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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 18:37

honey hooray to getting good news! That's brilliant stuff, so does it mean you're just to crack on?

lil that's brillant, are you pleased with it? I can imagine it's a bit of comfort having it so you don't forget your little beans.

sky poamffrer already!

Who asked about FMU? Full moon unicorn of course! ;) AKA first morning urine some blonde idiot didn't know what it meant either and thought it was unicorn related

Love a bit of Ian McShane. Here's some for you to rub for good luck

Right - I'll get on with this new Fred then shall I?

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!
CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 18:40

I know who he is but why is he a good fertility charm????

nightandthelight · 17/03/2015 18:51

Talked to DH and we have decided to be perfect little JSers this month. Have even deleted my Ovia app. Just going to shag lots and see what happens :)

lildottie · 17/03/2015 18:56

hi la, yeah I love it. I'll post a pic on web in a min. it is really comforting to have something physical to relate to the memory that I haven't pissed on

acupuncture was lovely. she is an amazing woman. I don't know her story but I know she struggled with infertility and/or mc and don't think she has kids. and she is a midwife! and treats ppl like me! I don't know how she has the strength!

lildottie · 17/03/2015 18:57

Here it is

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!
jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:00

Oh wow lil that's gorgeous :) glad acupuncture went well.

I decided not to go fat club. I'm hitting the workout DVD instead!!

country the Ian Mcshane thing came from a conversation ages ago about Lovejoy I think. Some of us had no idea who he was so his face was plastered all over this Fred's for a while and has since been the god of shagging etc

OP posts:
Hobbit19 · 17/03/2015 19:02

Aah, that's lovely Lil xx

CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 19:04

lil that's lovely

Righto will be praying to mcshane from now on then

Dear mr mcshane........

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 19:07

That's gorgeous lil!

OK viroids, here is your new Fred

Good luck everyone!!! I hope it brings you some bfps

CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 19:15

Pahahaha love the title la

lildottie · 17/03/2015 19:32

stats only on new thread until this is full viroids, understand!?!

jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:39

Time
To
Fill
The
Fred!!!!!!!!!!

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:50

This

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:50

Fred

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:50

Will

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:50

Not

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:50

Fill

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:51

Itself

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:51

Apparently I'm the only one without a life tonight.

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:51

I hope you viroids are all busy shagging. I'm going to after my bath

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:52

Just did my 30 DS DVD. Fucking knackered

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:52

More knackered than after a shag

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jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:52

Football is boring tonight

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:52

And my cats just did a really stinky shit

OP posts:
CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 19:53

I'm
Not
Shagging :(

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