Ttc at 40 something!

[Mumof4andahalf]

Probably the only place I feel comfortable enough to share details of when I had sex and what is going on with my vagina 😳
So as the title says I'm 40 and some extra and desperately ttc since 2017, I've had 2 miscarriages in this time 1 being a Mmc and the other at week 12 which was horrendous. If you want to join for some love, support and a chat please do!
Don't let me be Billy no mates 😢

[Mumof4andahalf]

@Anxiousbuthopeful good morning. I'm currently 2 days late which would normally mean I would've tested but the last 3 months af has arrived 3 days late, 4 days early and on time so I'm not getting my hopes up. I feel crampy so no doubt another lost month. Age most definitely is not on my side now and with 3 consecutive losses my hope is dwindling x

[Anxiousbuthopeful]

Hello everyone, how it is going? I am still TTC and getting a bit depressed as it feels like it might never happen. I hope some of you have had good news!

[Mumof4andahalf]

Hi lovely ladies how are you all? Hope you're all staying safe and lockdown isn't too stressful on you all.
Just thought I would check in and see how you're all doing?
No positive test here yet 😞 pregnancy not covid! although my body has decided to play up this month, cramps, pinching on one side, late period (3 days) v unusual for me but NO chance of a positive this month. If there was a hope I would be testing like mad. Hoping it's not the start of peri menopause 🤞🏻 anyway hope some of you have had some great news x

[Sunshinelove8]

Oh best of luck ! Quite hard to wait for a blood test :/ ! I’m sure one of yours if not more with be sticky 🙏 I’m still stressed a bit , having weird dreams about having my own baby every night then waking up realising I’ve not got near that yet! I’m also trying to figure out when my next af is as my last cycle was 20 days , I’m using opks to try and figure when I ovulate x

[Anxiousbuthopeful]

Thank you! I find out on the 28th when I am supposed to take a blood test, apparently bad idea to test early because the trigger shot gives false positives for about 10 days. Oooh and best of luck with your cycle! Disappointing to have to wait but quite nice in a way to get a month off from all the stress, no?

[Sunshinelove8]

Oh fantastic 🙏🤞 for sticky ones !! When will you know the outcome ? , I read somewhere you can’t test early because they give you hcg or something as part of ivf?? I couldn’t start because My progesterone was too high and argc like everything perfect ! I’ve come off dhea and hopefully will go end of this month . Glad in way as was quite ill this weekend with cold . So excited for you! X

[Anxiousbuthopeful]

Hello. Had 4 embryos transferred on day 3 (yesterday). Now fingers crossed. Any news, @Sunshinelove8? Did you start?

[Anxiousbuthopeful]

Oh no @Sunshinelove8 - that sounds terrible. Don’t fret about the DHEA. If I’ve learnt anything over the last round is that a lot of the time doctors say things but they don’t know for sure, it might be something else altogether. And great news that you can start in a couple of days! Fingers crossed for you! Keep me posted!

[Sunshinelove8]

Sorry my cycle was supposed to start today but because I have okay fsh they said I can start within two days , unfortunately I took another bloody dhea pill just b4 the call 😖 so doubting my levels will drop. I tried to throw it up but couldn’t and now my throat really hurts!

[Sunshinelove8]

Dhea is annoying , I didn’t read anything about progesterone being adversely affected , so annoying!
I know the clinic I’m with aren’t the biggest fans of pgs either , even though they offer it . It’s not full proof with 95% accuracy but there’s still the small margin of error . I just can’t face another mmc . That’s all I seem to end up with . I’m trying a different approach this time but I may end with no embryos as a result . I saw two ladies with twins at my local park yesterday and thought ‘ I wonder were they the result of ivf’ I wish our fairytale cake true too x

[Anxiousbuthopeful]

Hi @Sunshinelove8 - sorry to hear about the progesterone. The whole thing is so frustrating! But don’t give up hope, they told me this month might have to be cancelled owing to skewed hormones and then they went back to where they were supposed to be. When is your cycle supposed to start? And how interesting that they think it might be DHEA. Have heard such good things about it but - again - the Doctor I’m with said he wouldn’t recommend, and again I am not completely clear as to why. He is not a man of many words but meant to be very good, so torn between just doing what I think is right (eg PGS) and taking his rather mysterious advice.

[Sunshinelove8]

Hey @Anxiousbuthopeful glad you are going to egg collection stage , massive fingers 🤞 for some good embies!
I’m in a bit of a limbo , my clinic may make me go next month as my progesterone is too high ! They think it’s because I took dhea :/ silly me. Other results were ok so frustrating .
Isn’t it your decision on pgs rather than doctors ? Mine were the same but i want to do it as I can produce embryos which probably look great but don’t turn into babies unfortunately x

[Anxiousbuthopeful]

Hi @Sunshinelove8, how are you getting on? I think we are cycling together, are we not? I am triggering tonight. Weird batch of follicles this time around, one at 22mm, then four between 13 and 19mm and then two small ones at 8-9mm. Not sure what it looks like, hoping for 4 mature eggs in there. The doctor doesn’t want to biopsy, I don’t fully understand why and finding it quite frustrating. Making plans to travel to Brussels amid the madness...
Anyway, hope all is well with you and that you are having a good cycle!

[Sunshinelove8]

@Anxiousbuthopeful oh best of luck ! I’m definitely doing pgs if I get embryos , even on one I will be doing it . I’ve had three mmc at 8-9 weeks and any pg will feel very dangerous to me without having some faith that the embryo is normal . I’m awaiting chromosome tests on the last mmc but the behaviour of the hcg was odd - went extremely high then doubled every 8 days at 7 weeks , just looked a very odd pattern so I assume it’s some chromosome issue due to age . I’m only doing ivf for the purpose of pgs as I get pg every 2/3 months naturally .
I spoke to the embryologist and he was honest . So they take 5 out of 150 cells from what will be the placenta . They can’t take more or it would affect development. There’s a 2-5 percent error rate - so it may be classed as abnormal or normal and it’s not . That’s still 95% plus accuracy. The embryo will either be classed as abnormal ( extra or two few chromosomes ) or highly mosaic , or lower level mosaic which you can have genetic counselling and decide whether to put back .
I’ve read a lot about it on forums too. Women having mcs and then they test the rest of their fets and all abnormal , or women finding two normals amongst 5 abnormals and having a choice then to go with the best chance . There’s a 70% chance of a live birth with pgs as opposed to under 30% not I read recently . I prefer those odds .
Obviously there’s a risk and especially at our age that none come back normal , I think it’s 1/10 normals at our age but it really depends on many factors and can be higher.
Personally, I can’t blindly go into another mmc without some attempt at reducing my odds by removing embryos with a known chromosome issue x

[Anxiousbuthopeful]

Am in mid IVF cycle, scan next Saturday to see what’s happening. How about you @Sunshinelove8? I am also debating PGS, have heard conflicting reports of how reliable/safe it is and was wondering what your take was...

[Sunshinelove8]

@Anxiousbuthopeful how are you getting on? X

[Anxiousbuthopeful]

Update - and apologies for hogging the stage here. Doctor suggests going ahead anyway on the basis that time is of the essence and why should the next one be better. I have started the first injection now. Such low hopes. Don’t understand why this is looking so much worse than my last cycle, it was only 4 months ago!

[Anxiousbuthopeful]

Thank you! So i went today to see if I could start IVF this cycle and not looking so good. Only 4 follicles, of which one already dominant. Think we might wait this one out, although I am not sure whether next cycle will be looking much better...

[Sadie406]

@Anxiousbuthopeful Thank you! Sending virtual hugs. Here if you need to talk.

[Anxiousbuthopeful]

I am also a bit glum at the moment but nothing I can do but press on. Thanks for the inspiration @SirVixofVixHall! And nice to meet you, @Sadie406.

[Sadie406]

Is this strictly over 40's? I'm 35 but feel a bit old and out of place on the other threads. I'm also suffering secondary infertility. x

[SirVixofVixHall]

Good luck all you forty somethings. I had my first baby at 41 and my second at 43. No problems apart from pre-eclampsia and a c-section with the first, but right at the end so she was full term. I got pregnant easily each time. My v close friend had her two at the same age.
My friend’s mum was 46 having her, an unexpected baby, her brother is 20 years older !

[Mumof4andahalf]

@Anxiousbuthopeful I'm not ready to give up completely but definitely feel less hopeful now. Hope you are ok x

[Anxiousbuthopeful]

Hello! I was thinking about you @Mumof4andahalf. How are you? I know, I am also worried that my time may have come and gone. But don’t quite feel I can give up yet. @Sunshinelove8 - got 8 eggs last time (4 fertilized) which was more than expected. But I would like to try egg banking because I fear that I may have more miscarriages and that means say 4-5 months between attempts, so max 2-3 a year..

[Mumof4andahalf]

Hi everyone, I've not been on for a while, tried having a social media break.
How are you all?
I'm still here but not tried to conceive for the last few months. Tbh after 3 concurrent losses I'm doubting it will happen and I think my partner is hesitant now.
Hope some of you have had some positives if not fingers crossed we get some on the page soon x