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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Ttc at 40 something!

389 replies

Mumof4andahalf · 11/02/2020 21:04

Probably the only place I feel comfortable enough to share details of when I had sex and what is going on with my vagina 😳
So as the title says I'm 40 and some extra and desperately ttc since 2017, I've had 2 miscarriages in this time 1 being a Mmc and the other at week 12 which was horrendous. If you want to join for some love, support and a chat please do!
Don't let me be Billy no mates 😢

OP posts:
Sunshinelove8 · 13/08/2020 09:52

@Anxiousbuthopeful hope you’re ok? X

Anxiousbuthopeful · 13/08/2020 13:16

Had my secondo scan. Weak heartbeat and a bit small so doctor not optimistic but hanging in there!

Sunshinelove8 · 13/08/2020 13:55

The heartbeat is weak if it just started normally , I’m glad it started . I hope it gets stronger over the next few days 🤞 what does he mean it’s a bit small , he means the crl? X

Anxiousbuthopeful · 13/08/2020 15:50

Yes. Am meant to be 7 weeks and measuring 6mm which is apparently 6+3?

Sunshinelove8 · 13/08/2020 15:59

Yes that sounds about right . I know your dates aren’t incorrect because of ivf . Hopefully , it will catch up at next scan , when’s your next one? X

Anxiousbuthopeful · 13/08/2020 16:24

Next week. Either Wednesday or Friday.

Sunshinelove8 · 13/08/2020 18:27

Wish they could put us in a coma til 12 weeks is past . The waiting is like torture eh x

Anxiousbuthopeful · 13/08/2020 18:56

It is! I am feeling ok though, sort of prepared for it to go either way. And you? Any news from your end?

Sunshinelove8 · 14/08/2020 10:24

Unfortunately, no heartbeat at 9 weeks , just had scan . Third mmc in a year

Anxiousbuthopeful · 14/08/2020 13:47

Oh no! I am so so sorry. How are you?

Sunshinelove8 · 14/08/2020 13:59

I expected it with the hcg not doubling right a couple of weeks ago but it’s still devastating. My egg quality is obviously not good and it’s likely chromosomal, probably last two were as well . Guess it’s an age thing 😞
Off to hospital alone today ( as don’t allow partners due to covid) to discuss options . The fertility clinic I’m at want an operation and testing of what they get out to know what happened for sure .
Not sure what to do next . I should probably give up with my own eggs . Thought about pgs testing but the reviews are so mixed .

Anxiousbuthopeful · 14/08/2020 14:34

I am so sorry. It sucks. At our age I think it becomes a numbers game, we need to try and try and try and hope that we find one that is ok...

Sunshinelove8 · 14/08/2020 14:44

I agree with you , it is a numbers game , it’s just exhausting though isn’t it ? I was so anxious during this pregnancy fearing another mmc , goodness knows how I’ll feel if pg again . I hope your scan is better news next week x

Anxiousbuthopeful · 18/08/2020 21:12

Hello. Bad news from me, sadly. No heartbeat at 8 weeks. Sad but was expecting it. Planning a quick d&c as I don’t love the thought of waiting for things to happen....

Sunshinelove8 · 18/08/2020 22:34

Oh , I’m sorry 😞 it seems we are on the same road my friend . Mine is on Thursday . Having had three at 8-9 weeks all with heartbeats , I’m pretty sure this must be a chromosome issue from reading . Are you having any tests done ? I’ve signed some forms so what they take is tested this time .
Is that an option you can ask for ( I’m not sure if they do it after one ) I’ve decided not to try naturally again and do ivf with pgs .
Big hugs to you , it’s so hard even if you expect it xxx

Original poster
Mumof4andahalf · 21/08/2020 10:00

@Sunshinelove8 @Anxiousbuthopeful I'm so sorry ladies 💜

OP posts:
Anxiousbuthopeful · 21/08/2020 10:33

Thank you. I had mine done yesterday but doc is not sure that uterus is completely cleaned up...

Rachel0317 · 21/08/2020 10:40

Hi, I am 40 next March and have been ttc for over 2 years. I got rejected for fertility support as my BMI was 30.8 and they want max 29.9 so I've been on a massive weightloss mission throughout lockdown which has been tough.

Every month I get symptoms that make me think I am pregnant but then my period comes. Does anybody else get that and did anybody who has been pregnant feel like their period was coming?

It's really starting to get me down now.

hopefullytrying · 21/08/2020 11:17

Hi all. Sorry I should have asked if I could join first. I have just changed my nickname so will post again in the hope that somebody has felt the same as me and can @ mention me and I will get notified. I am just down about it all at the moment.

Hi, I am 40 next March and have been ttc for over 2 years. I got rejected for fertility support as my BMI was 30.8 and they want max 29.9 so I've been on a massive weightloss mission throughout lockdown which has been tough.

Every month I get symptoms that make me think I am pregnant but then my period comes. Does anybody else get that and did anybody who has been pregnant feel like their period was coming?

It's really starting to get me down now.Sad

Sunshinelove8 · 21/08/2020 11:23

@Anxiousbuthopeful I’m glad yours is over , sorry about the retained product as they call it , will you need another procedure? I waited from 7:30 am to 4pm nil by mouth All day and all alone yesterday and mine got cancelled due to too many emergencies so I have to come back Monday , I burst into tears when doctor told me . It’s now over two weeks since the heartbeat actually stopped and still carrying it 😞 , want to move on .

@Rachel0317 good luck with your weight loss , it’s tough over lockdown - I put weight on like most folk I think . So it’s hard .
Pregnancy/pmt/pms symptoms are almost identical unfortunately. I’ve been pregnant a few times now ( 1 dd) I used to get period pains up to two weeks before my actual period every day when pregnant and not pregnant. I wouldn’t find symptoms to be different really x

Anxiousbuthopeful · 21/08/2020 11:58

Oh no @Sunshinelove8. I am so so sorry. I thought mine was bad but your experience sounds horrific. I hope your weekend goes as well as possible, and that the wait isn’t too bad.

And @Rachel0317 - I am sorry you are feeling down about TTC. Let’s hope the fall brings better luck to us all.

Sunshinelove8 · 21/08/2020 12:18

@Anxiousbuthopeful thanks , yep it’s been rough . What are your next steps with everything?

Anxiousbuthopeful · 21/08/2020 13:08

Apparently just supposed to wait and see for a couple of weeks and then go back to have it checked. Do you know when one can start trying again after a d&c? Have heard best to have at least one period in between, but possibly old wives’ tale?

Sunshinelove8 · 21/08/2020 13:21

You can try straight away . I ovulated two weeks after my last miscarriage. They tell you to wait for the next period because of dating the pregnancy more easily . I actually got pregnant the month after my first mc but was a cp. you’re supposed to be more fertile . So you’re trying naturally? I’m not going to try naturally anymore , as I get pregnant okay but always miscarry at 8-9 weeks so assume eggs are bad and will need ivf/ pgs probably

Twinklelittlestar1 · 25/08/2020 17:35

Hi everyone,

I've had my third early miscarriage in as many months of trying. I'm convinced I have hyper fertility, I've been reading about it and it fits with me. I get pregnant first time we try but it seems my uterus is 'unfussy' and clings to eggs which aren't viable so I miscarry. Has anyone else got this or had a successful pregnancy after multiple miscarriages? I'm 40 now and desperately want a sibling for my son whose 3

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