35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22


I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

[iCoCo]

Sounds promising, only one thing to do POAS

[Blueberry1]

@iCoco: Tomorrow morning (test bought at weekend is in bathroom cabinet).

[iCoCo]

Fingers crossed for tomorrow

[SoozC]

Definitely fingers crossed, Blueberry! I have none of those symptoms so am not holding my breath for Saturday!

[Blueberry1]

@iCoco @SoozC thanks!

Still no AF. Now boring DP to death ("I don't need an hourly update"). But he also said "I don't want you to get your hopes up too much" (sweet!).

Mostly, I think this is probably false alarm cos am not that lucky. But I will be nervous tomorrow if still no AF and I then do test.

[iCoCo]

Fingers crossed this morning blueberry

[Pyjamas81]

How did it go blueberry? Have my fingers crossed for you

Well AF got me today just after I got another BFN - double whammy let down! So that cycle was 34 days. I'm disappointed, but glad I can get cracking on cycle 2 and get a break from POAS for a little while!

[Blueberry1]

BFN (which is what I was expecting)
Still no sign of AF, so will wait a few more days and test again if needed. Not holding my breath...

[Pyjamas81]

Ah sorry to hear that blueberry - a BFN is always a disappointment however much it's expected. But, you're not out until AF puts in an appearance

[Blueberry1]

@pyjamas81, sorry to hear things didn't happen for you this month. Boo : (

Despite lack of AF, am not particularly hopeful. Irregular cycles have a lot to answer! Grrrr

Oh well at least I can have some wine when DP takes me out on my birthday later this week. Obviously, would rather not be able to drink....

[Pyjamas81]

I hear you on irregular cycles! I am never EVER going on the pill or getting an implant in my arm again - they've caused mayhem!

I've still got my fingers crossed for you

[elisev]

Pyjamas81 - it is a weird relief when AF turns up right? Disappointing but so nice not to have to think about stuff for a couple a weeks! Better luck to both of us for this cycle!

Blueberry- we've all still got crossed fingers for you!

[Pyjamas81]

Yep, it is somewhat of a relief elise! Nice to be done with the obsessive symptom spotting for a while. Must remember next time that symptoms mean nothing until there's a BFP and the mind is devious!

[petiteange28]

Blueberry fingers crossed for you...It's not over until the fat lady sings (or your AF actually shows up).

Sorry for the arrival of the AF pyjamas and elisev. I get what you mean though...the 2WW is painful and then when you get your AF it's almost a sense of a new start. I've had that for 9 months now so I'm fully used to it. The AF arrival is also a good excuse for a bottle of wine, that's the cycle I seem to have gotten in to! Right, no baby so time to drown the sorrows before we go again

[Blueberry1]

@pyjamas81, @EliseV am now giving up on symptom spotting as I'm obviously reading far too much into nothing (as DP has been saying, not unkindly....).

@pyjamas81, BFN was kind of a relief (although not over yet...) as if BFP, I think I would have gone into a panic! Was already wondering how I would explain not drinking alcohol when I meet friends to celebrate birthday next week. Was thinking of pretending I was drinking only G&T (I do like them), but actually having just T (& asking DP to help me with the deception!).

[petiteange28]

@blueberry1 I completely get you on that....I'm a huge wine lover and my friends know I like a drink so if I suddenly stopped it would be so obvious. Maybe I have to start drinking something like lime, gin and tonic so that if I ever do actually get pregnant I can just miss out the gin

[elisev]

Oh gosh how I love that you're all talking about drinking- when AF showed up, my first though (after the disappointment...obviously!) was - ' great, now I can drink on our holiday in Italy at the end of the month'! Haha! It will be very obvious to those closest to me the second I say no to a drink!

[iCoCo]

So sorry pyjamas AF is a bitch. Fingers crossed for next month.

blueberry I was feeling positive for you, like pyjamas says your not out yet and I have everything crossed. I hate that pure white stick. I like your positivity, lots of wine and cake for your birthday.

I'm with you all in the drinking. After AF has arrived and I've got over my sulk, I realise I can drink and not have to hide it. I'm certain I will be outed straightaway if I'm ever lucky enough to be upduff but I will gleefully think up some great excuses to see people's faces as I am not known for my maternal side.

My stress free part of the month is nearly over, I'm CD9 and wondering whether I can be arsed to POAS from tomorrow, part of me says to have a "chilled" month and not care, however control freak ICoCo cannot think of anything more absurd.

[Pyjamas81]

So sorry pyjamas AF is a bitch. Fingers crossed for next month. flowers

blueberry I was feeling positive for you, like pyjamas says your not out yet and I have everything crossed. I hate that pure white stick. I like your positivity, lots of wine and cake for your birthday.

I'm with you all in the drinking. After AF has arrived and I've got over my sulk, I realise I can drink and not have to hide it. I'm certain I will be outed straightaway if I'm ever lucky enough to be upduff but I will gleefully think up some great excuses to see people's faces as I am not known for my maternal side.

My stress free part of the month is nearly over, I'm CD9 and wondering whether I can be arsed to POAS from tomorrow, part of me says to have a "chilled" month and not care, however control freak ICoCo cannot think of anything more absurd.

AF is indeed a bitch and seems to be more painful than it has been for the first three cycles after coming off the pill!

I'm exactly like you - known for my love of wine and not having a maternal bone in my body. Actually, I've always been so anti-kids, it may work in my favour as people may just assume I'm ill! Or I'll be instantly rumbled the minute I turn down a drink ha ha. I'll just have to have other plans for a while I think and avoid people and social situations in general!

[Pyjamas81]

Argh - copied and pasted last message so I could remember what I was responding to then forgot to remove it! Sorry

[iCoCo]

Pyjamas I'm glad it's not only me who is TTC and not maternal. DH is much more so, so close people may guess but everyone else would just believe what I said (hopefully).

pyjamas Drink plenty of wine and nice foods tonight to mask the pain. I always equate a painful AF with a working womb, so hopefully your hormones are getting back to normal. I have no clue about TTC and why our bodies do not just behave like the bloody text book from school so the above is bollocks.

[Pyjamas81]

Yep, same with my DH iCoCo! He likes kids, I've always been a bit 'meh' about them, always avoided holding any babies if they were around, I don't 'play' and have always been more obsessed with animals than kids, but, like my mum, I know I will be different with mine! I hope...

Do you know what, I was telling myself that today about pain being relative to things working properly. Probably utter bullshit, but it makes me feel better! I used to double up with pain when I got my period at school, which all disappeared when I went on birth control at 16, but then again those periods were never 'real'!

[iCoCo]

I'm the same pyjamas at 16 it was a hot water bottle, bed and strong painkillers and I would have given anything for a 3 day AF and no pain, but then again at 16 I thought I'd be hanging in Ibiza at 36 as there was no way I would be one of those boring adults who want a mortgage and a people carrier. ( still thought that at 32).

I agree, my own (one DC) will be fine, but watching DH with kids is hilarious and he likes pushing prams , I just hope he likes changing nappies as much.

[Blueberry1]

@pyjamas81 & @iCoco - I'm the opposite; I always wanted kids and most people know that, but I didn't meet DP til I was 39, so I guess most wouldn't ask too many questions now given our ages (am nearly 41 & DP is older & Dad to a teenager).

Only a few people (my Mum, brother & best friend; didn't even tell my Dad...) actually know we're actively TTC. A few other friends/relatives may be curious as I've never told them I changed my mind about having kids since I met DP (2 years ago), but they're discreet enough not to probe. However, if I suddenly stopped drinking alcohol altogether they might be suspicious! But as I regularly go out and drink only soft drinks, perhaps non-drinking might be less noticeable?

[Pyjamas81]

Blueberry - if your friends are used to seeing you have soft drinks on occasion, then you're well on your way to fooling them! I basically have to avoid all my friends altogether ha ha

We have decided that we would ideally like 2 DCs, so the time pressure is on (I'm 35, DH is 41) - gah.