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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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12
jellypi3 · 01/03/2015 09:04

Yeah i should stop. I'll turn my alarm off! Do you think your temps are erratic because of the MC? I don't think my post ov temps are high enough this time round.

Cat I gave up on my CBFM. It just pissed me off that it can't pick up my peak. I do input stuff on FF but I also find that tedious.

I'm having a Game of Thrones day today.

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 01/03/2015 09:05

wow you play guitar honey? That's awesome! I used to play the Piano but stopped after a while.

OP posts:
auroraboringalis · 01/03/2015 09:09

A proud smug feeling upon classifying shagging. I like! Grin
Morning viroids! Six shags in four days and we are pooped.

Auroraboringalis cum Austral
Late thirties
One 11 month DC and felineness to boot
Still breastfeeding
Ttc actively since dec 14, before that hopin' 'n prayin', cycle 1.5 since starting to pay attention to shit

Jcandy · 01/03/2015 09:12

Name: JC or candy
Age: 30
TTC: Aug 14 mc Nov 14
DC: none

Can't believe I missed the end of the Fred! Thanks for doing a new one jelly gx it's lucky! I'm 6dpo cd26.

Picking my car up today!! Grin am I a bit sad for actually feeling guilty for getting rid of my old car? I feel like I'm giving away a family member! I keep looking out th window at him and saying sorry Hmm

Jcandy · 01/03/2015 09:13

Oh definitely feel smug when I put in that we've shagged! I love doing that Smile

jellypi3 · 01/03/2015 09:17

I felt like that when i got rid of my old car jc. It was the first car I bought when I passed my test, a bright green Ford KA. Sad times.

Bloody hell auro that's a lot of shagging! I will pass the crown of SOTM to you!!!

JC when are you planning on testing? 14DPO?

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justtheonethen · 01/03/2015 09:32

Love putting the shags on the app, I feel a great sense of accomplishment!

4dpo here, feeling hopeful after massive shagging effort this month.

Name: just
Age: 32
Dcs: one incredibly spoilt fat white cat
Ttc: since December 2015 but this is first month we have actually got the jizz up there at the right time.

lildottie · 01/03/2015 09:41

jelly it could be the lump of miroid draped over me when the alarm goes off (we likes our cuddles) or could be my body still adjusting from the ivf drugs and/or mc.

Ainat266 · 01/03/2015 09:45

another weird dream, another bad nights sleep. :-(

went to see my friend last night for a couple hours though. was able to talk to her about things. made me feel a little better.

hope all not viroids have beautiful sunshine where you are! 1st March and we have sunshine!

Hobbit19 · 01/03/2015 10:14

Mini cat has got cat flu and was making horrendous snotty noises while we were DTD this morning - charming.

jellypi3 · 01/03/2015 10:14

ah right lil. DP and I are quite cuddly too, but I set my alarm for 5:00am to temp so it's before he starts cuddling me lol.

ain sorry you are sleeping bad. Is it worth trying some herbal sleeping pills?

Happy 1st of March

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daisyspice · 01/03/2015 10:28

Jeeez! Missed so much chat sorry viriods I've been MIA but back on the wagon

Name: daisy
Age: 28
TTC: dec 2014
DC: 0 2 fur baby's

No idea what's happening with my cycle this month kinda forgot since do asked me to marry him SmileSmileSmile

Hobbit19 · 01/03/2015 10:38

Eeeeep! Daisy that is so exciting! More wedding planning, Yey!!

lildottie · 01/03/2015 10:42

congrats daisy!!!! Grin

jelly you are far more dedicated than me! I've got to be up at 5.30 m-w this week though so that's going to screw my chart up even more!

Jcandy · 01/03/2015 10:59

Congratulations daisy!! Smile

Yeah think 14dpo jelly which would be next Monday but my sister and her husband are visiting next weekend so may end up having to test early coz she'll moan if I don't drink!

jellypi3 · 01/03/2015 12:15

wow congrats daisy :D wedding planning is fucking impossible great!!

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honeysucklejasmine · 01/03/2015 13:14

Congratulations Daisy! That's so exciting!

Jelly i play bass like a badass

auroraboringalis · 01/03/2015 14:03

Congrats daisy! :)

MrsWatts · 01/03/2015 14:32

Congratulations Daisy! Wedding planning is brill!

LaLaLaaaa · 01/03/2015 14:35

awww thats lovely daisy congratulations!

From the looks of it that's quite a few of you on dpo, so we'll have some testing soon. Keeping my gx!

Jelly - yes, discard :)

Love the guitar-playing!

lildottie · 01/03/2015 16:15

well that was difficult, especially as my niece looks a lot like me when I was a baby. had to gulp back tears at one point when I was holding her and dh asked if I was OK. think we should tell them aboutc at some point because they know about the ivf but I just can't take their pity when they have everything I have ever wanted. Sad

honeysucklejasmine · 01/03/2015 16:45

Oh Lil. Sad That sucks so much. I know you know all of this already, but... as someone said to me after stolen-name-gate... your niece wasn't born at the expense of your children, and your difficulties are not a result of your relatives successes. It sucks, big time. I know. But if we let things like this get to us then we'll never be happy again and turn in to some even more twisted version of Miss Havisham, who sits around in an empty nursery being bitches to everyone around us. And we don't want that. no matter how much we think they deserve it right now

Rhi, wherever you are, hapus dewi sant! Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 01/03/2015 16:46

Also, being an Aunt is cool. All the fun, none of the responsibility.

Right, I'm off out for my guitar playing marathon. Wish me healing from callouses!

honeysucklejasmine · 01/03/2015 17:10

Hmm, reading back, that sounds quite harsh. Confused I don't mean to be!

jellypi3 · 01/03/2015 18:02

GOOD LUCK honey :)

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