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These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
Hobbit19 · 10/06/2015 21:20

Aug are you drunk darling? Grin

Stoat I know you are dealing with a lot of shit at the moment and that you are struggling with stuff but you are still managing to maintain your wicked sense of humour - hold on to that. Roared at period Vs pile; only on a viroid Fred! I vote pile!!

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 10/06/2015 21:21

I'm so sorry that I haven't read back through the Fred and have missed other peoples struggles. Flowers for Stoat and anyone else that needs them.
Just thought of my friend, the one dying from MND that said live in the moment. Well this moment is fucking shite but I'll embrace it and it will pass. That's what I'm going to focus on tonight. Thanks your your support viroids.

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 21:28

hic
Such slander. I bite my thumb at you, Sir.
Pile it on! (See what I did there?)

OP posts:
Illiria · 10/06/2015 21:35

Thank you chat - results are in. Looks like one tube is fine and the other might be blocked. He wants to do a thing to fix that but promises sedation. Also a possible polyp so wants to do a saline sonogram which might end up like the hsg but at least I can warn them this time.

Niffertiti · 10/06/2015 21:41

Aww, five so sorry for you, it's such a hard time. I found a thread on the MC boards quite useful - title was something about preparing practically for a mc, but it was basically suggestions for what people had found useful/wished they'd known - pads, hot water bottles, pain relief etc. I knew I was going to mc for about a week before it happened, and I found it helped me to put together a pack I could carry round with me - spare knicks, pads, wipes, co-codamol.

But in the end I was off work already with flu by the time it started - which was shit, but probably helped me get over it quicker to do intense misery in one concentrated burst, I really went to town on feeling sorry for myselfHmm. And physically it was not that bad.

Thanks
SockQueen · 10/06/2015 21:43

Sorry to see your news Five. And Flowers for anyone else having a rough time.

NFMV: Not much. Failing to sync up going to bed with DH so no shagging since Sunday. Trying again tonight...

pretzelpieces · 10/06/2015 22:10

I'm so sorry five that's very sad. Thanks to you and other viroids who have been through this. It's years since I had my mc but I remember how upsetting it was. GX no more of that for us.

Littlechocolatebiscuit · 10/06/2015 22:13

aug Grin

WouldRatherHaveWine · 10/06/2015 22:14

Not much going on here.

OH - "I've got you some pudding tonight, spotted dick"
feels excited
OH - "without the spotted"
confused. Is it a plain type?
OH - ;)
bitterly disappointed

I don't think this is our month due to lack of Sex on the crucial day. Therefore no interest in Sex til next cycle and consoling myself with a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit

honeysucklejasmine · 10/06/2015 22:43

Wine that's pretty damn funny though. Pity shag for the poor lad, surely?

I have started using piritreze nasal spray and dh reports marked decrease in snoring. Active ingredient is steroid though so can't use long term.

WouldRatherHaveWine · 10/06/2015 23:02

It's sooo not funny!!

That's interesting to know about the snoring, luckily OH can sleep through it but I worry when I stay at my mums that I keep everyone up.

I ordered a mouth guard today. I've always had a problem with grinding my teeth in my sleep but it worsens with stress. I once ended up in a&e as all my muscles in my face and neck had locked, and last night I managed to actually chip a tiny bit off my front tooth! It woke me up!

CountryGal4 · 10/06/2015 23:08

Wine I have a night guard- I'm very bitey in my sleep. Dh jokes that I'm Hannibal lector Hmm

lildottie · 10/06/2015 23:10

Place marking

pretzelpieces · 10/06/2015 23:11

I have one too. I'm surprised I haven't chewed through it yet! Hmm DP says I really go at it Blush

CountryGal4 · 10/06/2015 23:12

Same pretzel! I thought I was the only one??!!

lildottie · 10/06/2015 23:18

dh grinds his teeth at times. when he does and it wakes me up I punch him!

gaggiagirl · 10/06/2015 23:30

PILE!

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 10/06/2015 23:40

Thanks Niffertiti, that's good advice. I will go try and find a board too, it sounds like that might be helpful too.
Would I just lol'd at your OH!

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 10/06/2015 23:49

Hugs And chocolate to all who need it. I have no practical advise to give to re mc. Just Flowers

Nfmv: nothing. No symptoms of icing so far this month and im cd21 so far........feel a little chappy (not on a ttc front - have had a headache for best part of 2 days) so have treated myself to chocolate this evening......iI seem to have eaten my way through a 200g bar of dairymilk whole nut.
........wwhoops!!!!

ChatEnOeuf · 11/06/2015 07:04

Pile! Anyone else hear 'Porn' from Avenue Q when seeing that? Or just me...

Tee's done a baby on grads :)

Hope the tube's fixable Illaria - good news there's one clear passage at least though.

Wine I did laugh at your DH too. I would also be disappointed at the lack of spots on a spotted dick.

honeysucklejasmine · 11/06/2015 07:52

Chat I love Avenue Q. Grab your dick and double click!

TotallyAnonymousUsername · 11/06/2015 07:55

Thursday thanks for the welcome but I've been here four months GrinWink I'm just not very good at posting!

I'm so sorry five Flowers

illyria how are you feeling about it? At least there's some progress being made for you i guess.

aug i just need you to know I'm a little bit in love with you Grin

jellypi3 · 11/06/2015 08:13

Avenue Q is great!

ThursdayLast · 11/06/2015 08:14

Oops, newbie faux pas sorry totally BlushGrin

Have a good day viroids! Shaggy McShaggertons

5hell · 11/06/2015 09:11

love a bit of AvenueQ, was too long ago that we saw it
"it sucks to be me!" ;)

tired after 5:30am shag my heart totaly wasn't in it as I'm sure we're past icing now, but felt i couldn't turn DH down, so points for effort all round

cold what is chappy?