35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22


I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

[petiteange28]

Blueberry - My ex-colleague just had her first - as a smoker, non gym-goer and drinker. There is hope for everyone! And.....obviously I need to wear my hair in pigtails more.

Elisev - According to Ovia I am currently ovulating so I think that heightens the focus....good work on keeping yourself occupied though. That's definitely the way to do it.

[elisev]

Petiteange28, I don't mind the ovulating bit, my hubby doesn't object being put to work! Hhaha! It's the 2WW that is just AWFUL! Just sitting, waiting, nothing you can do. Bloody nightmare.

[Usernamegone]

I'm getting married in October and have a unforgiving wedding dress. I am temped to start trying now as my cycle appears to have come back regular (touches wood) Sod laws If I had waited to come off the pill until October I wouldn't have had a period for 6 months!

[Usernamegone]

And I had my first smiley face today! Arrrrgggghhh I want to try now but I know if I was lucky enough to get caught now I would would be just my luck to get horrific morning sickness and have a vomity wedding!

[Blueberry1]

@usernamegone: If you end up getting pregnant before your wedding, I can recommend a great dressmaker : ) Not sure I have a solution for the vomiting....

[elisev]

Pyjamas81- any sign yet? I did an early Superdrug test today (2 days before AF is due) & got a BFN. Feel a bit disappointed but am off to the gym and then to the Ballet later, so that should keep me distracted!

How is everyone doing today?

[Pyjamas81]

Still no sign of AF (CD32 today and approx 12 dpo) and I also got a BFN Sorry to hear about yours! I feel more deflated than I thought I would - was the first time I've taken a pg test and not felt relief at a BFN (we're on first month where we've properly TTC)

Thinking about going to a spinning class at the gym - worried in case it might affect any potential early goings on, but would also distract me and don't want to put my life on hold!

This is hard

[Pyjamas81]

Actually, have decided not to spin until AF arrives as don't want to blame myself! Going for a long walk with DH instead

[elisev]

Pyjamas81 -exercise, if that's what you already do, is beneficial to conception/pregnancy. In fact, if your body is used to it, stopping can be more of a shock than going. I'm still going to the gym 6 days a week, I don't see any point in putting my life on hold as that would only make me feel worse. X

[Pyjamas81]

6 days a week! I'm impressed! I only go twice a week so not going today won't be a shock, trust me ha ha. I'm going to do my exercise DVD at home so at least it feels like I've done something

[elisev]

Haha- OK, pyjamas81- remember that exercise lowers stress and keeps your body strong- in prep for all the big changes- all positives Have a great day X

[Blueberry1]

@Pyjamas81, I'm a runner and it's not dangerous to run while you're expecting, but you have to adapt to advancing pregnancy/how you feel etc and take medical advice. However it would be inadvisable to start running when pregnant. So keep doing whatever you do normally exercise wise (unless you do extreme sports and I don't think spinning counts!).

And as EliseV said, exercise lowers stress and keeps you strong. The physical effort of giving birth is quite strenuous, so better keep fit in preparation!

Am now on CD25 of what I think is a 26 day cycle and no sign of AF or usual pre-menstrual signs. I say think re cycle length as since I quit the pill it's been a bit erratic, although last 2 months were 26 days.

If no AF tomorrow, I will buy a test to do on Monday or Tuesday, but (due to false alarms and being too au fait with stats of conceiving naturally at 40), I don't believe BFP can happen. It's probably just cycle readjusting.

[Blueberry1]

AF due today (not yesterday; I miscalculated) & I'm missing some usual signs, but have others (tender boobs, but that could be s-t else obviously) I've also been more tired than usual (cut short a not very long run yesterday & got bus home!) and this morning I felt a bit nauseous when I woke up (never happens).

Have bought test and will do it tomorrow if no AF today. Still thinking this is false alarm, as stats of conceiving naturally at 40 are not encouraging (I think I should stop reading them... )

@pyjamas81 - have you gone spinning? How was the long walk? (great weather for it in most of the country!).

[Pyjamas81]

Hi Blueberry - long walk was great And went to the gym yesterday, so at least keeping somewhat active through all this uncertainty!

I'll have my fingers crossed for you for tomorrow - hope AF stays away!

I've just had my third BFN and still no sign of AF at CD34 I'm starting to think I didn't even ovulate. I did get a positive OPK but that doesn't help figure out whether it happened

[Pyjamas81]

Hi Blueberry - long walk was great And went to the gym yesterday, so at least keeping somewhat active through all this uncertainty!

I'll have my fingers crossed for you for tomorrow - hope AF stays away!

I've just had my third BFN and still no sign of AF at CD34 I'm starting to think I didn't even ovulate. I did get a positive OPK but that doesn't help figure out whether it happened

[iCoCo]

Hi All

Can I join, this thread is perfect. I'm 36 and been trying since Dec too, hi petit.

I'm on Cd8 and after getting over another AF it's my favourite week, I no longer care where I am day wise or whether I need to Poas.

Feel for everyone currently in the 2WW. I begin pretending I'm not going to symptom spot, after 8 months I now know sickness, sore boobs etc. are normal and not pregnancy. Good luck to you all who are testing soon.

pyjamas I chart and use fertility friend. It does all the calculations, tells me when I ovulate and I have found it is the best visual chart and would recommend.


Blueberry a fertility check is the next thing I want to look at, did you go private? Is it worth it?

[elisev]

Hi iCoCo, AF showed up last night & where I was disappointed, it's a relief, like you said, to not have to worry about POAS or symptom spot, I feel totally relaxed! I think this cycle will be easier for me as when I'm in my 2WW we will be on holiday in Italy, so I won't be obsessing with early PT's or symptoms, I'll just be enjoying my break!

I think that moving forward, I'm going to wait for a missed period as I spent a fortune on early PT's and it stressed me out!

[iCoCo]

So sorry elisev AF is a bitch. Have lots of treats and then enjoy the next week.

Italy will be amazing and the perfect time over TWW.

I bought the Internet cheapie a from Amazon and POAS lots. Each month I say I won't, but I know they are there, it's my secret addiction, thankfully DH is ace and smiles at the crazy.

[Pyjamas81]

Hi iCoCo should have mentioned, I do chart (my chart is below) but like a total numpty I forgot to temp the day after I got my peak OPK result on CD19 so I'm thinking that's why it's not picking up an ovulation day - or maybe I just didn't ovulate

Sorry AF got you Elise but yes, the upside is that you can relax for a bit! I just want mine to get here now if that's what's going to happen.

[Blueberry1]

Hi iCoco, yes I did go private, I went to Care Fertility (they have clinics across the UK), on advice of a friend who had fertility problems and experienced both NHS & Care Fertility. She noticed a huge difference in terms of how she was treated, what she was offered and how quickly. Ultimately she came to Care too late for them to help her (after losing valuable time with NHS), but she at least then knew fully her situation.

I don't have documents to hand, but they took blood to check for certain hormone levels (which I think also measures egg reserve) and did an ultrasound to check womb, ovaries, fallopian tubes etc. I was told I was still ovulating normally and all hormone levels were within normal range for a woman my age (40). Total cost was around £400 (including lab costs & doctor consultation), but what they do in a fertility assessment is personalised, so could be different. I was advised to continue trying for a few more months and then return if no success.

[iCoCo]

Hi pyjamas I'm no expert on charts, FF updates mine automatically and I love that, your temps do look higher towards the end of the month and your temp on CD18 could be skewing it. I hope you have not had an anovulatory cycle and fingers crossed for you this month to know either way.

Blueberry thanks for the information on the tests, we are in the NW so I have been looking at Care Manchester. It looks like you can do a couples MOT, I originally said I wanted to go in Sept so might look at booking an appointment if this month is a bust. It must be a relief for you to be told everything is ok.

We watched a film last night and there was an accidental pregnancy, with everything I know now, how the hell does that happen so often

[petiteange28]

Hi all,

Happy Monday and apologies for the silence over the weekend but had a jam packed weekend of a 10k race and cooking Sunday lunch for 15 elderly people at a charity yesterday. Exhausted today but meant I didn't think about TTC over the weekend - relief!

I'm just starting the painful 2WW period now. I totally agree with Blueberry1 about the exercise. If I didn't carry on doing that I think I would have gone crazy by now.

Have a good Monday all!

[Blueberry1]

@iCoco - don't you find it ironic that you spend so many years trying to avoid getting pregnant (I remember being 5 days late in my 20s and thinking "oh no") and then when you TTC it turns out to be more difficult than you thought

IF no AF by tomorrow I will be 1 day late assuming cycle has settled on 26 days (as in last few months). Will do test, but am fully expecting BFN.

[iCoCo]

blueberry I feel the same, it's so bloody ironic. In my 20s I knew roughly when I was due but never knew if I was late etc. Then every now and again I would have a panic.

I never knew all the different supplements, rules etc. when TTC. Although I'm glad I didn't have a child in my 20s. I still don't know if I'm old enough yet.

petit good luck with the 2WW. Fingers crossed. Your weekend sounds like a good distraction.

[Blueberry1]

Weighing up (obsessing......)

Might be pregnant:

• several usual AF signs missing eg acne nowhere near as bad as normal
  
• fatigue & some dizziness
  
• tender boobs
  
• felt nauseous this morning for no apparent reason
  
• no sign of AF which is due today
  
• pretty sure we "hit" fertile days this last month
  

Probably not:

• tender boobs could be pre-menstrual
  
• cycle has been a bit erratic since quitting pill so can't be sure when AF due
  
• nausea could be due to sleeping badly (I was too hot last night)
  
• fatigue due to several later than normal nights last week that I may not have fully caught up on
  
• better skin could be due to vigilant use of new spot zapper cream
  
• at my age (nearly 41) chances of conceiving naturally not great
  

So where am I? Totally confused