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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
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31
Tinkfromlovejoy · 24/06/2015 17:21

Ok, 7dpo and I have very sore womble pains at the front, near top of bikini line. Feels like knives and is absolutely nothing to do with the epic poo I've just done, definitely not. Is almost certainly twinsies nestling in, that's it, definitely.

lil I've given up on this lark more times than I care to mention. I'm still only 33 though so am allowing myself another 10 years if necessary, and I can change my mind as often as I like. If you get to a stage where you feel like giving up, just give up for a bit. Then when the urge takes you again, get back at it! No pressure and babies are a gift not a right Smile

CountryGal4 · 24/06/2015 17:47

I'm going for world record for most +opk s. Three so far this cycle.

This is a beaut though. I've never had one this strong! If dh doesn't shag me right tonight I will forcibly remove the sperm from him then sack him!!

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
justtheonethen · 24/06/2015 18:44

Holy cow country that's a right mother! Get thy cape on.

tink tis probably quadruplets

honeysucklejasmine · 24/06/2015 19:35

Blooming heck Country, that's incredible!

CountryGal4 · 24/06/2015 19:36

I win right??

justtheonethen · 24/06/2015 19:54

And the most bonkers fanjo award goes to.......country!

CountryGal4 · 24/06/2015 20:01

Wow I don't know what to say. I'd like to thank my fanjo, of course my ovaries and the viroids. Couldn't have won it without them. I'm so proud tears up

CountryGal4 · 24/06/2015 21:40

Well I had to don my naughtiest pants but I got all the jizz!

justtheonethen · 24/06/2015 21:47

High five Grin

CountryGal4 · 24/06/2015 22:00

How are you doing? Eating your weight in cake I hope?

5hell · 24/06/2015 22:10

country as one would say on fb... like !

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 24/06/2015 22:15

I think I might be ovulating. Pain/ache in right ovary. I have only been home from work for 45 mins. Have attempted to don the cape, after telling DH that I am probably ovulating, to be told he is going upstairs to bed and will probably be asleep in 5 minutes.
It is fair to say that I have snapped at him!!!!!!!

bellybuttonfluffy · 24/06/2015 22:24

My DH is also in bed coldfeet. Last night, he was the same.
Turns out sleepy DH is a lot easier to arouse than waken DH.. there were no complaints when he was ready to go Wink
Would that work for your DH?

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 24/06/2015 22:48

No it wouldn't. He is now dead to the world. Nothing will wake him.

I am actually quite pissed off with him. We haven't shagged on a school night for god knows how long. I thought he might make a bit of an effort for the sake of ttc, especially considering that I have 60 day cycles!!!! ggrrrrrrr!!!!!!

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 24/06/2015 22:49

Does anyone have a link to an idiots guide to ttc that I can get DH to read?! I don't think he gets it at all. His answer to everything seems to be "have you pee'd on a stick?"!!

Ain626 · 24/06/2015 23:10

Just checking in viroids. Need to read the fred and catch up.

I am feeling a bit down tonight. Was trying to come up with a list of things to ask at my appointment on Friday. Got myself worked up a bit (seems to be emotional wreck week). Went on Facebook. Pregnancy announcement. So now am feeling even worse.

I am a horrible person. Sad

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 24/06/2015 23:15

ain you are not a horrible person. You are having an emotional day and took the announcement hard. You would only be a horrible person if you said something horrible to pregnant woman!!

What appointment is it? GP? Specialist? Is it specifically about ttc or the PCOS?

lildottie · 24/06/2015 23:56

aww ain you are not a horrible person. don't stress about catching up with the thread, we talk so much shit it could take u a while! lol. actually it's been quite quiet today hasnt it.

can we help with questions?

justtheonethen · 25/06/2015 07:05

Morning viroids. Anyone want to tell me what that hell is happening with my chart?

Hugs to ain and ball kicks to the naughty miroids

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
CountryGal4 · 25/06/2015 07:10

Could have iced Monday or Tuesday? You'll have a better picture with a couple days more temping. Sorry. If it helps mine are a little confusing at the moment too!

lildottie · 25/06/2015 08:07

just I think icing Monday. are u sure Tues opk was as dark as control line?

jellypi3 · 25/06/2015 08:23

I'd say you iced Monday just :)

MyBlackCat · 25/06/2015 08:43

I returned home from working abroad last night and managed to get some jizz from miroid. Ewcm yesterday and day before so either iced yesterday or will today. Will hopefully get more jizz later.

Pretty poor effort this cycle, but more shagging hasn't worked so going for the less is more approach this month Wink

Now need to read back and catch up on whole thread!

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 25/06/2015 10:00

Please help viroids. Never had any kind of line on an ovulation stick before. Test line is faint but definitely there. Does this mean I have iced, am icing or am going to?

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
justtheonethen · 25/06/2015 10:06

Judge for yourselves....
Mondays....

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
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