June Bus Bitches Talking Battered Sausages (Bus 5)

[SmileyT]

@Runnergirl1
@slimshadycousin
@RiverRoo
@onnaturescourse
@picallilly19
5 BFPs ❤️

@kate890 - May 30th?
@fashu - June 2nd?

@kirsty0028 - June 4th (Tested 30th/ 31st)
@catherinettc - June 4th (Tested June 3rd)
@ltay - June 4th
@katao - June 4th (Tested 30th May)
@krk05 - June 5th
@hogrider - June 5th
@vil10 - June 6th
@katecolx - June 6th (Tested June 2nd)
@sarah1253 - June 6th
@bumdiggydiggybumdiggybum -
June 7th
@little11 - June 7th
@thegirlwholived - June 8th (Tested 29th)
@ttcmummy2021 - June 8th
@ttcgee - June 8th
@lucyrp - June 8th
@cocoblue22 - June 9th (negative 31st)
@watermelonwizard - June 9th
@firsttimetry - June 9th
@bic501 - June 9th
@33carr - June 10th
@pandarific - June 10th
@wildbutterfly - June 10th
@smilyT - June 10th
@db20 - June 11th
@notyetamumbuttrying - June 11th
@clolo - June 11th
@pixielou16 - June 11th
@bear127 - June 11th
@unluckyducky - June 11th
@sarahttc2020 - June 11th
@blodyn91 - June 12th
@juno231 - June 12th
@noble89 - June 12th
@Mococo1 - June 13th
@tinks123 - June 13th
@Minster2012 - June 14th
@Franklydear - June 15th
@sjones2588 - June 15th
@ss123456 - June 15th
@jodi3 - June 15th
@clairey844 - June 15th
@newbie9 - June 17th
@sweetshop2020 - June 20th
@sydgal22 - June 20th
@dontgojasonwaterfalls - June 21st
@LV1987 - June 21st
@maybe333 - June 22nd
@mcbee26 - June 26th
@skip86 - June 28th
@missgoldilocks - June 28th
@sausage1990 - July 1st
@MURU
@lksf - June 2nd
@littleRa ?? (Tested 3rd June)
@lucie91 - July 2nd
@amy00 - 5th July
@crash1d

And then another one for you... Again at uni, and it was 3am leaving a club and all my friends had left so I was chatting to a bouncer. He offered me a lift home and so when we got to my house I felt like I should offer him in to be polite.
I gave him a blowjob, he came very quickly and then said he needed to get home before his wife noticed, as his GRANDKIDS were coming over the next day 🤣🤣

He was 60 something and I was 21 and that earned me the nickname GILF-hunter for the rest of uni 🙈🙈

@Vil10 the guy I was with with the tiny knob is also married with 2 kids now! If it wasn't for the fact I met him when I was working in another country and he still lives there I'd be thinking it was the same guy we were with 😂

@Minster2012 I was @chokesondick how could you forget 😂😂

Ah yes the micro penis I had one for my first and then my second was hung like a horse got the bloody shock of my life when he whipped it out 😂 OH is somewhere in the middle but he has magic lips which I care more about tbh 😂 👄 💦 💦

@Vil10 you've just made my morning with that one!!! Nothing worse than a small dick so glad most of you ladies know the pain of it 😂😂

@Skip86 hahaha!! Cycle buddies whoop whoop! Shitting on dicks would have been a great title 🎉😩 ain't no party like a shitting ona dick party hahaha I was obviously super excited and pushed too hard. He still eats me ass so hoorah no skin off my back 😂😂🎂🎂🎂🎂
Let's hope both our afs don't come then!!

So glad I haven't had to deal with a little dick in 5 years, my OH is biiiiiig 😍 haha lovely jubbly

@lucyrp yeah I think we will just go for it I mean I feel fine anyway xx

@Minster2012 I just had a look online and read that so I should hopefully ovulate in a few weeks hopefully! I’m just going to give it my best shot and see what happens xx

Christ, I've been loving these stories ladies! 😂😂😂 I've needed it since I've been in a right mood the last few days. Anyone else just not feel pregnant at all? Not that I have much to go off, having never been pregnant but I'm 5DPO and feel just normal. Boo!

Out of interest, how long have people been trying for? I've forgotten!

@Pixielou16 I feel like that, I am 6dpo so wouldn't expect to feel different yet! I have got a DS but I was 20 and he was a surprise so no idea if I had symptoms before, it was also 9 years ago so can't remember lol. This is my first month TTC, had my mirena coil removed after 8 years on the 13th of this month. so maybe wishful thinking but you've gotta start somewhere!! What about you?!

@pixoelou16 hey! I've been trying 11 months now, have been pregnant before I have a 9 year old son. Fell like in a month with him so this has been a shocker. How long have you been trying? You wouldn't feel pregnant in most cases by that time lol but you can in some cases too so don't worry

Had our honeymoon in Bali and some surrounding islands, loved it!!

Your stories are killing me girls! I have a few mild ones too...

• one where I was really drunk and took a fugly guy home for some nookie time but sobered up halfway through and got so turned off by his face that I had to turn the lights off so I wouldn't have to see him for the rest of it XD
• the other time I went home with a guy I fancied and started having nookie time (can't type the s word whilst on my work laptop!). It was a ground floor flat and I hadn't realised but halfway through his buddies opened the bedroom window from the outside and thrown a PIG'S HEAD in they'd found in butcher's skip, into the bedroom we were in during our act. This was pre any knowledge of David Cameron's pig head shenanigans btw.

Morning everyone!

These stories are absolutely hillarious!!

Congratulations to all the BFPs!
Sorry about the AFs too!! There's always next month!

I've had UNBEARABLE breast pain for around a week now. Started 2DPO with sore nipples and I now can't even move without my boobs hurting! I'm hoping it's a good sign!

@Missgoldilocks @watermelonwizard came off the pill Dec 19, didn't get proper period until Feb, so this is Cycle 4. Had a nurse practitioner tell me I may or may not have PCOS just before lockdown and was scheduled for a scan to follow up but nothing has been scheduled due to Covid. I hate that we have to wait a year before getting properly investigated!

11 months is a long time, I feel bad for moaning now @Missgoldilocks!

Hey y'all jumping over and still trying to catch up. Will write my sex story tonight as have a busy day today. Will check in again at lunchtime as I love reading these msgs! Until later my June bus bitches!!

@Juno231 like WTF!! I would have screamed and ran out down the street naked probably

@lucyrp @KateColx hahahaha that poor poor child, he’ll be tic tac dick junior😂😂

@DKDK123 hahaha imagine if some of us on here have been with the same man, I mean very far fetched but imagine we’d experienced the same tiny penis

@Missgoldilocks hahaa I’m glad I made you laugh!
Surely everyone has experienced that!

@firsttimetry my nipples were also so so sore a few days ago but now I’m 11dpo and they’re fine?? Which I’m so confused about!

@vil10
How strange!
My nipple soreness started around 2DPO and it hasn't gone away. I am now 8DPO and my boobs are so painful. They feel painful to the touch and when I move and I can also feel a dull ache even when I'm sat still!

@Pixielou16 think we're on our 10th cycle now, I've lost count it feels like the millionth cycle now. Already have one son and we were a year trying for him so hoping this one comes before we hit the year mark.

@Juno231 A pigs head eww!!!

@firsttimetry yes mine started at 3dpo and the last day they were sore I was 8dpo! Yes that’s what mine were like!! Sometimes my nipples felt a bit tingly/itchy! I hope this is a positive sign for both of us!!

@glifhunter has me pissing myself 🤣 x

@vil10
Ooo!! I will keep you updated on how I get on after today. Fingers crossed this is good signs!
How do you track your cycles? I think I have had an 'implantation dip' on my BBT chart today!

Wowwww so much to catch up on this morning... finally done 🥵 loving the bad sex stories 👀🤣

Haha these stories are hilarious!
Makes me feel normal about a one night stand with a skinny guy at a houseparty when I was still at school.. My ex (who I totally wasn't over was there too) so I was out to prove a point - still not sure what that point was to this day! Anyway yup, skinny guy, skinny sausage and it was definitely not enjoyable! The walk of shame the next day in front of my ex was also pretty unpleasant! Why do we do it to ourselves!! 😂

A funny one, with my now DH, we've been together since.. Well really just after that skinny guy above actually! Ha! So pretty young! I was still living at home at the beginning... my mum let him stay over because he lived so far away... Well one night we were tired so went to bed, except when got there we got turned on and had great sex! Didn't think anything of it!... Until the next morning at breakfast and my mum took me to the side and asked in future to be considerate next time, was awkward for her and my brother that was downstairs watching a movie!!!!
Oh my gosh.. Totally scundered! 🤣

@firsttimetry at first I doubted and thought it was just nipple and boob pain that you get before af appears but that usually only goes when you start but I haven’t started and it’s gone? I googled, stupidly, and it says pregnancy symptoms in the early weeks can come and go so even though I don’t think I am pregnant I’m hoping that’s the case!!
Yes keep me updated!! When are you going to test? I have a few different apps to see which is best to use, and then I just use opk’s and go off my body, so when I might have ewcm or when I get ovulation pains! I haven’t started tracking my BBT yet but I might try in the next few cycles if this one isn’t lucky for me!
I hope this is implantation for you!!🤞🏼 What cycle are you in?

@Pixielou16 I feel like that too boo! Don’t even know if I ovulated this month 😩 x

@firsttimetry that sounds very positive when Are you testing? X

@SarahTTC2020 = @GILFhunter 😂🤣Love it or @proseccocork ??

@Sydgal22 of course @chokesondick

@Missgoldilocks = @shitsondick

We may have a challenger for @Vil10’s award though
@Juno231 🐷🐽 @pigsheadsexact #shegottherefirstcameron

@Pixielou16 in theory we’ve been TTC since may 19 but we did private IVF from Dec19-transfer of embryo in feb which was BFP then MC in March as I know my eggs are screwed. So this was 1st cycle TTC after that

Or maybe @Juno231 is @sexwithpigshead that looks better 🐷