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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
Littlechocolatebiscuit · 11/06/2015 22:20

Sorry to hear that feather Flowers

Ain626 · 11/06/2015 22:20

Little the fertility friend app works it out for you. But I believe it's when there has been a rise in temp for 3 days.

I'm temping every day at the min, but I started mid cycle this cycle so in the 'trying to see a pattern' stage.

Ain626 · 11/06/2015 22:23

feather I don't know what to say. Hugs. Flowers

honeysucklejasmine · 11/06/2015 22:26

So sorry to hear Feather, that's awful. Flowers Will it take long to get hcg confirmation? Sad

MyBlackCat · 11/06/2015 22:27

So sorry feather, that really is shit Thanks

lil I'm 18 months into the ttc journey albeit with a mc 5/6 months in, I just feel inadequate, think I need a break from it whilst we get the tests etc to hopefully find out what the problem is Angry

honeysucklejasmine · 11/06/2015 22:31

Oh, Ain, at Brownies we are making coasters using wall tiles and permanent markers. Will send them home with a little note suggesting they varnish them to preserve the design.

FeatheredTail · 11/06/2015 22:34

I'll have blood taken tomorrow and results should be with midwife for Monday. So a real shitter of a weekend ahead.Sad

lildottie · 11/06/2015 22:44

I swear jsers are getting an unfair share of MCs. this can't be representative of the overall population. so fucking unfair Thanks for you feathered

5hell · 11/06/2015 22:47

Sorry feathered :(
My hosp/epu appointments for my mc usually managed to get blood tests back same day so id ask if they can try for friday. ..it might not help much but might make weekend less stressful Flowers

lildottie · 11/06/2015 22:49

sorry black phone hadn't refreshed. it does get easier once you fet referred but the waiting is a bitch. I could never have a break as the "what if" was too much fore (as in what if that was the month it would've worked). what tests have you had so far? you are entitled to day21 bloods (at 7dpo not day 21) and sa. some drs do day2/3 but I didn't as they did an amh test with my day 21. if any of those indicate problems you are entitled to a referral regardless of time trying.

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 11/06/2015 23:20

Feather I really feel for you having to wait weekend. My first hcg levels on Sunday were low but it took till yesterday to have it confirmed (scan and bloods). Was it private scan or EPU?
I'm back to EPU for a repeat hcg tomorrow. Saw GP advice to get "rat arsed tonight", half heartedly tried.
Black Flowers

justtheonethen · 11/06/2015 23:34

feather oh you poor darling. I don't know what to say. How fucking unfair. Hugs for you. Let us know if we can do anything for you.

justtheonethen · 11/06/2015 23:36

Thank you honey!

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 12/06/2015 00:42

5hell my last post was meant to read crappy, not chappy. bloody phone and predictive text!!

So sorry to hear your news feather

FeatheredTail · 12/06/2015 03:14

The scan was private - was a reassurance scan.

Feel in limbo so will ask about same day results. I don't know whether to try to see GP tomorrow as well. He wrote out bloods referral for me to pick up tomorrow.

Really wasn't expecting this and taking it far worse than I thought I might as far as I had thought about it as a possibility.

Just need to get through tomorrow - have to speak at and event in the evening so need to write speech and get my face sorted so I can network. No choice - my project and people coming from all over country. 6-8pm. So I can break down after that.

Lying here in bed and even my last remaining symptom (needing to pee all the time) has dried up.

Re: bloods - how would I get them every 48 hours? Services generally closed on Sunday. Also working on a trip tue/wed night away from home. Again, my project so can't get out of it. Would cost project and delay too much. Only silver lining is ill be staying with my best friend overnight, not in a faceless hotel.

Really wish I had told people in real life. Will tell people if the inevitable happens but wish I had the support already there.

Illiria · 12/06/2015 03:48

Feather sorry about your scan, as it was private can you get nhs to do a scan at an epu?

Thank you chat - I was glad they said at least one is ok.

Booked the tubal fix today for 1st of July, though this morning went straight from circle to solid smiley on the advanced cb opk. Icing two days early it seems, odd reaction to the hsg but my body seems to excel at being odd. Feeling so much better this evening we dtd, will do the next couple of days and see what happens.

Ain626 · 12/06/2015 07:18

Feather you are being really strong to even think about the talk and work projects right now. If you're staying at your best friends can you confide in them? Flowers

honey that sounds fun! Were they just ceramic tiles? I have a thing about attacking everything with Sharpies at the min... I am waiting to hear back about this unit I may be taking over. I currently only have email contact with the DC and waiting for her to mail me back. If it goes ahead I'm actually really nervous! Haha. It's been a while since I've been in Brownies, and even longer since I've been leader in charge...

ThursdayLast · 12/06/2015 07:19

Oh Feather what sad news, I'm sorry Thanks

Good shagging Illiria Smile

NFMV is it seems AF has vacated. So a 29 day cycle with a 3 day period this month. Seems like heading back to normal.

CountryGal4 · 12/06/2015 07:29

feather so sorry pet

We're getting a bit of shit time in here aren't we!

MyBlackCat · 12/06/2015 08:13

lil I had day 21 bloods last week which was pretty much 7dpo, I hope to speak to doctor today for results and to find out if I need day 2-4 bloods. At my appointment she said I did but last week the nurse taking the blood had no paperwork for those. Today I have a pelvic scan at hospital, it's exactly 12 months to the day that I found out I had mc, I did get scanned after mc and all was apparently ok.

feathered please take the time off work if you need it, when it happened to me I was in a v busy work period that I didn't feel I could miss. I ended up having 2 weeks off, I had too, I would not have been able to do my job, please take the time to deal with this as best you can Thanks

honeysucklejasmine · 12/06/2015 08:15

Yes Ain, just normal tiles from DIY shop. Smile

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 12/06/2015 08:34

Feathered I'm not sure how you would go about getting 48hr bloods as never been private. Think for quick results it's easier when your somewhere attached to hospital/clinic where they analyse on site. Midwifes/GPs take ages as they send them elsewhere. For me, two bloods three days apart confirmed I will mc soon from hcg drop. Just waiting now. But that was through EPU who I'm seeing today, then I'll see once a week till hcg is 20. Once confirmed I had a day of thinking I was going to carry on with work, then I went to pieces. Saw GP yesterday but only to be sign off. I can understand if you need to work, but be kind to yourself. I had told a hand full of people in RL about the whole saga, will run away to stay with family this weekend as DH working. Happy to chat if it's helpful as I'm going through this right now. I'm pretending to be okay, but I'm really not. Very not. I'm not as far along as you so very early for me. Feel like I shouldn't be so upset as it's do early and I didn't know long, but still breaking my heart. I think for me it's the last thing in a long line of emotional hard stuff.

lildottie · 12/06/2015 08:50

black today will be hard but at least things are moving forward. is scan ultrasound? I had that mid cycle, I think to look at ovarys and lining at ovulation time. you will need an hsg next to check your tubes, then they will talk about treatment options.

thinking of you both feathered and five Thanks

FeatheredTail · 12/06/2015 10:58

Hi all, thanks so much for the kind words, it honestly means so much right now.

I went to get bloods at NHS hospital this morning and called at doctors to ask why I hadnt been given another card for Sunday. Different doctor apologised profusely and gave me another card so have to go to a+e on Sunday for second set.

Turns out I CAN get blood results today - and prob Sunday too - so will have a clearer picture then.

xxx

WouldRatherHaveWine · 12/06/2015 11:07

feathered I'm so sorry, how utterly shit. I agree, take the time if you need it