Ttc at 40 something!

[Mumof4andahalf]

Probably the only place I feel comfortable enough to share details of when I had sex and what is going on with my vagina 😳
So as the title says I'm 40 and some extra and desperately ttc since 2017, I've had 2 miscarriages in this time 1 being a Mmc and the other at week 12 which was horrendous. If you want to join for some love, support and a chat please do!
Don't let me be Billy no mates 😢

It’s a really good sign there’s a fetal pole , I never had that - although rest of measurements were on track . I’m hopeful it will happen today or next couple of days 🤞

Thank you so much @Sunshinelove8 - from what I read there should really be a HB at 3mm but will go in for a scan next week and find out for sure. Have everything crossed but braced for bad news.

Can I join? I'm 40 and just going through a chemical. Started to bleed today. Positive tests Tues, Weds and Thurs, including a digital. By Saturday - absolutely nothing and have started bleeding today. Does anyone know whether I will ovulate as normal? My period would have been due today so hopefully my cycle isn't disrupted?

Anxious - I’ve read it should be seen at 5mm then I read somewhere else at 7mm ! Just keep strong I know how you feel , I’m in the same boat now too , different stage but hcg not doubling so scared too. Pregnancy can be so frightening and the waiting is really tough x
@ goose I had a chemical but my period was only two days late so made no real difference to next cycle , think I ovulated a few days later than normal x

Oh dear @Sunshinelove8. What a rollercoaster. What stage are you at now? This whole thing is so tough.

It’s harder at this age for sure , more chance of issues It seems :/ I’m 8 weeks but the hcg not doubling for a couple of weeks now, I read that can be due to chromosomal issues . Hoping for a miracle . I hope everything turns out great for you , keep me updated xxxx

I've got quite a positive story.

At 38 I spent a year and a half TTC then got pregnant after a month long holiday in Australia and gave birth to my DS three months before my 40th.

I started ttc again when I was 41 and twice got pregnant straight away followed by an early MC. After the second MC I got pregnant almost immediately again and luckily this one resulted in our daughter being born a few months before my 43rd birthday.

Best of luck OP - keep going!!

@Upherefordancing thanks for your lovely positive story and congrats on your DD! This really helps. The feeling like it's too late is a horrible feeling.

@GanderousGoose I'm so glad it helped. There were two things I took away from my experience:

One was that I'm convinced the month long break in Australia is the reason I conceived (it was after the first time we had sex on our return), making me conclude my problem ttc had actually been psychological rather than physical.

Second was after my second MC trying to conceive our second child, so many friends and family said "oh are you going to give up now then?" It shocked and saddened me but just made me more resolute, and I conceived our DD a month later.

Keep going!! 🤞🤞🤞

@anxiousbuthopeful hope you're next scan gets the heartbeat, must be an anxious wait.
I have been suffering from morning sickness this last week, as well as extreme hunger and some headaches. Its been horrible, I didn't have this with my first child so a bit of a shock to the system.
I have my scan next Sunday, so I've still got a week to wait.

Keeping fingers crossed for you @awbaby. Let us know! I have zero symptoms at all, which I fear doesn’t bode well.

Anxious , I’ve had no symptoms either but still seen a heartbeat up til 8 weeks so I guess hcg etc would be high by now . Also with dd I only had mild nausea in the evening , nothing too bad , and that was it x

Thanks @Sunshinelove8. I hope all goes well and that your hcg levels rise appropriately. Which week were you on when you first found the heartbeat?

It was week 6 , about 6 weeks 3 I think . I stopped testing hcg couple of weeks ago as was not good mentally seeing such a bad climb . I’m hoping it’s not a chromosome issue , pretty sure that caused last two mmc . It’s a stressful time all of this . Had some brown bleeding yesterday too. I guess only time will tell us the answers , we just have to stay strong x

Dear @Sunshinelove8 - so stressful. I have booked another scan for tomorrow afternoon. Fingers crossed for you.

And you xxx

@sunshinelove8 how are you measuring your hcg levels? Fingers crossed everything is OK for you.
@anxiousbuthopeful I never had any symptoms with my first so don't worry. Good luck with your scan.

Hi awbaby , I’m with a fertility clinic ( was about to start ivf when fell pg) so they monitored every two days via blood tests . It’s supposed to double every 3 days minimum but mine ended up being like 8 days which is not good . Will just have to wait and see unfortunately.
Good luck today @Anxiousbuthopeful x

Thank you! Will keep you all posted. Debating waiting until tomorrow to scan as I reckon the longer I wait the more definite tue answer. But at the same time I just want to know.

I’m leaving my next scan til 9 weeks for a similar reason , I’d rather wait longer and viability more certain . I think after my 6 week 5 scan where no heartbeat I waited a week and by that stage it was obvious what was happening x

What's the chances of ivf success over say 3 rounds at 41 but with low amh so only 1-2 blasts max per cycle? I just don't know if it's worth the expense?

Thank you. Do you know whether there are many instances where there is no heartbeat (and no possibility of dating error - IVF!) and then it turns out ok? Or is it largely a foregone conclusion?

Hi luciloos , I know it’s lowish in 40s but I think my clinic (argc) was about 30 percent which was one of higher success rates . Check around the clinics should have stats on websites or call them to check . I was going to do it whatever the stats as a chance is a chance I guess.
I think if you got to 7 weeks and it’s over a certain size ( can’t remember what this is but sure will be on google) also I think when hcg is over 10,000 heartbeat is expected . I’m sure there are exceptions but I’m a bit of a realist and so when I didn’t see one at 6 weeks 5 and no pole - I still hoped but knew it was not a good sign . You were only 6 weeks 2 though so anything can happen within the sixth week x

@Sunshinelove8 thank you I've been in touch with my clinic and they said overall after 3 rounds about a 35% live birth rate with pregnancy rate about 50% It's so hard to know what to do as it will cost us not far off £15k for those 3 rounds and the chances are not that high but it's still a relatively decent 1 in 3 chance.

Yeah I know the costs and stats are hard to stomach but I still think it’s money I’d spend on a car / holidays etc and if it gave a baby , well that’s worth so So much more . I’m going to do ivf if this pregnancy fails but I’m also considering doner eggs as I think eggs are reason for constant mmc ( low amh ) is look at all factors and ask for the clinics honest opinion as chances may be lower or higher depending on your unique results . Also consider immune testing ( argc do this) as sometimes that or sticky blood can be reason for infertility or mc x