35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22


I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

[elisev]

I've never been maternal either! It only really kicked in when I met my DH. I have serious mother/daughter issues and only on meeting him did I feel I'd found someone I could trust enough to create a life with. That being said, I'm still not very child oriented- my DH is though so I figure it'll all work itself out!

[iCoCo]

I think we are all very lucky. I'm still shocked I want children. Thank you elisev for setting this 35+ thread. it's nice to know I'm normal

[elisev]

iCoCo - this thread has worked out better for me than I could be imagined! Made me feel normal too!

[Blueberry1]

Really great to hear from the rest of you; great reassurance that am not an odd-bod!

No sign of AF.... Will wait a few days and do test again if needed (am 99% sure it won't be; trying to take on DP's "don't get your hopes up too much" advice...)

[Pyjamas81]

I would be a total head case blueberry if it wasn't for DH keeping things in perspective for me ha ha

Am now enjoying a nice cold guilt free beer and making plans for this weekend

[Blueberry1]

@Pyjamas81 I went to running club this evening and had a cider in the pub afterwards : )

[petiteange28]

Excellent work blueberry on the run, and on the cider

I'm on CD 25 and keep trying to symptom spot, of which there seem to be none!

[Blueberry1]

@petiteange PG or AF signs?

CD28, 2 days late according to last few month's cycle. Still no AF, still swollen boobs. Buggered if I know what's going on.

Going to have a glass of wine at my birthday dinner with DP this week (don't know where we're going but doubt it will be wine-free restaurant!)

[petiteange28]

Trying to spot PG symptoms but just getting miserable.

Blueberry1 got my fingers crossed for you.

Also, I work in HR and literally just had someone come to inform me they were 3 months pregnant. Sometimes I hate my job

[Blueberry1]

@petiteange feel for you... At my brothers 2 weeks ago, a friend of his was there with 7 week old baby conceived by accident grrrr

[iCoCo]

blueberry loving the cider and running vibe, there is nothing nicer than a drink after. Fingers crossed AF stays away.

petitange I've got everything crossed for you, no symptoms is also a symptom and hoping its your month.

pyjamas hope you made some good plans for the weekend and the beer went down well and you feel ready to face another month.

In my world at the moment, everyone is either pregnant or has a baby, I would hate to work in HR and have to smile petiteange.

Well I'm CD10 of any where from CD27-33 and gearing up for fertile week. We really want to book a holiday in January but I keep putting it off in case I'm pregnant and the other concern is Zika. We have already had 3 months off TTC this year after a Mexico holiday already and if I don't fall pregnant by Jan I don't want another 3 months off. Although would Sod's law work, if I booked it I'd get a BFP?

[elisev]

iCoCo- why don't you book to go somewhere that doesn't have zika? The world's a big place and only a tiny spot is affected by this. We too went to Mexico this year and put off TTC as a result, now we're just booking places that don't have zika.

[Blueberry1]

iCoCo - we went to Peru; lovely place & no zika virus

[iCoCo]

You are right The Caribbean was the top of my list, but ruled out. At the moment Thailand is probably doable, there have been zika cases this year but not in tourist hotspots. We stuck to Europe this summer to ensure we missed Zika. (I cannot live without holidays)

At the moment I find myself saying, well we might be pregnant so wait and see, this applies to changing jobs, type of car to buy next etc. We are about to put our house on the market and we are working out where we want to live by looking at the schools in the area.

I have this fear of change, just in case we get a BFP. When we should be living as normal, not waiting for what if.

Sorry for the moan - I'm off to look at flight prices.

[elisev]

iCoCo, I understand your struggle because I saw myself starting to put my life on hold- in only month 1! I think it's the worst thing you could do and will only make things feel much harder and time go much slower.

I recommend that you just try to live your life as normal, whilst trying your very best to conceive, and, when it comes, it'll be an added bonus. Things have a way of working themselves out. X

[petiteange28]

elisev and iCoCo Having been trying for 8 months (9 if this month isn't a BFP) it isn't worth putting your life on hold. I keep signing up for races, events, holidays etc and thinking 'I'll deal with it if I am pregnant but likely I am not and I'm not putting my life on hold'.

In saying this I definitely think you should still go elsewhere to Zika areas. If you like the Caribbean why not go to Mauritius or even somewhere like Sardinia/Sicily - it's where all the celebs seem to be going at the moment so it must be good

[iCoCo]

Thank you elisev and petiteange. I don't normally put it into words like that. Time goes so fast. We began in Dec 15 with a 3 month break from Feb so although we are in month 9 it's really 6.

Currently looking at flights

[Blueberry1]

@eliseV, @iCoCo I haven't put my life on hold since starting TTC, although did make changes eg vitamins, cut down alcohol.

I did panic a bit earlier this year as thought I might be PG 5 weeks before running a marathon for charity (& I'd pestered loads of people to sponsor me!). Anyway, I wasn't & I smashed my previous time

[Pyjamas81]

iCoCo - plans are mainly revolving around the pub before I have to behave again ha ha.

I've been having the same issues around TTC/putting life in hold. I've decided to just carry on as normal as it was stressing me out too much. However, my main issue at the moment is planning my life around fertile week! Especially since fertile week seems to be annoyingly unpredictable Have now had to postpone going to see a friend as it now falls slap bang on FW. I told her the truth and she thankfully understood as she's been in my shoes before! And DH's dad is now staying with us during FW - he sleeps downstairs but still a bit off putting! Might hide his hearing aid....

If I wasn't 35, I'd be more relaxed about missing months here and there, but don't want to pass up any chances!

[iCoCo]

I bet it was bittersweet blueberry knowing you were not pregnant for your race, well done on your PB.

I agree pyjamas, age does add pressure, we haven't been married long, if we had met and married in our 20s we would have had a fair few years partying and travelling before beginning this journey. It's a shame you are cancelling things, but will be worth it in the end. Definitely hide the hearing aid.

[SoozC]

Good to hear people having similar experiences! Mine and DP's lives are on hold effectively because I can't change jobs/move to where we want to live until I know where I am with a pregnancy. I'm a teacher so combining the three times a year we're allowed to resign with timing being in post long enough to receive maternity pay, it's a nightmare. But I am where I am for a couple of years I reckon, fingers crossed that includes a baby!

[Blueberry1]

@Sooz am fixed term contract covering permanent staff member on secondment, who is now expecting 2nd child. This means my contract will be extended to cover her mat leave, but if I'm PG (no AF yet despite BFN yesterday), then that will mess things up a bit. Re maternity pay (if it comes to that), I think saving like mad before mat leave will be order of the day!

[petiteange28]

Wow - that is tough SoozC and Blueberry1 the job thing I guess you have to take into account. Although my mum tried for several years to have me and was told she couldn't have children so she left her job and moved to another one and as some sort of miracle she got pregnant. Not ideal timing!!! Obviously I'm not suggesting you quit your jobs but sometimes things happen because they are meant to at that time.

I'm away for two weeks in September in South Africa so I'm giving it until the end of September and if I've had no luck then it will have been 10 months....I'm off to see a specialist (although I might tell a few porkies regarding how long we've been trying)!!

[Blueberry1]

@petiteange friend told me of mid 30s couple who tried and failed to conceive for more than 1 year, then decided to fulfill (postponed) dream of living in Latin America. Once all arrangements made for their living abroad adventure, wife discovered she was pregnant!

Also re specialist appointment, NHS advice is to consult your GP if you're over 35 and TTC for more than 6 months, so no need to lie. GP may order some tests, but initially unlikely to refer you to a specialist, although may do depending on test results. On the advice of a friend who had fertility problems, I wanted to check my fertility almost as soon as we began TTC so I went private.

Now CD29 of (allegedly) 26 day cycle, still got swollen boobs, unusually clear skin for this time in cycle and no AF. Confusing! Discussed with DP and we decided I better stop drinking alcohol again just in case (oops for pint of cider in pub on Tuesday....)

[SoozC]

Don't worry about it too much, Blueberry, it takes a few weeks for blood supply to be shared so a glass of cider 10dpo is fine!