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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
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31
justtheonethen · 25/06/2015 10:08

Tuesdays

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
SecondCupOfTea · 25/06/2015 10:08

Warning - Newbie joining!

Partner and I decided to TTC #1, and it's the first month of trying since coming off contraceptive implant. Haven't a clue how long my cycle is as it's been ages since I've been paid a visit. Am guessing it'll go back to it's old 26-28 days. So currently on CD19 and we shagged like dogs on heat over the weekend.

Not sure if it's just me being new to all this conception thing, but I read a number of other threads on MN (including the over 40's ones, as I fit in that group) and was somewhat surprised that some people's entire focus seemed to be POAS many times a month to predict ovulation,and not really having much sex. Maybe that'll happen to me too.

Anyhow, decided to join this thread as it seems considerably more fun!

justtheonethen · 25/06/2015 10:09

Cold it means you aren't having an lh surge right now.

justtheonethen · 25/06/2015 10:11

Ah how embarrassing that you joined in the midst of my ov stick dilemma! Welcome anyway!

MyBlackCat · 25/06/2015 10:13

Welcome second I haven't poas for months but I would be lying if I said I hadn't poas at some point to pinpoint ovulation. After ttc for 18 months we are pretty much shagged out so do focus the shagging around the key dates now.

Good luck x

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 25/06/2015 10:16

Ok. Any idea what stage I am at?

I might tell dh that I'm icing anyway ..

justtheonethen · 25/06/2015 10:25

Could be building up if it's the first one you have seen. I usually get two or three days of faint ones like that before a positive

CountryGal4 · 25/06/2015 10:34

cold it's not finished developing. Give in the full amounts of time then take a pic pet

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 25/06/2015 10:38

Okay will continue doing tests in the mornings. This is the first test I've done in a while. I couldn't see the point in doing tests every day of a 60 day cycle. Just did one this morning as I had some ovary pain last night.

CountryGal4 · 25/06/2015 10:38

Errr please ignore us (me and just) tea we contraband hard but only as we've been at this 6 months and because out fanjos are wild. WILD I tell you!

Didn't you get a +opk Sunday as well just? Mondays is Definately stronger btw

5hell · 25/06/2015 10:40

hey second and welcome
there aren't normally this many sticks being pissed on...it's just one of those months weeks i think Smile ...peeing on as many hpts would be less well tolerated ;)

nfmv: AF seems to be buggering off on CD4 so looks like I might be getting back to a more normal cycle Grin (last AF was a rather long and drawn oout affair...all last months shagging {12 times} was probably just for fun )

pussy

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 25/06/2015 10:42

How long do they take to develop? These are just Internet cheapies so didn't come with any instructions

CountryGal4 · 25/06/2015 10:44

Back of the foil packet says I think. Off the top of my head I think it's 10 mins?

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 25/06/2015 10:46

Thanks country doesn't say on the back of mine, just a diagram for positive and negative etc

CountryGal4 · 25/06/2015 10:54

I'll check when I get home later. You get yours from amazon?

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 25/06/2015 10:55

One on the left was taken 1hr ago. One on right taken 10 mins ago. Look darker now. Not sure how clear it will look on pic but test line is almost as dark as control line.

Also having some funky feelings down there. Last night was right ovary. Today is more fanjo ...... icing?

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!
ColdFeetWarmHeart · 25/06/2015 10:56

Yes off amazon country. 20 sticks for a couple of £

SecondCupOfTea · 25/06/2015 10:57

:)

Thanks for the welcome, and I'm sure it'll all seem normal to me sooner or later. Contrary to what I said about POAS, I ordered some internet PTK's from amazon...and then got spooked after reading a review saying they don't have any instructions!

I'm guessing it'll be a case of: pee on it, look at it for 10 mins, take a photo, ask everyone on here what they think cos I can't work it out :D

CountryGal4 · 25/06/2015 10:58

Did you do any yesterday? It could be that yesterday's would have been a positive and this one is the tail off of the spike. Shag today you could be icing imminently or the nxt couple of days. Has to be as dark as or darker for a positive.

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 25/06/2015 11:09

No first tests I've done for a while. Have told dh I'm icing and left sticks for him to see when he pops home at lunch. If I don't get any jizz tonight I'll ltb!!!!
Last dtd on Sunday night, so hoping that would cover it if I iced tues/wed.
Though going by what I can feel I'd say I'm ovulating today

Tinkfromlovejoy · 25/06/2015 11:11

Welcome tea yes, you must post a picture of anything you piss on, them's the rules. Wink (no pictures of toilets though please)

cold looks like you're building up to something. Do you have the pant snot? Shag regardless, shag like a ninja! (?)

just both of your opks are positive. I repeat: Shag, shag, shag.

Anyone going to glasto? I have huge envy, everyone I know is going. Including the two middle aged lunatics I just met at a services arguing about their camper van. I've never been because I always forget to register for tickets. Really want to this year - although last year would have been better as Dh and I are dolly's BIGGEST fans!

8dpo and I'm fairly sure it's a baby in there. Again. Definitely not the absurd amounts of bread and chips I've been scoffing this week. No. Absolutely a baby. If not two. 100%.

honeysucklejasmine · 25/06/2015 12:50

Welcome Tea! Please do ignore all this talk of opks and surges etc. glares around We totally don't do that, do we ladies?

But you sound like you will fit right in with this crazy lot! Grin

SecondCupOfTea · 25/06/2015 12:58

Well, so far my short TTC journey hasn't thrown up many funnies, well apart from my partner sheepishly asking me if I was gonna have one enormous great big period when the implant was removed (I hadn't had any while the implant was in).

Cue me staring wistfully into the distance, imagining almost 3 years of menstrual blood stored up, all to be unleashed in one almighty BOOM! like a scene out of Carrie (no doubt while I was out and about). Didn't happen, just had a bit of bleeding. Still my GP thought the vision hilarious.

lildottie · 25/06/2015 13:15

omg so many opks! on app so can't see but shag, all of you!

whoever said about poaopk in the morning, the ic ones are best done 10am-6pm, never fmu!

5hell · 25/06/2015 13:24

i hear you tink ...we went in 2007 (mudtastic) and tried for tickets this year and last but no luck Sad have some friends going and am wel-jel as have no festivals planned this year yet - double Sad

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