June Bus Bitches Talking Battered Sausages (Bus 5)

[SmileyT]

@Runnergirl1
@slimshadycousin
@RiverRoo
@onnaturescourse
@picallilly19
5 BFPs ❤️

@kate890 - May 30th?
@fashu - June 2nd?

@kirsty0028 - June 4th (Tested 30th/ 31st)
@catherinettc - June 4th (Tested June 3rd)
@ltay - June 4th
@katao - June 4th (Tested 30th May)
@krk05 - June 5th
@hogrider - June 5th
@vil10 - June 6th
@katecolx - June 6th (Tested June 2nd)
@sarah1253 - June 6th
@bumdiggydiggybumdiggybum -
June 7th
@little11 - June 7th
@thegirlwholived - June 8th (Tested 29th)
@ttcmummy2021 - June 8th
@ttcgee - June 8th
@lucyrp - June 8th
@cocoblue22 - June 9th (negative 31st)
@watermelonwizard - June 9th
@firsttimetry - June 9th
@bic501 - June 9th
@33carr - June 10th
@pandarific - June 10th
@wildbutterfly - June 10th
@smilyT - June 10th
@db20 - June 11th
@notyetamumbuttrying - June 11th
@clolo - June 11th
@pixielou16 - June 11th
@bear127 - June 11th
@unluckyducky - June 11th
@sarahttc2020 - June 11th
@blodyn91 - June 12th
@juno231 - June 12th
@noble89 - June 12th
@Mococo1 - June 13th
@tinks123 - June 13th
@Minster2012 - June 14th
@Franklydear - June 15th
@sjones2588 - June 15th
@ss123456 - June 15th
@jodi3 - June 15th
@clairey844 - June 15th
@newbie9 - June 17th
@sweetshop2020 - June 20th
@sydgal22 - June 20th
@dontgojasonwaterfalls - June 21st
@LV1987 - June 21st
@maybe333 - June 22nd
@mcbee26 - June 26th
@skip86 - June 28th
@missgoldilocks - June 28th
@sausage1990 - July 1st
@MURU
@lksf - June 2nd
@littleRa ?? (Tested 3rd June)
@lucie91 - July 2nd
@amy00 - 5th July
@crash1d

Amazing work @SmileyT 🙌🏼 Love a battered 🌭

Inspired by @Missgoldilocks and @KRK05 I did wonder if the new name would be Shit on a Dick, but there's always next time.

Can I join this bus please?
I love a battered sausage 😂

2 or 3 dpo here and confident, despite trying to two years now!

Good luck girls! 💕

Beep beep hello new bus biatches! Any guesses how many buses by the end of June 😂

@Skip86 shit on a dick 😂😂 is anything filtered on this site I wonder?! The internet is a strange and wonderful place!

Extra long weekend for me which starts now, role on the vino, sticking to drink til it’s pink for sure ha

Morning girls! Had a horrific dream that AF had arrived in full flow 4 days early and it was all over the bed... needless to say I woke up in shock and stuck my hand straight down my pjs to inspect. AF is not in the building yet thank god 🥵

10dpo and it's dragging so bad 😭😭

@smileyT Thanks for the new bus organisation. You are like a clever tour guide making sure nobody is left behind as we change to the next bus. 😍

@lucyrp That's terrible! I posted on the old bus about my dream last night - that pregnancy tests also showed you the gender!! 💙💖

@lucyrp oh no! I reckon that’s cause there was the story about someone nose bleeding all over someone’s white sheets 😂 can’t remember who’s story that was!

@SmileyT thanks for the new thread! I'm more of a June 11th tester I think.... my apps ended up pushing AF dates to either 10th or 12th so I'm going bang in the middle! Haha...

Honestly I can't even start with those sex stories yesterday! Howling 😂😂 can't tag individually but too funny - it does make you remember you have a fun life outside of 'what frigging day post ovulation am I RN' 🙈

Thanks for making these two weeks go a bit quicker gals!

I’m so pleased to have contributed my battered 🌭to the title, I’m going to take that as my work contribution for today - I thank you 👏🏻💁🏼‍♀️

@selina37 welcome to the bus! Trying for 2 years, wow, poor thing, have you tracked for that long? Have you read the end of our last bus (June bus bitches drink til it’s pink) i think it should be a right of passage for the first few days here, we’ve been discussing our worst sex experiences as we were getting a bit dull so to get your seat I’m afraid we need an awful sex story....you might want to have a read!

@Skip86 I’m loving the start of your stories, of course he was intimidated by your awesomeness, I think we need one story a day until say, August??

Who was it that chokes on dick?? Brilliant 😂that’s such a better thing to wake up to than AF in full flow but @SmileyT is right it’s CD32 now so I’ve got an idea of length of cycle. Now to buy more joker CB sticks 🙄to laugh at me

Thank you for the new bus Queen 🐝

@littlera sorry it was BFN

@Hogrider vivid dreams can be a thing!! Let’s hope!

Yes the nose bleed 😂🤣😂

@Hogrider I've just seen it! I've had such vivid dreams like that before that I've got my BFP and then wake up and nothing. It's not nice I hope you're okay 💗

@Sydgal22 that was @Vil10 I believe 🤣🤣

Checking in. Thank you @SmileyT for the new thread, and the dates list- you’re amazing! 💕

Thanks for new bus @SmileyT

I was working through old bus and still posting on that so I’ll copy my first message over.....
Morning catch up for me.....56messages to read!

So it’s CD24 for me usually have 28day cycles still no peak detected on my monitor so that leaves me with the two conclusions of either:

A) I didn’t ovulate this month as first month since coming off the pill

Or

B) the out of date sticks I used (2years out of date) didn’t detect the LH surge because the antibodies in them had degraded

So I am itching to PIAP and dip a stick 🤣 but I am going to wait until tomorrow mainly because I would have a drink on a Friday night so if it is negative I can do that and if it is positive even better and I can’t!! I am feeling so impatient to know now either way xx

yay new bus! 🌭

I seem to have been cursed with attracting small penises when I was younger . (OH is ok in that dept thankfully 😅) so my worst sex stories all revolve around that. One guy I met on a night out, got back to his house, all systems go, he pulls his boxers off and I swear it was dark and I was searching for it, found it and I had to use my index finger and thumb to grab it, felt like I was wanking off a child so I just turned over and went to sleep 🤣 I’ve also once asked a guy ‘is it in yet’ when he was in full swing. Nothing worse is there, I persevered with one of the guys and spent my life googling ‘sex positions for men with tiny dicks’ .... answer , NONE 🤣

6dpo for me. No symptoms. Just waiting....

PS sorry for the confusion everyone of me typing BFP- obviously wishful thinking!! Most definitely a BFN but still no AF 🤷‍♀️

you're all having baby dreams whilst I woke up in shock as I had dreamt I crashed on my bike 😆
as for sex stories, i saw my housemate at uni run out of her bedroom covered in blood, looked like a nose bleed, but she was going down on her bf and had torn his banjo string 😳

Thanks as amlways @SmileyT

That list is ever growing!! Hope everyone is keeping spirits up! How are you other ladies that are 7DPO? Half way there now 😬😬😬😬 Tryung my best to keep myself occupied and busy!

I have quite a few sex stories, was a bit of a minx at uni! I lived with my best friend and we were both party animals! One night after being out out we brought two guys back who also happened to be best friends, my friend had her ways with one and I had the other. Half way through our rumble we noticed the condom had come off. I was on the pill so wasn't too worried about it and carried on anyway. We then all met up in the kitchen for more booze and eventually after some time of chatting my friend fell asleep as did the guy I had been with. I clearly wasn't ready for sleep yet so went for round 2 with guy no.2. Turns out he was just really into forplay and was excellent with his fingers. Next morning we say tatty bye to the boys and discuss the nights shenanigans. I run the shower while she gets breakfast going, pop for a quick wee and am mortified to find the used condom while I wipe and pull it out. I must have shriked as my friend came running up the stairs to find me completely naked on the toilet, looking as if I had seen a ghost while holding us a used condom! 😱😳 Thankfully no STIs were caught during the making of this tale!

@blodyn91 omg that sounds horrific 😭🤣

@LittleRa how many dpo are you now lovely ? X

You lot are absolutely hilarious! Those stories! 🤣 I think DH thinks I’m having an affair the amount of time I’ve spent on my phone since joining this group! X

@blodyn91 🤮🙈 that’s every mans worst fear isn’t it! X

We never liked her bf a anyway 🤣 they did stay together for a while after the incident though

I also once got with a guy who enjoyed blowing on me .....I was like what are you doing.... he was like it’s really nice. No mate it isn’t stop.....totally put me off....

I realise in comparison to some of your stories this is tame but still haha xx

@blodyn91 probably out of duty! You can’t go round snapping a guys banjo string then chuck him haha that’s brutal! X

@blodyn91 🍆🍆ouch
& @33Carr no STIs were caught!! Thank f 😂

My DH has said the same that I’m now permanently glued to my phone and luckily he knows I’m having an affair with multiple women on a Mumsnet thread! 😂

I’ve just updated femometer with my June dates and it says next AF due 5th July so I’m hoping I won’t be kicked off June bus 69???