TTC#1 taking longer than expected... support group

[Angie2018]

So I thought I'd start a group for anyone like me who just has had a bit of a bumpy ride TTC baby number 1 and is looking for others who understand how that feels and want to hang out until we get our BFPs!

Cycle #7 for us, one chemical pregnancy cycle 5, and wondering if we even have a chance through this heatwave and what it does to sperm 🙈

Looking forward to chatting ❤️‍🩹

@Essexgalttc omg yes I get you! My friend told me today she's going to start TTC in a couple of months when she moves into her house. I actually was like (in my head) I pray I conceive first or it will CRIPPLE me to hear she's just started TTC and it happened fast for her and I am still waiting. Obviously I am happy for her and will be if she conceives fast but doesn't make it easy on me. So I hear you! Although your scenario sounds so hard, I am sooooo sorry that happened to you. Just remember it only takes one. Did you BD on O day or two days before at all? We BD'd loads so I know we have that covered but I just don't think it's going to happen for a few months. Yep it's a killer and I am so fed up of it!!

@Angie2018 I definitely relate to this! An ex friend who made incentive remarks towards my loss ended up conceiving pretty soon after my loss and I remember when she told me she was ttc I hoped I’d get pregnant before she conceived but she messaged me the other day “I hope you’re having a good day… I’m pregnant” not sure why she felt the need to tell me other than to rub it in my face.

Twins due date is October 20th and me and DH are hoping we see a positive before then other wise I know I’ll be stressing if the due date has been and gone and I’m still not pregnant

We did BD twice during fertile window, so I know deep down there is a chance but I’m not confident

@Essexgalttc omg I also had an ex friend message me about 6 weeks ago to ask me if I was ever going to have children and that she was 8 weeks pregnant. It hurt so badly. But it will hurt more if my close friend starts trying in 2-3 months and conceives before me. That will hurt a lot. Part of me hopes I get my BFP in the next 3 months and she follows a bit after me. I would love to be pregnant at the same time as her, as I love her she's amazing but it wouldn't stop me dying inside if she caught first after me trying for months. I really really hope you catch this month!! And defo before your original due date!! Twice is enough!! I think we BD like 5 times during my fertile window as we are doing SMEP but I still don't feel hopeful. I ovulated from my left ovary this time, although the following morning I had pains from my right ovary too. The left were worse so I am sure it was from the left. The left ovary is the one I conceived from two months ago that ended in a chemical pregnancy. So half of me is hopeful that maybe it's a good egg from this one this time? And the other half isn't hopeful because the left ovary has a 4% less chance resulting in pregnancy according to stats. I don't know, I really don't know whether to be hopeful or just tell myself it won't happen x

@Angie2018 I just hate how incentive people are! Ex friends for a reason aren’t they
I got married 2 weeks after we lost twins and so many people asked when we would have children which was hard as we literally just had the loss!
I’ve had that too, a scan to confirm I’ve ovulated from left ovary but my right one also hurts too!
Fingers crossed for us both this month
Will you be testing early or waiting until AF due?

@Essexgalttc yeah totally! It's as if people think they have the right to ask and to know the answer to such a personal thing!! Like it's so personal! And such a sensitive subject!! You have no idea what people go through.... how do you know if someone has not just lost a baby? I would never actually ask anyone of child bearing age if they are going to have children?! It's rude! Oh was that this month?? Or when you fell pregnant with twins? I will wait for a missed period I think I can hack the disappointment!! I don't think we've been lucky this time. I normally know AF is due by 7dpo so by Sunday I should be having my normal pre AF signs. If I don't then I'll be slightly more hopeful. What about you? When is AF due?

@Angie2018 100% agree it’s such a sensitive subject
I’m due AF 1st August
I’m planning to wait until then unless I get any symptoms then might do a sneaky one a day or two before

@Essexgalttc ah you are due a day after me! I think I am due between the 30th / 31st. I ovulated very very late at night on CD11, almost at midnight so right in between CD11&12. So I don't know which day AF will fall on. Probs 31st morning I reckon. Il just wait for a missed period I think. The thought of a BFN I can't bare. I'd rather AF than a BFN!!

@Angie2018 happy 5dpo!! Lol it's my ovulation day (I think) my ovary pain has faded so hopefully it was last night/this morning💃🏻 AF is due 3 august for me so hopefully there's a nice few bfps here🥰 yes Consultant is happy, I had a 24mm follicle hopefully containing a mature egg lol. Out of interest, how do you determine the exact moment you ovulated?? That's cool xx

@Harper02 oh that's amazing!! Hopefully you catch this month!! Has your husband been tested as well? Haha thank you! I am still not convinced tbh. I just had lightning crotch which I never get this early and am having some odd cramps but it's likely progesterone related. So I think ovulation for me is when I feel the pain, because it's normally 20-24 hours after my peak and the next day I get a temp shift. I can't be certain it's exactly when I feel pain but it's 100% within 10 hours of it due to my temp shift afterwards. I just want to get that BFP to stop stressing about TTC it's draining right!! Xx

@Angie2018 yes he was tested earlier this year, all fab results thankfully🙏🏻 I was more nervous than him tbh lol what about yours?
Ohh that's so interesting. I defo felt ovulation this month too!! It was almost burny🤔🤔 I'd love to stop stressing about TTC too! I'd rather be stressing about pregnancy lol time to keep our minds busy😫😫 xx

@Harper02 oh that's amazing!! I can imagine it's all very nerve wracking!! My OH hasn't been tested no, but he's got two teenage children so I am not overly worried. I've also been pregnant twice when I was younger & we've both had a chemical pregnancy together recently so I just hope it's that we haven't tried for long enough. Oh that's really good, I like getting ovulation pains as I know I'm ovulating 🤣🤣 I agree of rather be stressing about pregnancy too! I know it's so hard to forget though xx

I was also curious to know how you knew exactly when you ovulated! I don't seem to get those pains, or maybe I don't notice them. Definitely need to pay more attention to them this month. Cd6 for me today and already have a flashing smiley!! I know it's the solid that's most important as that's the peak but I still worry every month that this is super early and the eggs aren't mature enough this early. I never have more than 3 days of flashing smileys so expecting to have my peak either cd 8 or 9 again this month 😔

@Magix86 I always know because I get 5 days of EWCM and it's normally on the 5th day, which is the day after my peak and I get the one sided pain. The next morning my temp rises to confirm. I think it Varys from woman to woman though. Are you temping? Because when you get your peak smiley you won't ovulate for another day or two, so if you get a peak on CD8 or 9, you will ovulate day 10 or 11 which is fine!

@Angie2018 you know your body so well! I don't temp as I feel it would stress me out even more and I'm inconsistent with what time I get up each morning lol. I'm hoping I get just a couple more flashing smileys, just to prolong it by a day or 2 and make me feel a bit more hopeful. I think last cycle I actually got EWCM like 4/5 days after my peak which was confusing!

@Magix86 I do but it doesn't always go in my favour because so over think and I know too much!! I've only temped for two cycles, and used OPKs for two cycles and it's only really confirmed what I already knew, however with the temping I like it because ovulation is confirmed 100% so that makes me feel better and also I can almost get an early in site from 10dpo that AF is coming. I don't always get up at the same time but I still temp and it still works! That is confusing! Maybe you had delayed ovulation??

I don't temp either just go by the ewcm the ovulation test and then I normally get either my right r left side pain. I'm a real worrier so I play alot of attention to aches and pains so whenever I get that patricular ache along side the postive ovulation test i know it's go time.

The more I think about it the more I think we have stopped trying a bit early each cycle...will pay more attention to my body, keep going with the OPK's and dtd for a few more days after we usually would! See what happens this time.

@Xtina1986 yeah same! I get a bit disappointed if my pain isn't that strong as I'm worried the egg isn't as good!!

@Magix86 that is a common issue tbh.... many people get timings wrong and stop too early. Defo keep DTD a bit longer to cover all bases x

Haha yes! I think in the beginning we were doing it too late...then started the OPK's and realised I ovulate much earlier than I thought...and now think we are definitely doing it early enough but just not for long enough 😅 we'll get there at some point!

@Magix86 if in doubt just DTD every other day for your whole cycle & that should cover it!!

Weirdly enough I ovulated (confirmed by OPK) but didn’t get usual EWCM. I’m wondering if my ovulation failed and I’ll ovulate again at some point the weekend. I’ve heard that can be a thing sometimes?

Although I did get my usual ovulation pain

Me and DH BD every 2 days from the day after the last day of my period up until about 4 days before AF is due to cover all bases

I know some people recommended every day during fertile window but we both don’t have enough effort / sex drive for that!

Does anyone take pre-conception vitamins? I’m currently taking seven seas

@Essexgalttc ovulation Wouk normally occur 24-48 hours after a positive OPK, so you may find ovulation is pending? Also EWCM doesn't mean you haven't ovulated, it just may mean there was less there and so hasn't come out. Ovulation may have failed and may be attempted again though. Do you temp? That's the only way to confirm ovulation. Or by bloods. Ovulation pain would signal you have ovulated though. Sounds like either way you BD enough so should be fine!

I take pregnacare conception and also CoQ10, evening primrose oil up to ovulation, vitamin C & D and additional folate.

EWCM can also be affected by how much water etc you drink and in the recent temperatures your body may just be a bit more dehydrated than usual, so maybe less EWCM?

Vitamin wise I take high strength vitamin B complex (which includes folic acid), starflower oil up to ovulation, vitamin b6 after ovulation, iron (vegan so generally needed), vit C, vit D, magnesium, ubiquinol and vegan omega 3... Think that's it 😂 DH is on proxeed plus

Oh I never knew that about EWCM!!! That's so good to know because I had slightly less this month even though had 5 days of it. I wonder if it was because I was drinking so much water!!

That's loads of supplements and does should like you are covering yourselves really well!!