Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic>

[triggerhappybaby]

We've taken delivery of a fine new sofa. Come and rest here

ginhag I am also very upset by several absolutely bollocksyshit things I've read on forums in the last 24 hours. I'm going to tell you one of them so you can all yell at me YABU (!) - OK, so there was a poll for "how much do you earn?" on just a regular message board. Anyway, 20% of the respondents came in at 50K plus - and many of them said "and my OH earns 90k" etc., etc. I was really surprised because these women come across as being of distinctly "average" intelligence - they are clearly NOT rocket scientists or brain surgeons. So I said "OK, what is it the high earners do?" because some of the low earners had been very candid e.g., "I work in admin for the council". Anyway, I logged off after 2 of them laid in to me with really sarky answers - and without revealing what they did for a living. AIBU to think it wouldn't matter if you said "I'm a lawyer", or "I strip at rugby dinner events"? I am but a sensitive flower... and embarking on 2WW... and need to tell my landlady I'm moving out - none of this bodes well.

I have told 2 people in RL that I am TTC. One is 5'11" and 8 stone and conceived first time both times. The other is 6' and 10 stone and conceived... first time both times. In fact the second time was a 20 minute bunk-up with her ex - the only sex she had in 3 years.

Don't worry about the cranky bitches Ski. They are probably Trustafarians that have a real issue with admitting it.

Please don't let us ever get involved in the wage game at the palace. We all get on so swimmingly!

I am angry today I hate RL!

I'm just stumbling in to lie on the floor cos I'm proper tired. Been doing silly mountain bike event this weekend and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to SWI again.

I'm now officially past the BOD. Yay.

I'll catch up properly later I just wanted to make sure there was a sofa left for me to stretch out on.

OOohh a new playground! Greetings Besh-Lushes! Glad to see we've carried the pit-of-angst over and managed to spill it into the bar area!

Right - who's for a Long Island Iced Tea? (Tea's a breakfast drink, right?)

Laurie join me (the resident teetotaller) on the sofa with that water - least we won't stain the white suede Now then, tell me: are you Cagney or Lacey? PS I would prolly tell your mum about the appointment, but that's just me. Hope the diff-luck works for you like it did for that other woman the Dr mentioned!

Agree that we should avoid the wage/cash debate on here... for the sake of me and extreme at the very least. The unifying factor here is that we're actually all trying to achieve something that'll stop us working and make us have a bit less cash for a short while at the very least (I'm talking about having babies, not going off for 6 months on a variety of exciting holidays, BTW ). Although ski, I can testify to the fact that, as the bints on that thread show, being well-educated counts for naught as regards getting high-paid jobs. Or indeed any type of decent job at all. Bitter, moi? Too fucking right I am.

And Ski telling RL folk you're TTC guarantees you will only hear tales of almost superhuman fertility that make you feel your ovaries withering with every word. Don't do it to yourself! A few months back, got chatting to a woman with tiny baby triplets at a train station and, seeing as I'd never see her again but we were getting on really well, I confided in her that me and TYF were going to TTC imminently. She then proceeded to tell me her husband had been away from work and they'd only had sex once on a rare wkend home, which was during her RTOD and that had resulted in the triplets. She was 43. Apart from the slight TMI , I didn't know whether to be inspired by her age and ease of updiffing or to just despair at the mega-fertility of others. Grrr.

Scorpette that's just shocking - and clearly she was lying and getting it up her every day at work from a handsome colleague - of course she had to come up with some bullshit story to tell her husband. And, on that vein - I once read a medical report which said condoms/pill ARE effective - and when push comes to shove - i.e., the women who claim "accidents" are interrogated thoroughly it transpires they "didn't put the condom on until the last minute", "didn't take a few pills" but are embarassed to admit it.

As far as wages go, read this (she is a native English seaker for the record) and seethe:
Employer:Corperate Companys; Banks and other Finacial Instistutes throughout asia.
Position:Excectutive Consultant in Assest Management, Investment consulting, FX & Money Markets.
Description:Fantasic job, Fantasic bonuses, Finacially rewarding, but very very demanding.

Ski - not being a career-BESH or mega ambitious, it hadn't fully occurred to me that so many of these women with miracle-fertility tales were just playing a bullshit oneupmanship game (DURR!). Am bit of an 'alternative', creative (lazy) type and friends are similar so we don't really go for that type of shit (don't worry, I don't have dreadlocks or own anything tie-dyed ). Have always been convinced that the old 'but we were using condoms/pill/whatever 100% properly' thing was crap and they'd just been useless/lazy/clueless, so that's good to have confirmed.

You know what? Have decided I couldn't give a shit about people with these ridiculously swanky jobs and megacash. I've got a lovely family (dysfunctional like everyone's, yes, but I wouldn't swap 'em for the world) and I am madly in love with my soulmate who is equally smitten with me. In the end that counts for a lot more than a top CV and a great bank balance.

Am having rare moment of being well-balanced and chilled-out

Scorpette I rather wish I had gone down the dreadlocked festival going route rather than trying to please everyone around me and satisfying exactly none of them. I rebelled last autumn though and got a very visible tattoo on my wrist. Take that THE MAN! I've never believed the pill/condom thing... I remember someone once telling me that she had to go for the MAP (we were schoolgirls) because they'd sat down to dinner and he'd looked down and realised the condom must've fallen off.

i) Who wears a condom and nothing else to dinner?
ii) Who doesn't take the condom off immediately after withdrawal? Anyone? Bueller?

Speaking of Bueller... jailbait saw Ferris Bueller's day off for the first time last week. Bless. He also thought The Breakfast Club was very good. I had to explain what "jellies" (shoes) were though.

As for cash, we are very poor but we love each other, I have two super dogs and a cuddly big horse. If I were to buy Laura Ashley cushions either i) the dogs would eat them or ii) I'd sit on them in my smelly breeches. My family are horrid & vile and for all my sister's money she's 33 and lives with my parents.

I yearn for your well-balanced and chilled-out. Does it involve gin?

Welcome back laurie!

ski I own some jellies - @£10 from Office, v comfy TYF had not seen Ferris Bueller until we started going out. He really loved it (also loved Pretty In Pink, though I'm not allowed to tell anyone that). He therefore understood why I was devastated at John Hughes dying t'other day

I'm only well-balanced and chilled-out for a few moments a year, worry not. No gin involved.

Afternoon all

chEGGs - good luck with the eggs - do let us know what / how it all happens might be useful knowledge give how barren and evil we are.

Skater - I want an Aga too when I grow up!

Loving the white sofa 2 black cats put pay to anything light coloured... pants but do think they are comedy.

Oh, I'd definitely be Cagney!

I was hoping you'd tell me to keep the TTC mallarkey to myself. How ridiculous at 37 to be nervous at telling my mother. She text me this morning to ask how I was & told me if my dizzy / sickness was a hangover she'd be very ashamed of me. Thing is I can feel her look of disapproval down the phone, and it WASN'T a hangover!!!

I've had nightmares telling my parents I'm PG - I may just ask well announce "the boyf & I had sex".

I also dreamt last night that Ulrika Johnson had died & that Anjelina was updiffed by a waiter.

Told you I poorly!

Laurie - don't tell your ma. There, is that better? Easy way to get round parents thinking you've had sex - start wearing a blue towel around your head in the fashion of school nativity plays and look dreamy and faraway at all times as you tell them you've been having some very vivid dreams about angels recently...

PS I think they know you're not a virgin by now!

But you're right - getting updiffed is like announcing to the world 'I HAVE HAD LOTS OF SEX' (or, if you're 15 and pg 'I can't remember exactly what happened at that party but I think I remember going into Kelly's bedroom with Big Gav') which doesn't seem embarrassing but somehow... distasteful. Or is that just me being dweadfully, dweadfully middle clarss? I know TYF already worries about his Grandmas knowing when the time comes (mainly cos one is so Catholic she makes the Pope look like Richard Dawkins) but I'm not about mine; one of her fave topics is what a redhot lover my Granddad was. She's not senile; he was a foxy hunk (looked like Paul Newman - this is the disabled Granddad BTW) and as she puts it 'I'm so bloody glad I've lived to see an era where women can stop pretending they've never had sex or that they didn't enjoy it. We used to have a cracking time right up until the cancer got too bad and if he was still alive we'd be at it right now'. Go Gran - the Ginger Ninja RULES

Soz, RTOD makes me even more waffly than usual

PS I'd like to be Cagney, but I'd probably be Lacey. Mind you, she had the kids, so it's swings and roundabouts. Hey, shall we be the C&L of the interwebnets, seeking out injustice against BESHes wheresoever we find it? We can both have DC, of course

ChEGGS Hope all has gone well. BUKAAAAHHHH!!!

I keep having hectic and intense dreams about pregnancy .... I keep dreaming I have a baby and I lose it or it turns into a hedgehog or something.

FUCK FUCK fucking fucking FUCK arse bollocks.

Have just discovered I have made another MASSIVE cock up at work.and I can't even go in and sort it til thurs as childminder on hol so have to wait til my mum comes to visit/babysit...

It's amazing we still have a fucking company at the moment.I actually feel like firing myself.or banging my head repeatedly on the floor.

Did anyone die? No? Well then it could be worse Big hug.

Cheers trig

you're right,it would be fairly hard for me to actually kill anyone thru general crapness at work...which is quite lucky actually as I think the death toll would be huge due to my utter fucking crapness and tiny blurry brain.

Anyone not depressed enough about being a BESH yet? Channel 5 news just did a feature on wimminz fertility - apparently after BOD we only have 52% chance of updiffing. 52%? FIFTY-FUCKING-TWO PERCENT?! They now reckon BOD is 30, not 35, so we're fucked. We at the Gin Palace might as well be those women getting dubious Gynaes to give us IVF at 70.

And when all these fucking experts are banging on about us all apparently being career-obsessed harpies putting it off because we think we're immortal (note: I am ), etc., where, pray tell, are the experts telling men to fucking grow up and not string women along with their 'not yet' bullshit because they want to stay little boys forever? I'm sure I'm not the only one on here who was with a guy for ages who kept saying he wanted kids but 'not yet' ad infinitum or whose current partner wanted to put things off for ages?

(Was with my Ex for 7 years, ages 26-33: kept telling me we'd have kids 'next year' - then the day before my 33rd birthday, I insisted he gave me a straight answer on the issue and he admitted he never wants to have kids but would never tell a woman as he knew he'd never get a girlfriend if he did! Said he thought if he just kept putting me off I'd go off the idea. I dumped him, of course. Fucking wanker)

Must... Have... Baby... [crazy woman emoticon]

I'm going to turn into one of those mentals out of that creepy documentary 'My Monkey Baby', aren't I?

Has anyone seen idealcamel since she had bad news and we moved threads?

Scorpette I think that's fair, of all the guys I know in their 30s about 2 really wanted to get married and did so straight out of university and the rest (dozens of them) led their WAGs a merry dance, refusing to move in or get engaged or get married - and when they were moved in/hitched, were in no rush to breed.

And zero sense of urgency - my friend's DH outlined his 10 year plan over dinner one night:

Him: Let's live in South America for a few years and learn Spanish... then do our MA's ...and then tour Europe in a camper van before we start a family!

Wife: Umm, by then I'll be 42.

Him: So?

Oh poor cameltoe Just been back to read

camel, love, come on, pull your slacks out of your front bottom and come and join us for a (special) brew xxx

Skater Unbelieveable!

I totally agree though - where are the articles saying "lad, you're 37, not 17, man the fuck up and grow a pair - those teenagers in the pub? They're staring at you because they think you're a creepy old man - not because they fancy you!"

My best work fuck-up: I was temping as a secretary during uni hols & working for the leccy company doing the Jubilee extension line. They gave me a list of initials to fax the document to, one set of initials came up twice on the Rolodex - I asked for clarification - they told me "it's not that hard, it's only a fax machine". It was a 50/50 and I'd tried phoning a friend... so I faxed. It cost them 4 million. They still told me I was the best temp they'd ever had - just how bad could the others have been?

camel's gone to France. think she'll know where to find us

and well yes ski, i may have been showing off about my clutch of 9, but they're dangerous places these petri dishes turns out only 2 managed to go the whole hog and become good enough quality.

extreme if i'd answered you this morning about how many they put back, i would've said one only - as that is what they have told us all along. although today very annoyingly they said so how many do you want back then? WTF!!! i (we) need weeks / months even to agonise over such a question, hours of googling pros and cons, many spreadsheets and graphs to make. we had 10 minutes today to decide

mr ivf made a decent enough case for putting 2 back to increase chances of a bfp and indeed recommended it based on "my age". he happily quippped if you were 27 i would strongly advise only one .....

anyway so now i have 2 blastocysts in my belly which will be "hatching" some time in the next 24 hours. hatching??!! who knew??

was all giddy and excited at the beginning but now a bit pensive since googling multiple births. it's not the highest probability (1 in 4) but still a chance. that aside i'm scared shitless of damaging the cargo. have been walking round like a bandaged mummy getting boy to pick things up for me. he'll be v. sick of that soon no doubt

at one point today, he says you'll have no nails left. couldn't help tittering as i pictured me, trig and gin all nibbling away. he had no clue

donttry - what did you tell your mates while you weren't getting slaughtered? did they know about your "condition"?

scorpette 7 years down the drain what a waste?

wildfig your house sounds gorgeous. hope you have a happy (and fruitful) time there.

anyway i'm off on travels again tomorrow, hence all the gibber ... so have a goood week girlies - and i'll try'n log on if i can.

cheers!

Bye cheggs!

Hey cheggers I was hoping you'd pop in the palace before you left. Will be thinking of you (in a non stalkerish way) while you're on hols...I also have a bit of your thumbnail lodged in my tooth

maybe avoid google until you know where you's at eh???

Fingers n any other available bits crossed for you mate.have a big hug (I've been drinking,so it's allowed)

I was also going to report that camel is in la belle France,so call of the search party!she's back in 2 weeks.

Am still mighty fucked off.ski's tale was v v funny and made me crack a smile....sadly I will only really be costing me money if this fuck up is really fucked up