35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22


I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

[SoozC]

Blimey, @79andnotout, that's very specific! I just seem to have twinges all the time, I've no idea if they relate to anything specific at different points in my cycle! Everyone else seems to be very clued-up about their bodies, I just don't know mine that well, it seems.

[79andnotout]

I'm getting the twinges of womb lining detaching so think AF is imminent. Good luck @SoozC!

OH has suggested we go for three shots in the fertile week this cycle so onwards and upwards :)

[SoozC]

Interesting guys, thanks. Having never been preggers I have nothing to compare this feeling to! Probably a bug though.

Good luck with the results, @Blueberry1. Fx for all healthy.

[PhoebeMouse]

@SoozC the main thing for me was my boobs feeling achey which must’ve started around the day I ovulated and just continued every day. I also felt a sort of bloated feeling in my womb and odd twinges every now and again, so not dissimilar to feelings I normally get before AF but it felt less achey and more just bloated. I kept waking up early too and not being able to get back to sleep - not sure if that was related but it went on for a few weeks! They do say that most women don’t feel anything unusual at all before getting a BFP and that the things we do feel can be really similar to AF coming so it’s so hard to symptom spot!

[coastalchick]

@SoozC - I felt sick at OH's ball then a sort of massive rush, and just had run to bathroom. Felt hot and weird and stomach pains - think that was when conception actually happened.

When was pregnant but before BFP had really tingly nipples and diarrhoea and just felt shattered

[SoozC]

Ooh, @79andnotout, that sounds promising! Fx, keep us updated!

Well done, @Darkstar4855, it sounds like you've made a good effort this month! Fx for you!

Good luck, @Phoebemouse and @coastalchick! When you were preggers how did it feel exactly?

Around 12dpo now, constipation for 2 days and now nausea again today. Still feel 'full' in my stomach. Not sure what's going on as I can't believe I'm preggers, was thinking maybe a stomach bug but not actually been sick and eating okay. Weird.

[Blueberry1]

@79andnotout - maybe you could wait until day 9? My LP is 11-12, so once I started tracking properly, I never tested before DPO12. My only BFP was at DPO14 & I hadn't tested earlier that cycle, so don't know when it might have first shown up.

We're not finding out gender with Harmony. DP was dead against doing so (he didn't with his 1st child either). I genuinely have no preference and this will be our only child, so I was happy to go along with DP. Am more worried about Harmony trisomy results as our respective ages means higher risk.

@darkstar4855 - Excellent on target DTD; glad the OPKs helped. Hope it brings results .

@PhoebeMouse - DTD 5 days in a row you !

@soozc - our body plays tricks doesn't it? I thought my BFP was AF coming; I even told DP this. Then I shocked the hell out of him by showing him a positive test stick at 7am two days later. Poor bloke; he'd barely woken up !

[coastalchick]

Glad all went well blueberry!

Am officially in 2WW and driving self mad. A bit like you @phoebemouse I felt pregnant last time, this time = nothing. Last time we only DTD twice and second time didn't properly hit the mark. This time we've done it 4 times in FW but just think I'm not preggers.

Reckon I'm about 2-3 dpo. God, this is so stressful!!!!

[PhoebeMouse]

I think it is best to try to hang on and test too - the month that I was pregnant before, I remember feeling like i was pregnant (although i did feel like that every month, but every month was slightly different symptoms!) so i tested on what was probably about 9 or 10 dpo and got a negative and it made me feel really down. But when i tested 5 days later on the day AF was due it was a positive. I did both of those tests in the evening too. So I am going to try not to do any testing until AF is roughly due in future to try to save myself distress!

I think I am 6dpo maybe? i only used the cheap CB OPKS which detected my surge last Monday so I think that means I should have ovulated on the Tuesday but i felt mega painful cramps in my ovaries on the Weds night so I'm going for that being ovulation day but am not sure! the confusion resulted in us DTD 5 days in a row! I've told myself I'm not allowed to do a test before a week on Friday (if AF hasn't arrived by then which it should have done if it's coming) but we'll see if my willpower holds out!

[Darkstar4855]

Sorry it's not good news this month @Meggimoo and @Spargle. Keeping my fingers crossed for you @79andnotout and @SoozC.

@Blueberry glad the scan was all fine, hope the test results are good too.

@Janefx40 glad you are enjoying your holiday.

My cycle seems to be opposite to everyone else as I am d1po today. First month using OPKs and I found them really helpful so thank you to everyone who encouraged me to give them a go. I started CD9, got two days low, three days high and then peak on CD14. Definitely easier and less stressful without the guesswork! Anyway we managed to dtd both peak days and used the conceive plus as well so I'm feeling positive, even if there's no BFP for us this month I feel happy that we've given it our best shot this time around.

Now just the dreaded 2ww to get through!

[79andnotout]

Yeah I know it's early to test but as I have a ten day luteal phase it means I'd never get to test until four days after my period is due. Where's the fun in that?

Anyway, one day late today and my temperature is still high, 11 DPO. Fertility Friend is telling me to test but also warning me about erratic cycles so clearly doesn't hold out much hope for me.

Sounds hopeful @SoozC!

Great the scan was all good @Blueberry1, fingers crossed for the Harmony results. Are you finding out the sex too? Hope the cold and UTI clear up quickly.

[SoozC]

Thanks, @Spargle, I'll take that justification! ;)

I'm okay, I just feel so darn pregnant (or what I imagine it to feel like) that I couldn't resist. If I'm not upduffed, I can't imagine what has been causing this strange pressure in my lower abdomen for the last week. I can't remember ever feeling like this before!

But I'll back away from the sticks now!

[Blueberry1]

@janefx40 Croatia is lovely; enjoy!

@meggimoo bad luck on AF . I know that feeling. My body even started trying to trick me by AF being bona fide late by several days on more than one occasion. Grr!

@79andnotout, a pharmacist told me not to test until DPO14 as test might not pick up HCG until then. If you're using cheap tests from DPO7, then you're bound to get BFN even if BFP is on cards!

Scan today was fine; bean now looks like a baby & has grown as it should . Should get Harmony results next Monday (cross fingers for healthy baby!).

In the meantime my sore throat & fuzzy head, which can only be treated with Lockets (even sodding Strepsils are forbidden!) and paracetamol has come back & midwife called to tell me I have a UTI (urinary tract infection; apparently very common in pregnancy) & have to pick up antibiotics from hospital tomorrow. I hadn't noticed any UTI symptoms, but I slept badly last night & felt quite rough today so am wondering if UTI was reason.

Haven't received official job offer documents yet so haven't told recruiter or future employer my predicament...

[Spargle]

@SoozC I never test in the evening, because the “P” element is a bit more dilute than first thing in the morning, thus making a BFN more likely, even when BFN is a false result. It could just be that this has caught you out, particularly as you are really a bit early for testing, I think.

(Welcome to the Justifications section of my mind, by the way. So many excuses for the negative results. Let me know any time you need hope which could conceivably be false, but also might possibly be true, if you squint. 😉 )

[79andnotout]

Yeah think I'd be pretty calm about being 38 and TTC if it wasn't for mother and her mother menopausing at 39. I am a lot healthier than both of them though. I'm hoping that counts for a lot.

@SoozC I'm still holding out hope. I got fifty of those cheap ones so I'll be testing willy nilly till the crimson tide flows. I think I'm in the same mind as @Spargle on that one.

[SoozC]

@79andnotout, I just poas, of course it's bfn. Really silly thing to do, af will turn up in a few days and it's been wasted. I just wonder when our time to be 'lucky' will be. :(

[Meggimoo]

Wise words @Spargle. And thanks for the gp advice, I’m 36 so I’ll pop along. Can’t do any harm I guess and it’s good to get the ball rolling if we will need any anything.

[Spargle]

@79andnotout yes, AF arrived a couple of hours ago. I was then called home from work unexpectedly, so that was good, at least! Also, I have now officially managed a 13-day luteal phase, which is fine.

I don’t mind POAS, when it’s with cheap tests. It means you start when disappointment is guaranteed, and then nothing changes. It dashes hopes gradually, not suddenly.

@Janefx40 I agree. Waiting for something which will happen is easy. Waiting for something which may never happen is very hard.

[79andnotout]

Oh and I have been POAS since 7 DPO so I also need to kick that habit. It's a pain having such late ovulation in my short cycles, I feel compelled to test too early otherwise I'll never get to test!

[79andnotout]

enjoy the holiday, @janefx40. I love croatia.

Hope the tests go well @blueberry1 and great news about the job! Hope the mat leave negotiations go well.

Sorry to hear AF got you on this miserable and weird Monday, @Meggimoo. And you @Spargle if the temp dip is correct. I am 10 DPO and also at the point where my temp dipped last cycle, so looks like I'm going to make it another day or so. I have the usual luteal phase sore boobs. Can't complain though, think I'll need a few more cycles under my belt first. Fingers crossed for you @SoozC!

Glad everything has settled down at home @Meggimoo and you're both taking the redundancy in your stride.

@Darkstar yeah friday nights are hard to resist temptation with the booze, but now I've got several months under my belt all I can focus on is the positives. I mix a bit of tonic water into some alcohol free wine if I really miss it (they are disgustingly sweet otherwise). Seems to do the job. Massively reduced my anxiety (I'm not an anxious person naturally, I just seem to get five day existential doom hangovers now I'm in my thirties).

Was going to go for a run but this wind has put me off.

[SoozC]

Ooh, enjoy the holiday, @Janefx40! I'm the same, no idea when I ov'd so not sure when af might arrive.

Thanks for the little sprinkles of pma, guys, it helps keep my chin up!

[Janefx40]

@Spargle @Meggimoo @SoozC sorry you're all feeling down. It's a tough old battle this one and can get so depressing. Urgh. If only we could know whether or not we'll get there in the end - it would be so much easier if we knew for sure it would happen eventually we just had to wait for our time.

@Blueberry1 hope harmony went well and that all works out with the new job.

I didn't do OPKs this month so not sure how many dpo I am. I thought it might reduce the stress (on both of us but DP particularly). It has sort of but now I'm getting closer to AF it's odd not to know when I'm due. My ovulation day can vary from cd13 to cd17 so there's quite a window.

Am on holiday tho in Croatia which is lovely x

[Spargle]

@SoozC yes, I am the queen of symptoms. I managed to get a score of 76 for my symptoms on Fertility Friend (I think it’s maybe supposed to be something like a probability of being pregnant based on your symptoms), which was quite exciting. My temperature dropped below its pre-ovulation level this morning, though, so AF is now on her way, probably this evening. Still, my luteal phase is at least a day longer than last month, so it’s not all bad. (Yes, I did five pregnancy tests. Depressing, of course.)

I, too, am feeling down about the whole process. It’s been an uncomfortable two weeks, physically. It would be worth it for a BFP, but it’s galling to have nothing to show for it.

Hope your symptoms are more authentic than mine!

Good luck with the week, @Blueberry1. I hope it goes very well indeed.

@Meggimoo if you are on this thread, you should see the GP now you’ve been trying for 6 months - they say you should ask for help after 6 months over the age of 35. I am one cycle behind you, so I’ll be off there next month.

[Meggimoo]

@Blueberry1 that is great news on both fronts! Well done on the job and almost at that first scan milestone

I know the feeling @Sooz. Also pretty down in the dumps. It doesn’t help that AF arrived today on a horrible Monday morning. So that’s another cycle gone... that will be 6 months for us now, is there any point in going to the gp yet or would they just tell me to wait another few months?

[Blueberry1]

@Sooz - my pre BFP symptoms (from 12 DPO) were sore boobs & cramps. This was not much different to AF except timing (AF signs would have usually started earlier). Pharmacist told me not to test before 14DPO as HCG can be too low to detect before then. fingers crossed

As for me, week has just begun & many things could go wrong eg scan/screening could reveal problems, potential new employer could decide they don't want person who'll go on maternity leave 4-5 months after starting etc