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Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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Thread gallery
12
jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:53

I joined a Fred today about making Christmas babies

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:53

Oh no country why not

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:54

I think you should name change to cunt-ry

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:54

ga would approve

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:55

I could keep going on about random shit to fill this Fred

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:55

Like today in work I peeled an orange in one go. It looked like penis. So much so my colleague fell off her chair laughing

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:56

Here's a cat

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!
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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:57

And here's a sheep

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!
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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:58

I'm tempted to go to this nick clegg thing and shout abuse at him

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:59

Is the Fred full yet

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:59

Is anyone else repulsed by human sex organs. I realised whilst DP was peeling off his cock ring that penis's and vaginas are gross

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:00

DP just asked me to shave his balls for him......

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:02

He also complained about how much you folks know about our sex life. I said there's no such thing as over sharing

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:07

Far too many posts left for me to fil.

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:07

This

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:08

Fred

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:08

Needs

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:08

To

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CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 20:08

Pahahaha jelly . Dh has buggered off out so am watching poldark. We didn't want a Christmas baby but dh wants to continue Ttc. He says he wants a baby more than he he doesn't want a Christmas one!! That's big coming from him !

jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:08

Die

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:10

Aww that's so sweet country

When we started out we said we didn't want a Xmas baby. We also said we would stop TTC if it got near to August this year because otherwise i would be due next May when our wedding is.

Now an Xmas baby would be wonderful, and if we get to July/aug we won't stop TTC because what if that was our month!! We will just deal with the consequences and hope LOS prevails

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:11

I'm sorry for making a bad Fred by the way.

lemon I'm so glad it was lucky for you and gx it's also lucky for sky

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:12

Country you need to help me kill fill the Fred

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CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 20:14

Exactly! He surprised me really. It's not like he's seemed like he doesn't want a baber but he's not exactly vocal about it. His words were don't be ridiculous we're not stopping. Fuck it

CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 20:15

Now who's being ridiculous jelly it's just a ruddy Fred!

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