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These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
FeatheredTail · 11/06/2015 09:25

Hi shaggers! LOVE avenue Q. Been trying to get some not-extortionately-priced tickets to see Book of Mormon as it's meant to be equally hilare but have failed so far. £145 for a Tuesday night performance? Nah, you're alright thanks.

Sympathy for the Jeremy (forgotten who has it). Horrid bum blighters!

CarrotPuff · 11/06/2015 11:56

Five I'm so sorry. Please be kind to yourself. I hope it is over quickly for you Flowers

Stoat I would concentrate on running over TTC - it will happen when it does, regardless of how much you run or not. If it still takes a while then at least you won't look back thinking of all that wasted time. Maybe sign up for a race to keep yourself in check? 10k, half marathon?

That's rubbish about the smear. I hope next time is easier.

Oh god the teeth grinding. I have a friend who does that. And we used to sleep in the same room (in the same bed, actually) for 6 months! I don't know how I didn't murder her!

NFMV: The Shagging Season of New Cycle is officially open. She has hosted some jizz yesterday and will possibly do tonight too as DP is wearing a suit Grin

I have a stinking cold with horrible headache. Just been googling "paracetamol overdose" because after taking some pills I've had doubts if I've taken some already... My memory is like a sieve these days...

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 11/06/2015 12:16

Well ladies I dunno about where you are but the sun is shining here and it's beautiful outside. Boss told me to take rest of this week off so just watered my plants and sat watching the birds in the garden. Might go see my friend in the hospice later, take her out into the sun too. Hope you're all having a good day.

5hell · 11/06/2015 17:16

are you all broken? 5 hours with out a post?!?!?!?!?

good effort to be JSing with a cold carrot 10/10

look after yourself five - sounds like you're being very sensible, and handling it so well.

CountryGal4 · 11/06/2015 17:43

Hi. I come bringing crazy!

How strong is this opk?!?! Craaaazy

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 11/06/2015 17:44

Lol 5hell I was worried I broke the Fred!

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 11/06/2015 17:44

Country shaaaaaaag!

CountryGal4 · 11/06/2015 17:47

I'm cd 6

jellypi3 · 11/06/2015 17:49

Still shag!!!

CountryGal4 · 11/06/2015 17:51

Don't you girls worry. I am as randy as a rabbit so dh has no bloody choice!

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 11/06/2015 17:51

Erm... Really? POAS!

CountryGal4 · 11/06/2015 17:53

I said I was bringing the crazy. There's really no need to throw fuel on the fire haha

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 11/06/2015 17:55

Haha well an opk is how I realised about this beanie, if there's one thing I am today it's definitely crazy Smile

MyBlackCat · 11/06/2015 17:57

Poas country!!!

I've just been for a run.... Major cramps, I thought I was giving birth chance would be a fine thing cd27 for me - AF imminent Angry

CountryGal4 · 11/06/2015 17:58

Your girls are supposed to stop the crazy. Lils gonna kick your butt for encouraging me!!

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 11/06/2015 18:13

Aww man I can't open that on my phone. However I will dutifully accept a butt kicking from Lil!

lildottie · 11/06/2015 18:19

yes lil is going to kick your but five Grin

country I don't see a line. I see a white light across it too close to the control line, did you draw one on?

CountryGal4 · 11/06/2015 18:25

Haha I toooold you. Your in trouble

It's a bfn guys as I knew it would be. White Line is a reflection from the window

jellypi3 · 11/06/2015 18:28

country forgive me if i'm wrong but didn't you get an early opk last month?

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed · 11/06/2015 18:29

Aww sorry Country! I shall bend over and present my ass for a thump now...

honeysucklejasmine · 11/06/2015 18:30

FFS you naughty buggers! Tut tut!

Busy day today, delivering letters, getting crafts ready for Brownies next week.

Ga I bought a steam cleaner. And had fun using it. I BLAME YOU! You're not allowed to put bleach etc in it, so no zoflora boost Sad

DH did the garden whilst I hoovered. Now need to choose a movie for our viewing pleasure after dinner. Smile

CountryGal4 · 11/06/2015 18:33

Normally opks are completely blank right until about 4-5 days before ice. Last month at about cd11 I had a faint line which I found strange. But this is damn near positive

Niffertiti · 11/06/2015 18:34

Honey when I first read that you'd bought a steam cleaner I thought you'd gone a bit gwyneth Paltrow on us.

I don't think even gaggia recommends zoflora-ing your fanny...

CountryGal4 · 11/06/2015 18:34

Honey sounds like a lovely day. I want a steam cleaner. Is it good??

CountryGal4 · 11/06/2015 18:35

Wait just so everyone know I want to steam clean the floor