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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Hobbit19 · 16/03/2015 23:09

Gx for a morning wee!!

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 16/03/2015 23:13

Thank you. i will believe it when i get a nice strong line!

honeysucklejasmine · 16/03/2015 23:17

Gosh, I've just got plain old hypothyroid. That's bad enough... Hashimoto sounds rubbish! Good luck for FMU!

JC, Ain really glad to hear things are progressing for you.

Seeing the consultant tomorrow. Hope it's constructive!

LaLaLaaaa · 16/03/2015 23:28

Hello! I was summoned! Was it for new Fred? You're only just shy of 900 posts though, are you being very organised? I can do it tomorrow on PC? working from home so lots of procrastination

sky congratulations!!!! Kitten alert! ;)

lil that's ridiculous! Why is it there? Surely you've paid postage and they should just give it to you :(

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 16/03/2015 23:30

honey unless you have had the Radioactive Iodine treatment or a thyroidectomy you are likely to have Hashimoto's if you are hypothyroid. Doctors here don't discuss autoimmune thyroidosis with patients because they don't do any treatment of the autoimmune disease, they only treat the subsequent hypothyroidism. Wishing you all the best tomorrow. I am crossing everything (even my eyes!) that you get some positive news.

To all the rest of you shaggers: You guys are the best Fred ever.

nightandthelight · 17/03/2015 03:17

Possible implantation bleed has turned into the b*h Angry no idea why she has been so weird this month.

Hobbit19 · 17/03/2015 06:11

Oh boo night, sorry to hear that xx

Hobbit19 · 17/03/2015 06:17

Dreamt that I was pregnant last night, and that I had made it to 37 weeks without deciding where to give birth or packing my hospital bag and was getting stressed! My friend is due to give birth any day now and I think perhaps it is playing on my mind! Oh, and I also gave birth in my dream (to a plastic doll). Seriously ladies, don't believe the hype, childbirth is a breeze!!Grin

Jcandy · 17/03/2015 06:37

Got my gx for you this morning sky you kitten!

Yeah lil I'm just forcing myself to do the multitude of things that need to be done. I can't leave them all to dp and they make me worse knowing that I've got to do them. They're only small things but it's a lot of effort to achieve them, but then I'm not really getting any satisfaction from doing them. No wonder I'm so tired!!

auroraboringalis · 17/03/2015 07:14

Wow sky! 5 march you say? Pregnant you say? Woooooo-oooooow!

jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 07:18

Morning shaggers.

sky Congrat-u-fucking-lations! Kitten!!!!!!! Gx for a sticky bean!

ain and jc hope you are both ok x

night sorry :( I'm so wary of anything being IB these days. It's even worse when you are sure it's something and it's not :( our bodies like to fuck with us sometimes.

lil and honey DP gave me a weird look when I told him to shave his balls. He was quite smug that the cock ring was too tight so that's brought him down a peg or two haha!!

My icing day has moved :( FF has changed it to Friday instead of my birthday. Temps are doing a spikey pattern at the moment so feck knows what's happening. Operation shag everyday commences tonight!

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 07:37

Hi La! Yes, new thread soon please! Figured I'd give you a days notice. Wink

Sorry night. What a bitch.

Lil hope you can get it today from the money grabbing post office

Jelly LOL! Did you crush his self esteem?

fallenstar27 · 17/03/2015 07:38

Sorry to hear the witch got you night

Gx for your morning wee sky

CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 07:40

Cd 6 viroids.... You know what that means. I'm back in the game!!

TotallyAnonymousUsername · 17/03/2015 08:07

Congratulations sky! Hope it is a good sticky one for you.

Sincyou'vere all behaving badly and showing charts I'm going to meet about how random my temps are being. I never temped before so I have nothing to compare to but they shot up on cd11, coinciding with pant snot the day before, but then I had a big do 3dpo, and since then they've been above the coverline but not by much. so I think I'm 7dpo, but who knows. DH had a cold so I fed him coffee, cake and medication to encourage a Sunday shag but I don't think I'll get any more until he's better, I just just better hope I really am 7dpo I guess. This is why we shouldn't temp!

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 08:12

Yay Country!

nightandthelight · 17/03/2015 08:21

Ooh congrats sky awesome news :) thanks for being so lovely ladies. DH already looking forward to a month of shagging Grin

jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 08:53

totally do you normally ice that early? i know the FP can vary a great deal. How long on average is your LP?

honey he was slightly crushed but i promised we could play with his new toys be bought at the weekend tonight which perked him up....... Wink

OP posts:
TotallyAnonymousUsername · 17/03/2015 09:17

night sorry af got you. Yay for more shagging though!

jelly I don't really know. I had my mirena out at the end of February, I was having normal length cycles with spotting instead of af while I had it in. Before that I was breastfeeding and before that pregnant. So who knows. When I was ttc last time I had a 12 day lp. Makes it hard to predict when af will be this month though.

jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 09:29

ahhh yeh BC really messes things up :(

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honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 09:40

So, I've seen my consultant well, his registrar and feel pretty good. My disease is not active enough to need special treatment for TTC so that's actually a relief. Seems to be the same all round with each condition... They are so well controlled that it isn't necessary to deviate from norm. Was assured that I can continue medication as required and to contact them if I need to afterwards.

Then saw my actual consultant in the corridor. He said "Planning something?" And smiled so I guess his secretary mentioned my called about EPU results. I said "trying to jump on pregnancy band wagon" and we laughed, so he obviously isn't bothered about the prospect either! (He's very serious normally, and really knows his stuff)

So I guess now I am happy that all that needs to be done is being done, and we just need to keep shagging! ghost jizz last night

CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 09:43

Just wrote a long message and lost it fuck sake

jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 09:46

Yay honey that's good news :) At least you know your condition isn't having a negative affect on you!

OP posts:
SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 17/03/2015 10:34

Oh honey I am so happy you got some positive news!
All of you are so sweet! Thank you for well wishes. Got 2 BFNs this am but was up and down all night with ill DD so perhaps my wee hasn't had time to brew to full strength!

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 10:56

Thanks ladies. I'm pleased.

Sky, give it 24 hours to go up a bit.

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