment. Can I be naughty and ask a proper conception qu. - are people going for checks to see if levels of this and that are okay because they suspect they might have issues/probs or their Docs have recommended it, or are people going for tests just as a matter of routine cos they is BESHes? If the latter, should I go see my Dr? I did ask the nurse if I needed a conception check now TTC was happening, when she gave me the world's most agonising smear test a few months ago and she said based on my answers everything sounded okay and I shouldn't worry (easy for you, Nurse RAINBOW. Yes, really. And oh, they couldn't read the smear for the 2nd fucking time. Magic).

Extreme, I watched that 'You Thick Teen Slappers Underage And Pregnant' show too. 'We started, like, trying for a baybee when I was, like, 14'. ARRRGH! I did see, however, that it took her and her chav-boyf 18 months to get knocked up, which at least reassured me that even teenyboppers can take a while to updiff. Good luck with the job. I have changed my mind about Sapphire and Steele - don't want to show any favouritism

Well, I'm 2WOOFLing like it's 1999 (God, I wish I had the youthful ovaries of 10 yrs ago ). Have reached levels of momentarily wondering if feeling sick after reading on bus was morning sickness and not just clearly feeling sick after, erm, reading on the bus. Twat.

skater i'm not sure you are that invisible on FB

i deleted you in a panic this morning as my lover said on the phone "i see you've joined the gin palace girls on facebook"

you popped up as a friend suggestion for him

any chance you can be a leetle bit more discreet????

chEGGS Your lurveur needs to go to his friend suggestions and then delete skater as a suggested friend. It shouldn't suggest her again. I don't think there's anything in security settings that allow someone to opt out of being suggested to other people, although there should be If she's your friend on there, then it'll suggest her to your other friends, simple as that. They won't, however, be able to see any of Gin's details or our comments, etc.

Scorp I only bothered the lovelies at the NHS when I had been without contraception (read between the lines) for a year. I was advised that usually once you get into the testing process you get a BFP without even tryng. Not my experience, but hey- worth shot!

not bothered about my lover at all. he was just the one who pointed it out to me.

just don't really want any association with this place.

was just suggesting that maybe her pseudonym could be a little less obvious (googleable) .... ??

lol @ denying association with this old whorehouse... gin palace? nooooooo don't even like the stuff...

yes. i'm deeply ashamed of you all

sorry for derailing thread away from scorps legit question...

they reckon you should go for checks after 6 months of trying if you're past BOD.

especially if you are shagging with intent at the correct time of the month.

you're nowhere near that yet though are ya scorp??

don't forget for any normal cycle it's only 25% chance of getting updiffed anyway - so it's normal to take a little while .....

Have you been reading a book chEGGS?

Hello fabulous gin drinkers

I did join this thread about a life time ago but found you all far too quick witted for me and i'm also deeply ashamed that i'm a Cath Kidston lover so became a Gin Palace lurker. But your posts have me spitting coffee over my monitor on a regular bases

Also went a bit quiet as we finally had an IUI at the fertility clinic. (We're a pair of lezza's and after having numerous months of us having one of our best mates having a wank in the bathroom and us giving it our best go with a turkey baster, we got some professional help and some very expensive jism from a very helpful european sperm bank and it bloody well worked) I'm now 15 weeks updiffed, which goes to prove that spending 15 years fueling your body on marlboro lights, large lattes and your own body weight in wine doesnt stop you getting updiffed

Anyway while the rest of the world mumsnet is cooing and gushing and i have been strugglingadjusting to a world without Rose wine this thread has been a life line so was wondering if i could re-join you ladies and i will attempt to keep up with whats going on (my brain has turned to mush since being updiffed)

I still have two cats and the walls are still white? Any other criteria?

Oh and i always preferred the term fanny snot over CM

makingmenjizzincups Congratulations and welcome back! Can lesbians provide secret straight crush instead of secret lezzy crush? How old are you... and how many fags/drinks have you been consuming?

a real life pregnant lesbian!

I'm afraid I think nocoffee drank the last of the fruit punch but welcome back and put you feet up on this Pouffe

gah.

AAAANYWAAAAY - that's a real result ski - that's karma in full flow that is

Secret straight crush must be Sean out of Eastenders (for admitting to be being an Eastenders fan)

Embarrasing lezza crush is Sharon Osbourne

31, but started everything far too young so feel that qualifies me?!

At worst was a 40 fags a day girlie but cut right back before treatment and most meals in our house had a bottle of wine with them, if not two and that was just week nights. If it happened for me it can happen for anyone

Ski that sounds like a fantastic case of Karma

Crossed posts trig

Soooo... tell us about the super-sperm, I'm dealing with shoddy manfat I fear - because clearly it's not my ancient eggs.

I don't know who this Sean is - I shall google.

Is Sean the ginger mental? Everyone I know seems to fancy him.

Hello makingafamily! This whole European super-jizz things sounds intriguing. Is that what you were hoping for with jailbait, ski, or is he a Brit? Wait a minute... Sharon Osbourne? We needn't ask where you stand on the whole silver fox/barely legal debate then, huh?

Is there a skiing thread? I spend so long in AIBU pissing myself laughing at people working themselves up into a tizzy over someone else's baby not having non-organic carrot sticks that I forget to explore MN further. Oh well - at least I know about the coolest place to be on MN, right?

Hi-Five, Gang!

Sorry, turned into an American there Aaaah, that's better. Get those fucking hands away from me!

Maf I am the resident non-smoker, non-drinker and non-havingfunner - does this jinx me under your rules? Also, what size judgey pants do you favour and what things are most likely to make you pull 'em on? As Captain Judgeypants, I require such knowledge for my files.

I am also the resident waffler

Is it my armpits again ski?

scorpette you are quite quite mad.

Scorpette Sharon may be my secret crush but technically i'm knocked up by a 22 year old It was young european super jizz! Ski So i beat you on the jailbait manfat front

Getting the Eurojizz was really easy actually, you pay 100 Euro's to access all donors and get lots of info, likes/dislikes, medical history, family history, personal letter, personality tests blah blah blah so me and the misses settled down with the laptop and a bottle of bubbly and picked the one with the cute baby picture

Scorpette I am also a non smoker and drinker now, although does it count if you've stopped because of updiffedness??

Hmmm Judgeypantsness? Prior to trying to getting knocked up i was the least judgey person i know, as a social worker it made my life easier, where as the misses will pretty much judged anyone who's not her Now, my favorite soap box subjects are numerous teenagers who have WEEKLY pregnancy scares and are on first name terms with the staff at the clap clinic and families that moan they are expected to live on the small amount the government pays them whilst affording to smoke 40 fags a day. I think i need a career change

and yep Sean is the ginger nutter!

Trig - I'm clearly wearing my 'Fuck Off, I'm TWOOFLing' hat, so any lunacy is allowed.

Talking of 2/TWOOFL, can I ask all the ladies who are, or who have experienced, updiffing, a qu? (I'm balancing out the serious qu's with madness, gimme a break)

Am getting a really strong sensation in me womb (baby hammock?) since yesterday - like powerful period cramps but with no pain. In fact, it's a bit like how you keep contracting inside for a while after a good orgasm. Could this be a sign of updiff? Or of plain old 2WOOFL? No other symptom, but I do feel different, IYKWIM (aaargh, can't believe I just wrote that). If diffing occurred, then it would prolly have been Fri/Sat.

The craziness - make eeeet stop!

Making Yep, those sound like excellent judging topics. My own judgey pants quivered disapprovingly as I read.

"skater i'm not sure you are that invisible on FB... you popped up as a friend suggestion for him shock....any chance you can be a leetle bit more discreet????"

I haven't sent any friend requests to any boys. Must be FB software suggesting me to him.

Congratulations makingafamily!

Congrats, MakingA. Does the father know anything about how his sperm is used; are you curious to know more about him? Can I use the anonymity of the web to ask another personal question - how did you and your missus decide which of you would carry the baby?

Hello preggalezza. Welcome back to the palace,please feel free to report any unwelcome fondling to mn hq. Ace news re the top quality manfat delivery. Incidentally,pant snot was one of my thoughts from my brain so am all proud you approve.

News from chez gin... I can't rejoin fucking facefuck as they still have my emails (both) linked to an account.even though I pulled the plug on said account.aaaaargh I WANT TO LOOK AT EVERYONE! [perv emoticon]

further to that,my boobs hurt ,but that could be cos I've had a toddler jumping on them and none of my bras fit.also I feel sick ooooooooo 2WOOFL you have rendered me twattish.

Also trig yup she's barking