TTC 35+ thread 11

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread! I dunno how to tag everyone from the other thread 🤣

i don't know @Misty84 - im depressed but i guess i ran out of tears. i don't know how to explain my state of mind - it's like...a convicted murderer waiting for my execution perhaps? I accepted my fate but probably prefer a better customer service whilst im on death row? no idea. i decided to do another round of letrozole and panicked a little when i had my med 30 min later than my usual time.

yesterday i told my OH that perhaps it's ok if we do not have a kid. i mean - it's me who wants it and i don't know if i want my daughter to go through what i am going through etc.

Hi ladies,

Wanted to check in and see how you are all doing. It's been a minute.

I wanted to come and send you all some positivity, strength, patience and some baby dust. I know what you are all going through and it's hard, and you are all heros for giving it all you have, and bearing through all the ups and especially the downs.

Truly miss coming on and chatting with you all.

Please remember to take care of your mental health and know that it's totally ok to feel deflated.

Thinking of you all ❤️

@KatRee - thanks! Have first of three consultations on Wednesday so will ask them then re tests 🙂

@Misty84 @AnxiousWannabe so sad to read that you are feeling so down. This TTC gig is so tough. No particular wisdom just sending lots of love xx

@VixFromThe6ix you're always so sweet! How are you getting on?! 😀

@VixFromThe6ix hey, hope you’re well!

I just got back from the dna sperm fragmentation results. Really good news that it’s improved, was 9% motility before, now 26% and morphology went from 2.5% in March to 8%! Also no oxidative stress damage of note, and his fragmented DNA was good. He has 59% normal levels of fragmentation and that’s very good for his age apparently, and 0% high levels of fragmentation. Even the sperm donors he showed us for comparison have 0-4% high levels of damage so we’re really pleased.

The last few weeks have been horrible and we’ve both lost the will but one good result makes it feel better. Now if we don’t have fertilisation it might be my fault, of course...........😐

Frustrating that we’ve lost the opportunity to try ovulation induction because of so much lost time to urologist holidays and mmr jabs. Husband will be moving to Cornwall at the end of August probably but hey ho, I’ll hand over the 10k I guess and hope it works.

@thislittlebird aah, I see. I asked my clinic about rubella testing this morning and they said they don't routinely test for it. Not sure whether to be worried or not 😕
Great news about the sperm! Must be frustrating to wait when you are so ready to get on with it. Gives you time to prepare though- I wanted to move to the advanced ISWTE plan and try acupuncture and everything in the 3 months leading up to ivf, but doctor thinks given my results I need to get going straightaway. Don't think I'll even be double jabbed against COVID when we start.
Despite that I'm kind of looking at the first cycle as an expensive experiment like @Misty84. @AnxiousWannabe for the first cycle I'm trying to just think of it as a learning experience and keep stress levels as low as possible by minimising travel and stuff like that, so totally understand your reasons for your choice of clinic and think they are good ones. I also haven't had much opportunity to speak to doctor and expect I'll be put on a standard protocol for my AMH- will find out more at nurses consultation tomorrow

@VixFromThe6ix Thanks for checking in- how are you getting on?

It's been a while since we had any BFPs- sometimes I think anyone who looks at this forum would think ttc over 35 only happens through IVF, but we had so many successes a few months ago and the only ones of us left are those who have are still struggling through pure bad luck

Hugs for everyone who's feeling it today 🌸 🌺 🌻

@thislittlebird that's a great result on your husband's SA! If you don't mind my asking, how did he improve his results? My husband's all looked good apart from morphology which was 2%. He's running, taking vitamins, not drinking coffee, alcohol, doesn't smoke... but the running and diet has only come recently so be a while before we see the improvement I guess! Great news again on your results - one less thing to worry about 🙂

@thislittlebird maybe him getting the job is the start of good things to come for you - I really hope so! Great news about guys too. Brilliant about the spark fragmentation results

@KatRee woah a grandma! That's scary at this age

I'm just plodding along here not doing a lot, cut right down on supplements Incase that's why I'm having the long cycles and just waiting for my gynae appointment. I'm cd31 and 4dpo pretty much given up on everything and now starting to panic that they'll not help me and just tell me to keep trying!

@KatRee mine didn’t test but I think you could pay for them to test if you wanted, but my GP did it when I asked. Along with all the other screenings like HIV, Hep B and C etc.

I’m getting back on the supplements today, I’ve been very unmotivated for a couple of weeks or more. It feels like constant battling of curve balls and never any progress but today was a relief, motivated me slightly.

I think I’ll be doing similar wrt the experimental first round. I’ll pay for two, that way we have a second go if the first goes tits up.

I think the same thing about the number of us going for ivf here. Feels like everyone else has graduated or aren’t here anymore and anyone putting their head in would despair lol. We’re definitely the exception not the rule. Lucky us

@ElsieG3m his lifestyle is ok but he has plantar fasciitis so is limited on exercise, but the main thing seems to be taking impryl and ubiquinol since March. He takes other supplements too but I’m guessing those ones he’s been on consistently have done the job.

@Marvellouslymadmum i really hope so, we’ve had the shittiest run of this and we need some good luck.

Good plan, take a supplement break and see what happens. They can definitely have an impact. I’m pretty sure with DH’s latest results the nhs will tell us to go jump, but we shall see when they finally get round to seeing us. Sometime in the next decade lol

@ElsieG3m oh and another thing I forgot: daily ejaculation.

@thislittlebird I have heard that sometimes with sub optimal swimmers it's better to ejaculate more rather than every other day like the previous research said

@Marvellouslymadmum yes, I read the second ejaculate of the day can produce better results for men with poor sperm too which is....excessive lol. But whatever works!

Completely agree with your paragraph about exception not the rule @thislittlebird, and anyone popping in would despair! Why us hey?! I’m desperate to graduate!!

I feel better now that I’m out of the fertile window. I’m always a complete nightmare during that time, neurotically examining opks/ temp/ cm/ my apps, and stressing that I’m not dtd enough or at the right time. I put SO much pressure on myself and OH, it’s awful. This is my last tww before ivf so I’m just relaxed now and we’re going on holiday next week (New Forest then Devon, can’t wait!) so there’s nothing more I can do for now and that’s a relief!!

@thislittlebird thanks so much, that's really helpful. What is impryl? Is it a brand name? I haven't heard of it! Any idea of optimal doses? And wowsers I hadn't heard the every day thing either - grief not sure how we'll manage that. He might have to take care of himself 😂 is that just during fertile window or all month??!!

@ElsieG3m oh no, every bloody day. It’s something about refreshing the supply and not being given an opportunity for oxidative stress to do damage etc. No way am I involved in all this lmao, he’s on his own, much less stressful that way.

This is Impryl www.fertilityfamily.co.uk/impryl/

It’s just a selection of vitamins/supplements really, but obviously they’ve worked out the balance or quantity. It’s one tablet per day for three months plus. Not cheap but they deliver very fast by courier and it’s in lovely blue tissue paper lol. It really did take three months for his SA to improve. Women can take it too, I am tempted. I have two months now until ivf, don’t know whether to just stick to what I’m on or try it.

@Misty84 I know what you mean. I’m kind of relieved I can’t put myself through that pre-ivf. I know it would have given us two extra chances in theory but I can’t say I’m upset I don’t have to think about it, worry about dtd etc. Your holiday sounds lovely, love the New Forest. After our stressful holiday I’m going to book us a spa day (minus jacuzzis) to have a massage etc before he leaves for his new job.

@thislittlebird tissue paper 😂 love it! They could sell me anything in nice packaging. We spoke to the embryologist in Cambridge last week and he also recommended lycopene which they've added to wellman but only in a small amount. I've thrown money at zita west as it's a larger dose of that and everything else so hopefully that will help to improve things too. It occurs naturally in tomatoes so OH is eating those faster than they're going out of fashion! In all honesty not sure his sperm is the issue rather than my adhesions/endometriosis and prolapse. The embryologist said we still have a shot at natural fertility even with low morphology but not sure how if they can't even get to the eggs. Argh! Trying to understand what (if anything!) is wrong is so hard! I'm hopeful that we'll start treatment in sept/Oct too if nothing happens before so we might be doing it at the same time!

@thislittlebird like they're going out of fashion - don't even know what I wrote there. It's early and I haven't had caffeine for a thousand years 😂

@KatRee Can you ask your GP to do virology and rubella check etc? Anything you can get done for free is worth asking! I had no idea about rubella but my mum sent me my vaccination card and I had it in 1988 and a booster in 1997 (no recollection!). The clinic were firm that I couldn’t start IVF unless immune. Anything like thyroid, full blood count you can request via blood tests. Apologies if you’ve spoken about this already. Can’t remember if you have low AMH like me?

@Misty84 sorry to piggy back, did the clinic accept your vaccination record or also need virology test?

@ElsieG3m Sorry I don’t know if they’d have accepted the vaccination record as I only asked mum about that this morning out of curiosity to see when I’d had it. I’d already done the blood test and provided to the clinic. I’ve had every test done through GP (to save money where possible!)

@Misty84 so presumably you had antibodies? Because I’m worried I won’t have any and hoping they’ll accept evidence of me having jab as sufficient to proceed.

@ElsieG3m morphology shouldn’t stop them getting to the eggs, just motility will do that tmk. So you’re probably ok for natural still. September October at least gives you some time to prep! I really do need to get a bit fitter.

@Misty84 thanks good to know!! Better get on to the GP 😊

@thislittlebird sorry - wrote in a rush. I have adhesions and my ovaries are stuck to my bowel so they're not sure if my tubes might be impacted. In addition I've the bladder prolapse and I think because my vaginal walls are collapsing it sort of pushes the sperm out before it has a chance to go anywhere. Just one of my many whacked theories though 😀