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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!

999 replies

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 19:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 40 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2320175-Lifes-a-bitch-but-we-keep-on-shagging-Weve-stocked-up-on-gin-and-pics-of-cats-If-your-Miroid-cant-give-you-the-big-O-then-LTB-and-come-join-us-50-shades-got-nothing-on-us-Its-JSing-40?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2322010-Calmly-and-regally-gestating-our-beans-in-a-land-of-obsessive-ILs-placenta-horticulture-sweary-doctors-and-naked-pancake-cravings-Its-the-JS-grads-thread-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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21
Tinkfromlovejoy · 27/03/2015 23:22

lil that's my dhs favourite mantra, privilege not a right. I 100% agree, why did they delete that I wonder? You must have been very cutting, well done. I just asked if I could have her baby Blush

lildottie · 27/03/2015 23:31

I have to say I think they were out of order deleting it, given the subsequent postings. I'm entitled to my opinion as much as any one else on there! and I did state it was "IMO". so much for free speech!

Tinkfromlovejoy · 27/03/2015 23:39

I agree, especially when you consider the amount of name calling posts on here? I've seen posters being called all manner of shit recently! Still, it must feel good to have been controversial, fair play for saying what you thought. I never think of anything quickly enough for the good aibu threads. Then when I eventually post its out of context as the thread has moved on.

lildottie · 27/03/2015 23:50

I was impressed I didn't get slated actually, people were quite tactful! and as I say the subsequent posts between myself and others gave the original post more context so I think it was wrong to delete it. actually deleting it makes it seem worse than it actually was.

lildottie · 27/03/2015 23:53

maybe I'll post my own aibu... aibu to think people should be grateful for what they have?! I'm going through this shit but I'm still thankful every day that I have a loving husband, am financially secure and live in a country advanced enough to offer, let alone to have funded, my treatment, even if it is a postcode lottery.

justtheonethen · 28/03/2015 00:25

jelly worst hospital? Not near mayday by any chance?

I pee in front of dp, i used to be a bit more private but he has no sense of personal space so i had to get used to it!

That aibu woman needs to get a hold of herself.....ungrateful bitch.

honeysucklejasmine · 28/03/2015 07:23

Lil, you badass! Wink

We do not pee in front of each other, but there are more toilets than people on the house so no need.

I keep waking up at 7. It's most annoying.

LaLaLaaaa · 28/03/2015 07:40

Morning viroids! I pee with door open and a cat on my knee. Tough if dh doesn't like it!

In d days starting new Fred was meant to be lucky omen, are you sure one of you doesn't want the honour? I've asked the grads

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WouldRatherHaveWine · 28/03/2015 08:11

Morning!!!!! 5.30 start here today, and of course OH is still in bed. My turn tomorrow!

I'm a newbie so can't start one as I actually have no idea what I'm doing yet ;)

What is everyone up to today?

jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 08:13

My Fred's are always unlucky la :(

We never pee in front of each other. I have to shut the door firmly or the cats open it when I'm on the loo lol.

Feeling a little deflated today. Temp went down just below the cover line this morning. Boobs are still sore but can't help but feel it's already over this month.

just nope, more essex-y Wink

honeysucklejasmine · 28/03/2015 08:28

Jelly this is why we stop temping after icing confirmed. It will fluctuate... It may drop low... But then the witch night not come. Stop making yourself paranoid. Wink

justtheonethen · 28/03/2015 08:32

My cat sits on my knee on the loo too, and cries if the door is shut. Have woken up with red hot pokers for nipples.

Sisters baby shower today.

maemay · 28/03/2015 08:47

We leave the door closed but unlocked when in the shower/bath, in case the other one is desperate for a pee. I think we'd draw the line at a No.2 though! -who wants a lingering smell while you're trying to enjoy a relaxing bath??!

maemay · 28/03/2015 08:53

In other news, I think AF is preparing herself for a visit. Feeling slightly constipated (which usual happens couple of days before AF), and I've drunk loads of juice recently, which 'loosens you up' in the No.2 department. But still feeling constipated-y.
Not looking forward to AF (who does??! There's a reason she's called the witch!!)
But as soon as she's packed her bags and gone, we can get going with a full month of JSing!!

lildottie · 28/03/2015 08:58

morning all. I haven't done s new thread for s while, and I declined the last ones u wanted me to do! so I can do it if u like?

ff has given me dotted lines for icing on wed because I took my temp at different time that day but its proper up so I'm happy its happened. just can't believe I'm in another twot!

jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 09:01

Yeh true honey I should stop. I did last month.

jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 09:02

Yay for TWOT lil :) also I vote you for Fred!

Jcandy · 28/03/2015 09:05

FF has also decided I iced on Wednesday but mines not quite as clear but definitely up. Only shagged 3 times this month though and only just in fertile window so not holding out much hope! I vote you too lil for new thread Smile

Hope that goes well just

I don't bother properly closing the door but don't think dp has ever seen me. He shuts the door tight lol

honeysucklejasmine · 28/03/2015 09:07

Yes Lil, go for it! Grin

jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 09:08

oh jc that's great news! bet you're relieved you iced this cycle!

Jcandy · 28/03/2015 09:16

I am jelly but I also know we've probably not done a lot so it may be wasted but oh well. I've tried not to stress about it too much this month which has meant less forced sex which is nice.

CarrotPuff · 28/03/2015 09:33

Morning viroids.

My cough has gone from bad to worse, but I still jumped DP last night. I feel like I'm entitled to a medal for that. I had a bath before that so I guess the steam and warmth helped a bit, although my cough came back during the night with vengeance Confused

Haha Ainit we had exactly the same problem last night! I had to get out the bath Angry

Yay lil for TWOT and jc for icing!

mae I normally have the opposite problem before AF...

LaLaLaaaa · 28/03/2015 09:36

Hooray for twotting lil!

jelly I agree with oracle lil - you need to stop temping after icing, as it drives you mad. I had implantation dip with both pregnancies so it doesn't mean you're out, but best just to stop driving yourself nuts :)

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lildottie · 28/03/2015 09:42

thanks guys. we only DTD O-3 and O-1 so ff has scored us good not high, but I'm feeling hopeful given dhs new swimmers. 3 months ago was right before ivf procedures so should be his best batch and there was that night he informed me he'd put plenty in there! Blush

JC yay for icing, but don't stress about whether u did enough. you've had a lot going on this cycle. I suspect ovulation was delayed due to stress. but if u iced Wednesday too we could be having a syncro pee? my lp is 14/15 days, how about u?

and yes jelly I can't leave until you learn ALL the rules so stop temping after icing! what dpo are you now?

LaLaLaaaa · 28/03/2015 10:03

0-3 and 0-1 is good lil! I conceived this one on 0-1

gx for you this week - and for all the rest of you!

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