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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:20

But country it MUST be filled

OP posts:
MyBlackCat · 17/03/2015 20:21

Sneaks in and whispers still no AF runs away......

jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:24

Is she overdue black?!?

OP posts:
MyBlackCat · 17/03/2015 20:34

Yes Jelly - LP has been 11 days for last 3 cycles, currently 13dpo

jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:35

When are you going to POAS? When you get back from skiing?

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 20:35

Does this still have room?

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 20:35

Yes! It does!

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 20:37

Jelly you do make me laugh!

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 20:38

Fill the Fred! Fill the Fred!

MyBlackCat · 17/03/2015 20:38

I have cbfm with me so could test with that but as it's the equivalent of a digi I would rather wait a few more days I nearly threw up on a chair lift today

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 20:38

Great new Fred title La! Witty as always!

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 20:40

Sounds fun Cat Sad I'd wait till you get home. Unless you are desperate for the apres ski.

MyBlackCat · 17/03/2015 20:41

I've stopped drinking honey - had wine last night and if that's the last glass I have for 9 months then I finished on a good one!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 17/03/2015 20:42

Jelly I knew you were going to be my lucky girl! Wink Flowers

Lemondrizzletwunt · 17/03/2015 20:42

When a man grows old

Lemondrizzletwunt · 17/03/2015 20:42

And his balls grow cold

Lemondrizzletwunt · 17/03/2015 20:42

And the end of his knob turns blue

Lemondrizzletwunt · 17/03/2015 20:43

With a kink in the middle

Lemondrizzletwunt · 17/03/2015 20:43

Like a one-stringed fiddle

Lemondrizzletwunt · 17/03/2015 20:43

He can a tale or two...

Lemondrizzletwunt · 17/03/2015 20:46

Cuntflaps

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 20:46

Ha ha ha ha!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 17/03/2015 20:46
Star
Lemondrizzletwunt · 17/03/2015 20:46

[heart]

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