35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22


I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

[PhoebeMouse]

Sounds very positive, @79andnotout and yes @Janefx40 i think it is ok if it mostly comes out too haha it can't be helped! but some will have stuck in there!

I got a smiley face on the OPK this morning, hurray! I am still going to see the GP on Wednesday though about my continuing sore boobs. They were extra painful during last night but maybe the upcoming ovulation explains that. I'm sure they're not supposed to hurt ALL the time though so hopefully they can help on weds!

Does anyone know if you can use the cheaper Clear Blue OPKs again next cycle? their website says you can use the more expensive purple ones again but it doesn't say anything about the pink ones. I've still got 5 left so don't really want to waste them if possible!!

[Janefx40]

Hiya

@PhoebeMouse I think you can use them next cycle yes. You're not meant to use the digital reader thingy with more tests than were in the box but you can use it until you finish the pack. So if you buy a new box of tests you should use the digi reader that comes in that box.

I have been and it definitely works (I know it has been accurate because of ov pain and length of my cycles)

Xxx

[PhoebeMouse]

Great, thanks @Janefx40 ! fingers crossed i can get another month out of this pack! (not that i'm cheap or anything!! )

[BougieQueen]

Hi all,

Yes feeling a lot better and managed to enjoy my weekend. Still have a few twinges in tummy but nothing major now. My boobs are still bigger than normal though so hoping that goes down soon.

Good to hear some positive news from the rest of you ladies which is keeping me encouraged. Trying to get back to normal as quickly as possible. When should I expect my next AF after a miscarriage? It's all a bit topsy turvy at the moment so not sure if I should be dtd with hubs immediately once all the blood has cleared up of wait until next flow is complete.

[PhoebeMouse]

Hi @BougieQueen I'm glad to hear you are starting to feel a bit better. Keep looking after yourself! I had the surgical procedure for miscarriage so I'm not sure if that makes things any different, but my first AF came 29 days after my surgery. The information they gave me said it should arrive between 4 and 6 weeks afterwards. They also told me not to DTD until all bleeding had stopped, in case there is a risk of infection. other than that it is totally fine to start trying straight away, just that if you wait until after the first AF then dating is much clearer if you fell pregnant that cycle. We just started straight away but AF came anyway so in a way that is a good thing as it cuts out any confusion! I was also asked to take a pregnancy test 3 weeks after the miscarriage to make sure i had a negative result before trying again, to confirm that everything has re-set. although i took one after 10 days and it was already negative!

[Meggimoo]

Good to hear you are feeling better @BoogieQueen.

I’m pretty sure my ovulation was late this time (cd 18) and that it seems to vary a bit for me too. I’ve read that a short luteal Phase isn’t a good thing though I’m not really clear why. @Blueberry1 it’s reassuring to hear you’ve been told otherwise.
On the plus side since ovulation was a few days later than anticipated I decided to take a leaf out of @JaneFx book and get my seduction pants on so at least there’s an actual chance of something happening.
Can’t believe you’re mum told you that @Blueberry....hilarious! 🙈

[Darkstar4855]

Fingers crossed for the job @Blueberry1

@BougieQueen glad things are settling down on the physical side. I have heard you should have a negative pregnancy test or a normal AF before trying again to be sure the miscarriage is complete, hopefully won't be too long for you.

@79andnotout sounds like things are going in the right directoon, really pleased for you.

@janefx40 excellent job with the seduction and as others have said I think you're still in with a good chance, you only need a small number to get through!

@Phoebemouse, hope the GP can help. I had really bad sore boobs with my last period and it was not fun so I can sympathise, must be very frustrating that it's not settling.

I am day 8 now and getting ready to start OPKs for the first time. I've been reading the instructions for the CB advanced ones and they say you can test more than once a day when you get the smily face. Does anyone do this or do you find once a day is enough? Don't want to waste the test sticks but don't want to miss peak fertility either! Any advice appreciates!

[Cinnamonstoothbrush]

Morning all,
Fingers crossed for you @Janefx40
Thank you @79andnotout- I'm opk-ing almost as we speak! I started early as I think I missed ovulation last month. Tested cd8 empty circle and then cd9 empty circle but had ewcm. Then tested cd10 and had fixed smiley. Why happened to high fertility?!
Dtd but worried I missed it- tried the previous 2 nights but DH just started new job and really not in the mood. So last night I also took a leaf out of @Jane's book...

[Blueberry1]

@Darkstar4855 @cinnamonstoothbrush I never used OPKs more than once a day (always upon waking) and when we were TTC naturally, fertility clinic didn't advise otherwise. I never missed peak fertility although no of days of high fertility did vary (from 2-6, but typically 4). This is no doubt because I have a reliable (always ovulate, AF never usually 7 days) cycle, but quite irregular!

[Janefx40]

Just put my earphones in to block out a colleague banging on about how glad she was she didn't wait to have kids in her 40s. I tried (and failed) to shut her up so just walked away. Why does that stuff make me feel shit. Maybe I am too old but I can't be any younger. She didn't mean anything by it, I know. But it still makes me panic x

[PhoebeMouse]

@Janefx40 Ugh just ignore her! What could be wrong with waiting until you're in your 40s anyway? I'm really glad I didn't have a child any earlier - for a start it wouldn't have been with my DP and having a child with any of my previous partners would have been a big mistake! and this is the only time in my life I've ever felt vaguely ready for it! We're more settled and wise and prepared, and still have plenty of life in us!

[Janefx40]

Thanks @PhoebeMouse you are right! Would have been a disaster with my exes too!

[coastalchick]

totally agree with this one ladies. Most important thing is that you're ready and with the right DP, not what your age is!!!!

[Darkstar4855]

Thanks @Blueberry1 that's really helpful, don't want to waste the test sticks! Got my first flashing smily this morning so seems like they're working.

[79andnotout]

Hey everyone.

This TWW sure drags, doesn't it?! I'm keeping an eye out for an implantation dip on my temp charts but all my usual PMS symptoms are in place already so I'm not really expecting much, and that's fine. I'm currently happy just to have been in with a chance. In contrast to everyone else, I think all my exes were lovely and have made great fathers, it was me who was a PITA! I've matured and mellowed a lot in my later thirties. I don't think I was in the right frame of mind to be a mother before now. Unfortunately lots of people just can't see things other than their way of doing it. Yes, in an ideal world we would have all started earlier, but, well done you for all your ducks lining up in a row for you to do so. I can't be too hard on people though, as I'm sure I say insensitive things to people all the time without realising it.

Congratulations @Blueberry on being made permanent, and the good job interviews.

What did your doctor say about your sore boobs @PhoebeMouse? Mine just suggested I went back on the pill, which I did, but obviously that's not much help to me now.

@Darkstar4855 I was using a combination of CBAF testing in the morning and supplementing with internet cheapies. The last two months I got my LH surge around 8pm after a few days of "high" fertility on the CB sticks, and then the LH levels seemed to stay quite high for two days after that, which is when the CB monitor read at "peak". So, the internet cheapies detect first for me.

@Meggimoo I ovulate around CD16 and have a 25/26 day cycle which could be an issue, but currently I'm a bit more concerned about my barely there cervical mucus. Although it's too early to worry about anything yet.

I've been enjoying more fertility friday podcasts in the bath and on long drives @Spargle. Me and OH even listened to one about sperm quality over dinner last night, and pulled up his results again and it made him feel very happy as his are way above average. He's absolutely convinced I'm pregnant now with his super sperm. If only it were that easy! Anyway, at least he's showing an interest. Although mention mucus and he's out the door.

Glad to hear you are on the up @BougieQueen, and starting to feel better.

How are you others doing? @SoozC @justmeonly @Flev @si1ver?

[PhoebeMouse]

@79andnotout I'm just starting my TWW too so I feel your pain! plus we are going on a little break next week which leaves me feeling bad about drinking any alcohol, but think I am going to have to allow myself the odd glass of wine with my meals otherwise I'll be annoyed for not letting myself enjoy the holiday properly if AF then arrives as soon as we get home!

The doctor wasn't too helpful about the sore boobs. I knew I should have hung on to get the same GP I had before, but the booking process is so ridiculously difficult at my doctors that I just grabbed the first one at a convenient time and it was with a doctor that looked like he had only just finished uni and was scared of me coming in there and talking about my boobs (or maybe i just felt awkward!) He just sort of asked me why I was worried about it! and then he saw that I had previously booked to have day 1-3 hormone tests but cancelled them when I got pregnant before, so he has booked those back in for me. So at least I've got those booked and they should show up anything to worry about.

It was interesting with using the OPKs for the first time, the morning I got my smiley face, my boobs were much more sore that morning and the next morning, so maybe they are just being a bit more sensitive until things fully settle down after the miscarriage. Could potentially save me money on OPKs though!?

[Spargle]

I agree with the exes being potential good fathers. I’m very glad not to have that kind of connection with them now, though! It’s so much easier to have a clean break.

I’m at an uncomfortable point in the 2ww. I ovulated early, so AF could arrive sooner than I am prepared for (I’ve not re-sterilised my mooncup, and I’m away for the weekend). I’m at 10DPO, and this time last month my temperature had started falling a bit. So far this month, it’s stayed high. I’ve had weird cramps for a few days, and my cervix has gone a bit strange. Basically, my hopes are high, and will probably be dashed against the rocks very soon. Last month, when I knew I had no hope, it was more comfortable.

The drinking thing is a bit of a problem. I think that before implantation occurs, it can’t harm the baby, but it might make it less likely that it will implant (which is a kind of harm!). I’m celebrating my baby sister’s 21st birthday this weekend. She knows we like gin, so she’s got it in. I hope she likes it too! I’m mostly just tasting DH’s alcoholic drinks, and trying not to have any of my own...

[79andnotout]

Hey @Spargle, that sounds promising! You should have implanted by now though, I guess? I'd test, but that's just me.

I gave up drinking earlier in the year as I found myself slowly easing into a booze hole (I think I was sad due to OH ongoing refusal to contemplate children combined with late thirties crisis) and decided it was time to draw a line under it. It has been quite handy to shield the TTC attempts, as no one questions my not drinking anymore. Also, I now look about ten years younger which is a nice side benefit.

@PhoebeMouse great you're booked in for more tests, but yeah not surprised the docs weren't helpful with the sore boobs. I think it's just cyclical pain and you're expected to get over it. Hopefully yours isn't here to stay, but at least it might be useful to pinpoint ovulation, as you say! I keep trying to cut down processed sugar to see if that helps but it's my sole remaining vice and I've got a major sweet tooth so that's not going very well.

[Meggimoo]

In a similar place @Spargle I think. Not 100% sure but think I’m 8/9 dpo and feeling particularly symptomless this cycle. I only have mildly sore boobs but that could be because I keep prodding them to see if they’re sore!
DH is now officially a house husband. He’s looking for other stuff obviously but now that the messy bit of leaving is done we’re both much more relaxed so if this cycle doesn’t work out I guess that puts us in a more positive place for November. AF due Tuesday for me.
@79andnotout sorry to hear everything was just making you sad, that’s totally understandable. It takes strength to recognise that something’s not helping and stopping it. And looking younger is always a bonus!!

[SoozC]

@79andnotout and everyone, sorry I've been quiet, I had Ofsted at school (pleasing outcome although stressful at the time), but I have been keeping up on the thread.

Plus no news to report really except symptoms in my head and/or probably totally unrelated to potential pregnancy! I'm about 8dpo, been feeling funny in my abdomen, pressure when sitting/lying in the evenings, smell of cigarette smoke made me feel queasy the other evening, bit of back ache. But it all started far too soon for me to be pregnant so I'm probably just unwell generally.

[Darkstar4855]

Fingers crossed for all of you on your 2ww, hopefully there'll be some BFPs this month!

@79andnotout well done on giving up the alcohol, I wish I was that strong! I can stay off quite happily during my 2ww but can never resist a glass of my favourite wine as consolation when AF comes. Interesting about the OPKs - I have a few cheap Sainsburys ones that I bought before I heard that the CB ones were better. I might try using them in the evenings just out of interest to see how they compare.

[Blueberry1]

Crossing my fingers for some more BFPs soon...

In the meantime, I am 10 weeks, have Harmony test & scan this afternoon and just got offered the job I wanted . Have said yes provisionally to recruiter (don't have official offer, contract or conditions yet) and warned my (past job) referees.

Called Maternity Action helpline (must make donation!) & had it confirmed I'd be entitled to 39 weeks maternity leave at £140/week paid via job centre, but nothing from new employer. However adviser thought it was reasonable (as I would be giving up 6 months enhanced maternity pay) to ask them to pay me the 6 weeks at 90% (won't get this from job centre) and to request only 6 months maternity leave. Discussed financial implications with DP & we both feel OK with that scenario.

So lots of things going on this week! Hopefully by the end of the week pregnancy is confirmed as viable & I'm celebrating (with Elderflower?) a new job .

[SoozC]

I'm about 10-12 dpo, had some "symptoms" but I'm sure they're nothing to do with being pregnant. Just waiting for af so we can start the cycle again. Feeling a bit down about it all TBH.

Glad to great everything is going well for you, @Blueberry1

[SoozC]

Glad to hear, even!

[Blueberry1]

@Sooz - my pre BFP symptoms (from 12 DPO) were sore boobs & cramps. This was not much different to AF except timing (AF signs would have usually started earlier). Pharmacist told me not to test before 14DPO as HCG can be too low to detect before then. fingers crossed

As for me, week has just begun & many things could go wrong eg scan/screening could reveal problems, potential new employer could decide they don't want person who'll go on maternity leave 4-5 months after starting etc