We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!

[LaLaLaaaa]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 40 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2320175-Lifes-a-bitch-but-we-keep-on-shagging-Weve-stocked-up-on-gin-and-pics-of-cats-If-your-Miroid-cant-give-you-the-big-O-then-LTB-and-come-join-us-50-shades-got-nothing-on-us-Its-JSing-40?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2322010-Calmly-and-regally-gestating-our-beans-in-a-land-of-obsessive-ILs-placenta-horticulture-sweary-doctors-and-naked-pancake-cravings-Its-the-JS-grads-thread-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Although I wouldn't mind if I had a boy or a girl, I'd have to find out at my scan because I'm just too impatient.

I'm going to admit something controversial here (so please don't all hate my DH). DH told me that he would be really upset if we had a boy. I was so upset when he told me that I cried and we had a massive row, but when I delved into the reasons why I can see why he's scared. He was really badly bullied by boys all his childhood and all of his friends are female now. I think he's just scared of boys. He then admitted that he thought "If I had a boy it wouldn't love me because I don't watch football or do lots of boy things" and after that we had a big heart to heart about it (I told him he was being stupid, they could dismantle cars together and gang up on me about watching girly TV programmes). He now says that he doesn't think having a baby boy would be a bad thing at all.

I don't think il find out, I think the not knowing would help with all the pushing. I can't say I'm fussed about boys or girls just happy healthy baby would suit me just fine

torturing myself with obem

tink I also think you are upduffed!

I'm ashamed to say that deep down I really want a girl AT SOME POINT. I'm delighted that I am having a DS, of course I am and I'm so grateful to finally be pregnant and to be having the baby I've longed for for years. But I would love to eventually have a girl as well someday. I found out the sex at 20 week scan because my dh wanted to - I didn't want to know as I wanted a surprise, but he talked me round.

I thought if I wasn't having a girl there might be a chance I'd take a while to get used to the idea. It turns out that it didn't matter a bit and as soon as I knew he was a boy I could picture him, love him even more and can't wait to meet him. It's really helped with bonding to know and I'm glad we found out.

But I do kind of understand people who say that they have a secret preference either way, because I'd really like a girl at some point. I would never be upset or disappointed though, because all I want is for a healthy baby of my own and I will love him or her whoever they are!

Sorry if this makes me a bad person :(

la you are not a bad person. I am not against preference, its natural. I always wanted a girl. obviously my perspective is a little different now though. I just think that to have such a strong preference that after finding out u feel the need to ask strangers on the internet "aibu" then yes uabu! that's not to says she's a bad person, just that she has bad judgement!

I have to say we have dtc 4 times in 5 days and DH is over the moon everytime I suggest it. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to keep up with him!

my dh has gone off sulking because I joked his stomach ache wasn't mentioned until I mentioned sex guilty conscience then I think

Just read that AIBU and lil I can totally understand why it upset you, I'm so sorry :(

I do think the post is wrongly placed and AIBU is completely the wrong place. The OP sounds scared and the issue isn't that she's disappointed with the girl, but that she's terrified of repeating her mother's mistakes. I really hope when the baby comes she will realise that she can make the choice to either be the same as her mother or not.

But it was an upsetting post for anyone to read who is struggling to conceive and a very insensitive place to post it. I always react strongly to these types of threads too as I know how it feels to be desperate to conceive and to lose a much wanted and loved baby.

I went mad on one recently where the lady dared to say that IVF shouldn't be paid for by NHS as things like cancer deserve that money more. The lady had four children herself so absolutely no understanding of how it feels to be struggling to conceive.

Grr...

Sending you a hug lil x

Just wanted to say I hadn't read the post when I wrote my first one - hence I thought the lady was just having a secret preference for a boy. I hadn't realised she'd posted about being completely devastated by it.

don't worry la, once I calmed down and read some of the replies to my post I realised I was probably a bit harsh. I think what got me was the language such as "devastated". I don't think where she posted it mattered, it was the way she posted it and the focus of her question wasn't the question she was or should really be asking.

Aww la didn't realise you were having a DS! That's so great :) and I don't think you are a bad person. I think we all have slight preferences about what we want, I just think it's wrong to express upset or disappointment if you are having the opposite.

I've always wanted boys. I also thought I would struggle to connect with a girl. But I also really want a girl to have the relationship with a daughter I have with my nan. So if I had either it would be amazing :)

Slightly off topic from the girl/boy preference debate, but I need some advice!...
Can anyone recommend some lube? -the sort that doesn't kill off the sperms??
Preferably something I can pick up in a Superdrug/Boots store.
I don't really want to go into a pharmacy and have to ask that face-to-face with someone!!

La you're having a boy? Congratulations!

You can get some really snazzy boys clothes these days. Much better than the pink, frilly shit for girls.

Preseed or conceive plus. Both available on Amazon, if you like.

Preseed!! Got me upduffed first month using it (and technically the second too as first after mc)

Yes a wee boy La :) sorry I thought I'd told you. I always feel conscious that it could be insensitive to keep harping on about pg here. Not told anyone in RL we want to keep it to ourselves so we can announce it after he's here. Definite boy - he wasn't shy and wiggled it at the camera!

Aaah, he takes after his mummy!

I don't know what you mean!

I'm the shy and retiring sort

Bollocks. I'm lurking on the grads thread. I see Lemon has taken her filth there!

Speaking of, can you please recruit a grad for a new thread?

la you have clearly forgotten how much we know about ur cm and you previous sex life!

Yeah la you can't keep anything from us

Congrats la

It's the easter holidays. Woop woop. I celebrated in true rock and roll fashion.. I had a nice long bubble bath this evening and did my sainsburys shop online!

I have a question. To pee or not to pee? Not on a stick unfortunately. I was I the bath before and DH was beginning to get a bit impatient as he needed to pee. I told him to just go and I'd close my eyes. Not something I'd want to watch, but when you gotta go you gotta go and I was quite happy in my bath. He refused. Would you pee in front of your partner/anyone? I have done in front of one of my exes and in front of a friend in the ladies in a club or whatever and although I can't say I'd want to be watched if I was desperate and DH was in the bathroom I would rather just pee than my bladder explode... DH thinks I'm weird...

Yeah I pee! Dh is disgusted and runs away but I know he loves it!

lil you got deleted! New hero! What did you say? People are being very nice to you on there though, did you tell them all about how he won't tie you up often enough?

I think it's natural to have hopes and dreams for unborn/yet to be conceived children. Be they concerning sex, education, preferences in sports (yep Dh doesnt like football either). Those are completely natural. However, that op made it sound like she'd rather have a baby goat than a baby girl. And I thought the infighting was completely ridiculous. I love Aibu for that!

la I know the thread you mean. I cried when I read it then posted and completely killed the thread! That woman was a tosser! The op in today's thread just seemed scared to me but bloody hell, talk about looking for problems! Being a girl is ace

pickle my Dh isn't into sport and was raised by a big family of Irish women wolves so he also worries about having a boy. We have a nephew he adores though, and plays footie with him for hours so it's just fear of the unknown.

Preseed mae tis slippy!

la I knew you were having a boy! because I stalk you because I read the grads Fred from time to time. I love hearing how you are all doing, we all invest so much into each other's stories that it would be weird to not know how gaggias arse is these days and if mountain has stopped stressing yet for example.
Therefore I see no need to feel like you're rubbing anyone's face in it or whatever by posting on here. Personally, it makes me feel better to see you all having happy normal pregnancies. But if you don't want to bang on about it on here I'd completely understand. I'd just continue to check up on you all on the grads Fred but don't think it causes upset to see one of our own having a baby. We want one aswell as you, not instead of you just not a boy! Joke!! That's obviously a joke!

i said she was selfish and her dad deserved better tink said having a child is a privilege not a right. I was quite harsh. she was stupid to write her op the way she did though.

as for peeing dh and I pee in front of each other daily. we don't even bother shutting the bathroom door. 10yrs together we have no secrets. we draw the line at no2s though. I've done it once while he was in same room but not watching because I was desperate. we were at a camp site and had been together only 4months! cringe!

dd not dad stupid phone