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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
justtheonethen · 27/06/2015 00:46

Hi tri! Welcome. Cd41?! Is that normal for you? Fucking like bunnies approach is the way of the js'ers even if we do fall off the contraband wagon now and then. Will this be your first?

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 27/06/2015 01:05

made the mahoosive mistake of checking the bank accounts and credit cards before going to sleep......now I don't think I'll be able to sleep.....how the fuck have we spent that much this month??!!

Any idea how I can earn an extra £500 a month between now and christmas? Not life or death, but I wanted the credit cards gone by then and they seem to be increasing. People warn you how much it costs to move house, but not how much DIY etc costs once you have moved!!

SockQueen · 27/06/2015 01:12

Yes Cold - my last cycle was 30 days but before that it was 3 months so I have no idea what is going on this cycle, clearly not ovulation though. Just I don't think progesterone treatment would help - the progesterone rises after ovulation, rather than making you ovulate, so it probably wouldn't help. I guess Clomid, but we'll have to wait and see what they say.

Anyway, I'm off on holiday for a week so probably won't be on MN much - have a suitably shag-filled week everyone! And someone needs to think of a new fred pretty soon!

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 27/06/2015 01:23

I'm on day 38 of my cycle sock and I've only just ovulated. perhaps it was the wrong point in the cycle for you when they ran the tests.

Enjoy your holiday - relax as much as you can and try not to think about ttceasier said than done

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 27/06/2015 01:24

I'm on day 38 of my cycle sock and I've only just ovulated. perhaps it was the wrong point in the cycle for you when they ran the tests.

Enjoy your holiday - relax as much as you can and try not to think about ttceasier said than done

Illiria · 27/06/2015 03:48

Just - no Elvis chapel we were at the courthouse chapel as is much cheaper and no frills as we had no guests. However we did have a witness who dressed up as Elvis, came across more 70's pimp than elvis but it was cute.

lildottie · 27/06/2015 08:59

sock have you had AF since the blood test? if not then there is still a possibility of ovulation occurring, look at country and her multiple surges this cycle. if you have had AF since the blood test was that your 30day cycle? if so then testing at cd24 would be the right time to test, bar a day, so you have an accurate answer on ovulation. you can try taking soy isoflavones at start of your next cycle which is "natures clomid" and may be worth a try whilst you await referral/treatment. are they going to repeat the prog test? did they test amh? if I were you I'd consider temping, then you can make sure you get a retest on right day, or further confirm no ovulation. try not to stress though, its positive to be finding answers and moving towards treatment.

CountryGal4 · 27/06/2015 09:27

Haha country- the one with all the surges!

Sorry just I was very pickled on gin and had a hellish week so passed out in bed. Dh is currently making the bacon

5hell · 27/06/2015 09:58

Mmmm bacon :)
Have the parentals arriving shortly so have a rock n roll weekend of summer fetes and gardens to look forward too and sneaky quiet jsing

Surely next fred should be a special just country collaboration? !

lildottie · 27/06/2015 10:44

no skill, just rhyming words...

There was a viroid named just,
who was all wanton and lust.
But her fanjo's a numpty
and she named it country
and they now have a skittletits bust.

MyBlackCat · 27/06/2015 10:51

Do it lil that's brilliant Grin

CountryGal4 · 27/06/2015 11:15

I do have the skittletits so very accurate!

SockQueen · 27/06/2015 11:39

lil the test was only done on Monday, so I'm still in the same cycle (d29 now) - the previous one was 30 days. I don't think we'll be able to do much shagging on holiday as we're staying with my sister and then my friend, and doing it in someone else's spare room feels weird! I'm going to try to relax and ignore it for now, and just have a relaxing holiday. Might give the soy isoflavones a try - where can I get them from?

I've previously decided against temping because I work irregular shifts including nights, and get up at very different times if I'm working or not, so I don't know how accurate it would be. Starting to think it might be worth a try though...

justtheonethen · 27/06/2015 15:22

lil that's fab!

Sorry sock, I'm useless when it comes to anything body related!

illiria that sounds lovely. What a fun wedding.

I'm feeling ridiculously hungover for the amount I drank. Totally unfair, I might as well have drunk loads!

MyBlackCat · 27/06/2015 18:10

Quiet on here this afternoon - is everyone out shagging in the sun? Grin

justtheonethen · 27/06/2015 18:27

No but I did shag on the kitchen floor horribly uncomfortable and I now need to clean under the oven

SecondCupOfTea · 27/06/2015 20:05

Just Maybe I shouldn't ask, but is the under-oven cleaning due to JSing related splashes, or was it because your vantage point meant you spotted an area that often gets missed during regular mopping?

WhyStannisWhy · 27/06/2015 20:27

Just shagging sounds like my kind of TTC... Room for one more?

justtheonethen · 27/06/2015 21:01

tea ha! Vantage point!

why of course, welcome. Kitchen shagging optional

WhyStannisWhy · 27/06/2015 21:27

Kitchen shagging is what attracted me here Wink

lildottie · 27/06/2015 21:34

do you want me to do new thread then?

CountryGal4 · 27/06/2015 21:35

Pahahahaha just you animal! I'm sure dp would be thrilled to know that you were thinking about how dirty the oven was while he was shagging you. Sniggers

CountryGal4 · 27/06/2015 21:36

Yes please oh fearless leader lil

why we require stats immediately

DulcetMoans · 27/06/2015 21:42

Last post winner!! Grin

Stolen!

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