TTC 35+ thread 11

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread! I dunno how to tag everyone from the other thread 🤣

@KatRee hopefully the rates will be low and you won’t be at high risk. I hate that all this covid stuff will impact us if we are successful.

I’m not doing well tbh. I keep breaking down. I need someone to help us and it’s so frustrating that it’s just obstacle after obstacle after obstacle. I just want to be one of these normal people who get pregnant without all this trauma, and that is what it is.

@Misty84 fingers crossed for you, the waiting and the hope is a killer.

I would like to start ivf in august but I don’t know think it’s likely. I only asked for Letrozole because the doctor was away and I knew there was no time for ivf. September would be ok too, I think now the doctor isn’t around anymore I’m going to ask for a new doctor (I’m reading up on them) and aim to start ICSI ASAP. I know the Letrozole isn’t going to be high odds for us because of his motility and in my mind Ihave that to fall back on if ivf fails.

I also saw my friend’s very cute baby in a photo yesterday for the first time. It hurts a lot.

@thislittlebird Oh lovely, I’m so sorry for all this nonsense. But it’s a set-back - not a permanent wall between you and your goals. Cup of (decaf 🤣) tea, like warm bath and deep breaths. You’re doing everything right. Xx

@Geriatric1234 thanks, I know it’s a bump at most, I just can’t take all these delays. I’ve been messed around so much. I’ve now emailed them requesting to start with a new doctor the same week as our sperm fragmentation results. Praying he’s not on holiday too. I don’t see the point in having one more appointment with her only to move elsewhere after that.

Normal tea and coffee all the way here, I haven’t cut back on caffeine at all, maybe that’s bad but I’m tired of all this nonsense. I’ve slacked at taking supplements as well. I just don’t think these things are our issue in all honestly, but I’ll probably restart them when I’m feeling less despondent. I have coffee and malteser buttons for now.

@thislittlebird honestly I’m with you. I’m still doing caffeine and allllll the wine. Forget supplements all the time too. Sometimes you have to live! Xx

@Geriatric1234 I’m having a gin right now.

I’m so conflicted. I chose this clinic for this doctor and now I can’t have this doctor. I do have her plan, she’s written it for me already and I’ll ask to follow that but I’m very upset by yet another obstacle. I can’t decide which doctor to move across to. Sigh.

@thislittlebird Whatever you do, don’t choose mine! Bloody useless.
Sorry that you’ve got yet ANOTHER hurdle to face. Enjoy that gin, let it relax you.

Cramping here so just waiting for AF. Went to Wimbledon today, should have had a great time, instead I was so conscious about what my body was doing/about to do! TTC is doing my head in!!

@Misty84 I’m honestly so disappointed. The only thing making me happy with all this was that doctor. Now I’m back to square one almost. I’m looking at Dr Faris maybe, not sure. Will try to steer clear of yours but it sounds like you just get who you get on the day doing the egg collection etc.

I’ve been struggling so much this past week or two and I really didn’t need another set back.

Wimbledon sounds fun! Shame you couldn’t relax more though.

I've just had the most wine I've had in ages because fuck it. Also I had a twirl for breakfast this morning and left over pizza for lunch. Massive hugs to you all!

@thislittlebird I'm so sorry everything just seems to be conspiring against you, but at least you have the good doctors plan for you - you're on the right road, but these delays must be so frustrating- look after yourself

@Misty84 still hoping against hope that you won't need ivf , but if you do will be nice to have a buddy!

@AnxiousWannabe 6 and a half weeks would be cutting it very fine for 2nd jab before ivf begins. Ideally need somewhere that would do it after 4-5 weeks.

@thislittlebird You have her plan, therefore concentrate on that and whichever doctor they give you just state that you want to follow that plan. Once you’re in it you’ll be seeing different nurses etc all the time anyway. All hope is not lost! (but I do understand the frustration of another setback).

@KatRee Your wine, twirl, pizza combo made me giggle!

AF now arriving so that’s it, need to buy all the medication so that I’m ready to start IVF next cycle. When we started TTC 2 years ago I never imagined we would be here, but here we are 😔

@KatRee very tempted to have a few tonight, shame it's Sunday!

I've emailed the secretary with the request to follow her plan. I'm just unsure of whether to meet her again on August 2nd or move onto dealing with someone else, since I'll have to in time anyway.

@Misty84 ugh that sucks, sorry AF turned up. I feel you, I never thought we'd be here either. Certainly didn't expect it would be my DH with the main problem. Did you look into Asda for the meds?

Yes and sorry I forgot to say thank you for that tip @thislittlebird. After your message I looked into it more and there’s a few that people recommend so I’m going to email them (including Asda) my prescription to get a price. Whoever is cheapest I’ll buy from! Like you say, even saving a little bit is well worth it!! I’m already resentful enough about how much money the clinic is taking from me, don’t want to give them any extra!😛

@thislittlebird @Misty84
Sorry things are rough for you ladies too. I woke up auditing my life and tried to blame my issues on the bad stuff I did. TTC is rough, it's redefining my life. I was happy. I really was contented till I started this journey.

Ah well.

It’s so tough @AnxiousWannabe, I’m so sorry you’re feeling so down. It is relentless effort, worry and disappointment. ONE DAY we will have success, we have to believe that, and it’ll be all the more sweeter due to the journey we’ve endured to get there. I have full faith that I’ll have a family somehow, even if it might not be in the conventional way I always imagined/assumed.

Now I’m going to spend my CD1 (of cycle 23) watching the tennis and football and giving myself a break!! We deserve it. 🌸

Cycle 24 in fact! 🙄

Sorry to hear that. I will join you a week later...sigh.

@Misty84 I think it puts the cost up so much with the drugs on top! Sorry af arrived but hopefully you can get a better deal on the drugs

@AnxiousWannabe I think it's very hard not to make it all about ttc to be honest, it's such a consuming thing!

@KatRee that's she just said I can cut the iron down a bit now and to keep tracking this cycle to see if it was an extra af which I don't think it is as I had 7 days of flashy smilies so far 🤷🏼‍♀️

@thislittlebird that's so sad about your doctor! Have you thought about asking her for a recommendation for another one or failing that asking mr Ramsey?

Glad it was helpful @Misty84. I’m going to ask for a copy of my plan at some point, just so I can gauge the cost of meds in advance.

@AnxiousWannabe hope you’re feeling better now

@Marvellouslymadmum yeah not a bad idea, I might ask.

I have an appointment with Ramsay on the 26th and and Lister in the 28th now. They’ve given us the a hour one slot because of the change of doc, but at the follow up price, so that’s ok. Just steeling myself for bad fragmentation results now. Pffft. I’ve kinda given up at the moment. Stopped taking supplements, eating well, exercising. Partly because work has been busy before my holiday (I’m on leave now), partly because I’m very tired of all this and can’t see a beginning of ivf or an end to the stress.

My GP ran my tests, my rubella antibodies came back at 9 and they like it to be 10. I’ve emailed the clinic asking what’s acceptable, because if I don’t have to have the mmr/rubella vaccination I won’t bother, rubella is very rare and I don’t want to wait another 8 weeks for ivf and to stop ttc. Will be October cycle for me before I can start anything because of this vaccination thing, which is really not what I wanted. My life is one long wait 😑

@KatRee a twirl for brekkie? You are my new hero! 🤣

So team, I’ve peaked on CD-goddammitmuthafecker-NINE today. Clearly my geriatric body is chucking immature shitty eggs out left right and centre. @Marvellouslymadmum I am literally jealous of your 7 flashy smilies - I just want ONE and not these decrepit ovary surges wayyyy too early. I only just bought my second box of CB digitals as the first lasted 5 months. Urgh.

So, shaking up the supplements this month. Adding EP, vitex and soy-isoflavi-wotsits. Will up ubiquinol to 600mg after next AF.

If all that fails I’m hitting the dark web for some voodoo sh*t and going to start doing Wiccan rituals at sunset in the local skate park because frankly I’m 43 next month and Amazon and Lamberts have had enough retirement money off me already.

TTC OVER 40 SUUUUUCKS B*LLLLLLLSSSSS. (The irony)

@thislittlebird my old ovaries are sending your infant ovaries epic love vibes. It’s all about perspectives with age. And everything TTC is just so slow, even when it’s “simple”. Sorry it’s all so frustrating, I almost binned all my supplements this morning because it feels like they’re doing eff all. But at least you have some dates in the diary and a plan, albeit with a frustrating schedule. Xx

I’m losing the plot a bit because of all the waiting I won’t lie. @Geriatric1234 nine is very annoying! I’m very pleased my ovaries aren’t also working against us right now, but they also don’t seem to like to ovulate which is good of them. Don’t think that’s an age issue, more a borderline pcos issue maybe 🤨

I’ve heard good stuff about the soy whatsits but I’ve been too scared to take it in case it sends my ovaries loopy. My mood on supplements is through the floor, fuck those supplements, they can get in the bin right now. Bored of them.

I’m going on holiday on Friday, possibly a six hour car journey with the added side effects of a vaccine.

@thislittlebird I am FUMING at my ovaries. I’ve had a word, sat them down and explained I’m not spending all this money on expensive supplements for them to screw up (fnar) their future by quitting early on every egg and chucking it out with a Kevin & Perry-style “I hate youuu muum”. They won’t be told…ovaries. Amiright? 🤣

SO BORED of supplements. What have they ever done for anyone (no-one answer I’m in a mood and on a righteous rant!)?!

Great about holiday and even better about vaccination/car journey combo. Go vent the rage at France. (And then have a fabulous holiday because France is lush!) x

@thislittlebird and @Geriatric1234 I’m feeling your moods right now! Supplements don’t appear to have done any good for me either!

OH and I have come away to Bath for a few days, to give ourselves a break from thinking about TTC, and while we actually still have money before it all disappears into the ivf pit! Problem is you just can’t get away from it can you?…I saw 4 pregnant ladies yesterday, not to mention all the countless families.
Then while at dinner my friend texted me to let me know she’s pregnant. Again. I felt like utter, utter crap. Teaches me a lesson for leaving my phone on the table. I’d had 2 red wines as a special treat, ate bad stuff at the meal, and therefore had a sleepless night worrying that I’ve wrecked my egg quality from one night of indulgence, still thinking about the friend that I’ll have to avoid for the next 9+months.
IT SUCKS!!!! I don’t even recognise myself. It’s totally obsessive and unhealthy to feel this way 😔 Has created so much anxiety that I just didn’t have before. I hate what it does to us all.

@Geriatric1234 I absolutely would rant at France but we’re going to Cornwall 😂. I can rant at France IN Cornwall.

The holiday is well timed. Between work and ttc I’m not having a great time. Husband has his second job interview while we’re there too 😐

I don’t know much about early ovulation, mine is late or anything (does it even happen, who knows).