6 months TTC

[Twinkletoes85]

Hello Ladies.

I’m mid 30s ttc my first. I was on the depo before, I know that causes issues to fertility and it will take longer. It was three months before my periods came back but I’ve been regular as clockwork since. Fairly certain I’m ovulating (lot of signs pointing to it) but still no baby. Im due again in the next couple of days and I can tell I’m going to come on.

I tried with my ex a few years ago for 7/8 months (although it was a very half hearted and not really a surprise it didn’t happen.) I wanted a baby for different reasons back then and got very upset every month. I was determined not to get as upset and try be more relaxed with my new partner but I’m starting to find it hard.

How do you cope with the disappointment of another failed cycle?

@Missgoldilocks I totally agree about pressure to DTD too often. We once tried (and failed!) to follow SMEP and I found it was too much pressure and took the fun and spontaneity out of the whole process. We also have DS (4yo) so we're pretty shattered after working FT and looking after him so we're not the active couple we once were back in our younger days!

Do you guys talk to your DHs about when you're planning DTD? I have taken to not discussing my fertile week etc with DH now so that he doesn't realise its baby-making sex and instead just thinks I'm really up for it. Seems to have made a bit of a difference and it feels more 'normal' when at least one of us isn't constantly wondering if we've just made a baby!

@Twinkletoes85 it goes up to 1000 so we've got a few more msgs in it I reckon! 
Think we should call the next one 7 months ttc or 6 months plus cos we're all exceeding that mark now sadly 😬
@MummyOfZog mine knows as I'm fertile the day after my period but he doesn't know ov day usually. Sometimes I have to tell him or we could miss the day as we're not that active all the time.
Most say they don't tell them though as it does make it feel routined then.

@notyetamumbuttrying ok I’ll move it over in a few more messages! Yes will update the name :)

Hi all just catching up, you guys are so busy! Loving all the chat and so positive.
Will look into the books too, thanks for suggestions.

@Twinkletoes85 ABSOLUTELY normal to feel freaked out by prospect of a small person reliant on you forever. If you weren't a bit freaked out it would mean you weren't aware of how important the job is. I have 2, and run a company, and see my friends, and go for picnics. Occasionally might even have a night away once they were older. You can totally do what you love to do, just the parameters change and you might do those things less often (but appreciate them more). Plus all the highs totally outweigh the lows when it comes to kids.

Sorry to hear about your mum @Hoping41. Sometimes grief helps focus the mind on what we want from life. Everytime I've lost someone special (too frequent an occurrence for me unfortunately) it has pushed me to change jobs/house/priorities or have a baby (!) and I'm so grateful something positive can come out of such pain.

Definitely up for a new thread!

@Tilly1403 I've recently started taking a load of supplements that are meant to improve egg quality. I'm 40 though so figure my poor eggs will need a bit of a helping hand. Not sure if they are working, but I had a longer cycle than usual this month, so possibly. Is your CQ10 the ubiquinol version? It's meant to be much easier to absorb than other types. But it's expensive.

@Missgoldilocks @notyetamumbuttrying def wotn you both in the DTD taking its toll. Glad it's not just me.

@Kitttycatt so sorry about the BFN. Really hope it all goes well with the fertility clinic in a few weeks.

@Kitttycatt Thinking of you but sounds like you’re being as upbeat as you can be which is really positive given the disappointment of AF. It’s great you have that appt as it can feel like you’re still taking those positive steps forward xx

@Kitttycatt correction - the BFN, not the AF!

@Posy1 what do you take? Which do you find work? (Sorry if you’ve already said).

After reading on here and some other bits I’m going to order evening primrose, coq10 and dhea (I think that’s it name) just not sure what dose I should get of them all.

@MummyOfZog yeah it's stressful!! My OH has to know when I'm fertile otherwise he won't "finish" I know it sounds weird but he just finds it difficult to finish and always has, so he has to know so that he does if that makes sense 😂 it takes ages and it hurts so I'm definitely not doing it loads this time! Also agree with you, plus when you have a child you can't be as spontaneous with the sex :( lol its like "when he goes to bed I'm gonna lay it downnnnn" haha and sometimes I'm too damn tired by that point!

@Posy1 it's hard! Plus because I know I'm doing it for a baby suddenly the sex becomes really crap for me it's so weird!!

@notyetamumbuttrying yes, we aren't that active either after 5 years 😂 especially not my partner, if he's stressed it's out of the window so it can be difficult! I'd rather just lay off the stress and do it a couple of times. I was thinking about self insemination but just seems like a rigmarole

@twinkletoes I take pregnacare, CQ10 in the form of ubiquinol and high dose vitamin D3. Also about to start Vitamin C and E today. Most of the above are recommended that book. I also take acai berry extract and then evening primrose oil until ovulation.
I was taking red clover extract which is very similar to soy isoflavones, but decided to stop that for a while.
I prob wouldnt take so much except that I know at my eggs will be affect by age at this stage, so throwing everything at them! 😂😂

@Twinkletoes85 just in case you buy the wrong thing - DHEA and DHA are different. I was so confused when I first researched. DHEA is a hormone precursor and DHA is a fatty acid omega 3 supplement.
I think you are probably looking for DHA though. DHEA is omy really recommended for people with low ovarian reserve. (I'm looking into that at the moment...😂😂🤯)
You can get CQ10 in the form of ubiquinol combined with OMEGA 3 though which is what I'm taking.
Sorry, if that makes no sense....took me so long to gety head round all these supplements.

So glad i found this thread! Im 33, had 3 mc in the last year (so conceived quickly until now but lost each time). Problem might have been my uterine lining being full of holes - now ttc for 3 months and alreafy losing my mind.
Can i just shout how much i hate having my period? Its icky and painful and disabiliting at the best of times - let alone when you are ttc! Last month i was feeling nauseaus for a few days before which didnt help either! I feel premenopausal with symptoms changing and coming like that!!!

@posy1 thank you, it does make your head spin a bit! I got some Angus cactus but then held off taking it as I’m quite regular and not sure I should potentially mess with my cycle.

But given I’m 34 I feel I should be taking something to help! Advice is always appreciated! I saw DHA and DHEA and wondered what the difference was.

What does the açai berry help with?

Yeah same @Missgoldilocks it's defo more him than me. I'd like to do it more often but he seems so highly strung with work etc that I just can't be bothered to coax him round lol! Ooh not looked into self insemination...what's that show where they talk about using a turkey baster lol? I instantly thought of that 😂
Hi @Fez148 sorry to hear about your MC's!! Yes I too hate periods, I was on the pill where you didn't have any before ttc and it was heaven! I found taking agnus castus last cycle helped with some of the symptoms and it was lighter in the last couple days!

@Twinkletoes85. Do you know what day you generally ovulate and how long your luteal phase is? If you have a normal luteal phase and don't suffer from early / late ovulation, I prob wouldnt take anything that could mess with your cycle.

Acai berry is just another anti-oxidant so is meant to help protect the eggs from oxidative damage.

Who knows if any of this will help though! I could just be wasting alot of money when a multi-vit is sufficient.

@Kitttycatt sorry about the bfn - I hope the fertility clinic has something to help you with. Did your dr refer you early?
@Twinkletoes85 let’s hope so. It certainly feels right and now I’ve been trying for so long, I know I definitely want it. Fingers crossed for us! Let’s hope our new thread is a lucky one!!
@Missgoldilocks @notyetamumbuttrying so glad to see everyone thinking similar on this. We’re doing smep for the first time and my OH is finding it tough going as he is also working crazy hours. I’m fine this month as I’m just relaxing but it’ll definitely tough while working and I can’t image attempting it with kids already 🙈

The sun didn’t shine here today so I have been very busy working and actually feel better for it! Day 3 of the 3 in a row with smep so better not tire myself out too much 😂

@posy1 I’ve only just started using opks but this month it was day 14 which as about when I thought I was. Usually I’ve had a 26 day cycle so I think that’s all about right. I was 5 days late last month so I’m interested to see when I come on this month after knowing for sure when I ov’d

None of those seem to do any harm to take and they’ll be doing you some good even if they aren’t helping ttc! Always worth a try

@Fez148. So sorry to hear about your miscarriages. That can't be easy to go through. I ready feel for you.
Have they referred you the the recurrent miscarriage clinic? I know they some places refer after 3 for investigations.

Hi posy1, thank you, yes, i was referred after 2 because im lucky enough to live right by the tommys centre. The team is great and so helpful!

Thanks guys @Hoping41 I turned 35 in April and I went to my GP in March to chat about being rundown and my fertility, she was happy to get my bloods checked and refer me to the clinic and I got my original appointment in May but it’s been postponed to mid June. Much quicker than I thought it would take. Let’s hope something comes out of it!

Good going with smep @Hoping41 we almost did that this cycle and knew we wouldn't succeed lol! Still covered all bases in terms of the 24 hours of ovulation tho so I'm optimistic as ever for the outcome next week! 😬
Good luck @Kitttycatt!!

I'm having some cramps this evening I think it might be AF coming but hoping she isn't 😬

@Fez148 oh that's great and so good to hear the team were good too.

@Hoping41, I would like to give SMEG a go, but I don't think we would manage the 3 days in a row. 😂 How long have you been trying again?

@Fifol, hopefully implantation cramping. 🤞

Sorry but what is smeg?